All Comments on 'Horny Housework Surprise Husband'

I think this story was about Chuck and Star. Or, was it about Star and Chuck? With only two characters, I think the reader might be able figure out who is who. A little pronoun usage would reduce monotony and elevate the piece from the 1st grade level to somewhere around the 6th.

Seriously, Pat Sajak. I'd like to buy a pronoun.

please you a spell and grammar checking program.

very amateurish and poorly written effort.

As far I could tell, this is the author's first story, so give him/her a break; most new authors needs to practice.

Anyways, great story

Thanks for the feedback.

As the past poster mentioned it was my first story.

I get that its amateurish - I thought that was the point of a free forum/website.

Anyways if anyone wants to edit the words without changing the storyline go ahead - Just let me know how you go :)

Good theme, and could be realistic, as I've actually done similar. Actual quoted dialog will improve the story, i.e Star said, " Say, Honey...."