All Comments on 'Mei Meets a Monster Ch. 05'

Descriptive terms need to be worked on along with accuracy of anatomy and understanding your target audience. Edit before posting to catch these mistakes.

"... her pussy doing flips." - How exactly does a pussy do flips?

"... and slid in beside her friend .... Within a hundred meters Lisa stopped suddenly and Mei ran into her back." - How does someone run into your back when waking beside you?

" Shocked she looked down to see a huge cockhead slowly rising from her crotch. "Oh crap, that is seriously weird."" - a young girl sees a huge cockhead slowly rising from her crotch and all she says/thinks is "Oh crap, that is seriously weird."? Really?!?

" Her virginal pussy resisted the longest before the huge member, slick with her juices, finally penetrated." ... " Never before had she felt so full" - Of course she hadn't - she's supposedly a virgin (though not acting like one)

"... Mei hung limply on the two poles" - She was impaled in the poles, not hanging from them.

David Hardcastle is sleeping nude in the home he shares with his teenage daughter?

" Trembling she climbed onto the bed and straddled him. Flicking her long hair around one shoulder, she lined up his cock and slowly pushed down. Savoring every moment she eased his full length into her sopping virgin pussy" - The first time a girl has sex is very painful. The "woman on top" position causes much more pressure. This wouldn't have been something to "savoir", it would have been so painful she wouldn't have been able to take him all in without participation from the male, forcing himself in. The pain would be far to extreme.

" "Weird, weird night" she thought as she headed to the kitchen. She looked at her chubby body as she opened the fridge. "Damn, you don't need any more food girl." - Charming. This was obviously written by a man (guessed that a long time ago, but here's the concrete proof). If you want to attract female readers, don't write crap like this. You sound like a superficial ass. Men judge women too harshly in life, far from prime shape themselves but expecting women to look like supermodels. They don't want to be bombarded with this crap recreationally as well.