All Comments on 'Magic in America: Fate'

unique plot, well characterized! Good luck!

I loved the plot and the story. I felt there could be more suspense and buildup but the story did flow well enough to keep interest.

The opening did not grip me and yell "READ ON"

Their/they're/there problem in the first paragraph and a punctuation error or two in the story.

You done did good girl. I especially admire the way you managed to build suspense in such a short story.

Rumple

A few misspellings but they didn't detract from the story. Good luck!

Cookie :)

in spelling, word structure, etc. but not enough to detract too much. Generally well done but rather short.

was good..good plot.

Luck to you in the Contest!

~Honey

Why did you stop right there? I want to know what happens next. I wanna know, I wanna know.

Is that enough whining to get you writing the rest of it?

Good luck in the contest.

Black Tulip

... that grabbed my interest. I'm looking forward to the next installment.

Interesting topic, I wish it had been longer as well. There were a few spelling errors, but the story carried over the usual stops for grammar. Thanks, a good story.

You're becoming a real writer, Sweet. Beautifully done at the fortune teller's. A rushed, tell-y ending made the story feel clipped and kind of incomplete, though. All that wonderful set-up and not much pay-off.

I loved the story. Great plot and excellent characterizations. You've grown to become a very good writer. I can't wait to read more.

Thanks for bringing this story to my attention :) It was interesting and I really liked the way you began, you set the mood very well. I'm hoping to read what happens very soon :D

Wow! Great story opening. Thanks for the excellent read. ~ Red