All Comments on 'The Internal Weed'

I had a somewhat confusing back and forth between the headings of the stanzas. The similar structure calls for comparison of course, but the addressees are not fully ‘compatible’; not that I am complaining. Lord and GOD do of course; Father could join them on one hand, but not if it's coalitional with ABBA (any acquaintance with Hebrew BTW?) which of course is exactly ‘father’ only with NO connotations, at least not in the way you put it in the poem, to a deity. But I can live with a compromise like ‘some trusted authority’. I think that any complainer to some higher moral authority is still a believer (see Job, even Jesus). For that I envy you.

...but this "poetry" needs a lot of help.

I did this as an experiment in style and expression. The terms used to address God are all words used to name God

Abba is the Aramaic word for "father." The word occurs three times in the New Testament. In many religions, the supreme God is given the title and attributions of Father.

This was not meant to be an expression of Christianity as much as we call on whatever we believe is a higher power when feeling lost. So in that aspect I feel the use of the forms of address were consistent in meaning.

I did this to say something that may not work for everyone that reads it and thats ok. However, whether I rework this piece one day or not I still feel that there was something that needed to be said. I doubt anyone creates work that is enjoyed by everyone and I do not mind constructive feedback It is how you learn to improve.

I write for myself in the end I guess something about this piece I like enough to toss it out there.

Oh and I have to say if you do not like something and bother to comment, have the courtesy to have something more instructive than "this piece needs help"....all that says to me is you have nothing I should care about to contribute.