All Comments on 'The Vitruvean Man'

Apologies to Coleridge:

Circles, circles, every where

The phallus it did shrink

Circles, circles every where

Nor any shaft to sink.

Nice poem, aesthetically. Rhythm. Language. Imagery. The components work well together.

Complex. Chaotic in a good way. But it still feels unified and cohesive.

My only critique, and it isn't really a criticism, is that my immersion came to a crashing halt when I came to the symbol, because my brain had to process it. But that might be an American problem. Reserve currency privilege. We don't see non-dollar notations as often as our cosmopolitan friends, I'd wager. Not sure if it's Yen (Japan) or Yuan (China) or a symbol for something else. I thinks it works as is, but it's a mental speedbump. Not saying you should change it. Just giving feedback for reference.

P.S. I looked it up. Turns out yen and yuan use the same symbol. And the symbol is erotically suggestive given the subject matter. It works as internal rhyme or near rhyme and the turn on words is kind of brilliant. Keep it. Fuck whatever confusion it causes to us sheltered yanks. We'll just have to adjust. lol

Five stars for the first two stanzas, and then on purely literary grounds.