All Comments on 'Working Away'

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<p class=MsoNormal>The second half of the story was pretty good stroke material

– much better than average.<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal>But there are two things that keep the story from being more

than stroke:<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal>(1)<span style='mso-tab-count:1'>   </span>It is

not necessary – in fact, irrelevant – that your protagonist has a

cock that would qualify as “monster” anywhere but this site<o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal>(2)<span style='mso-tab-count:1'>   </span>Your

protagonist seemed not at all inconvenienced by his marital status – I

guess he didn’t think once about the lies he had told to his wife, or would

have to in the future<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span><o:p></o:p></p>

<p class=MsoNormal><![if !supportEmptyParas]> <![endif]><o:p></o:p></p>

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The only thing that really stood out to me was the word "boob." You only used it once I believe, and it really broke my concentration... I don't know what it is, but that word always ruins a good story for me.

Take that how you will! Not bad for a first try.

A pure erotic story, and as such doesn't need conflict, drama, plot twists and such. My only regret is that folded paper isn't active.

Chilley