All Comments on '2023/08/23 - Dan + Bonnie (+Marcel)'

WHAT A FANTASTIC STORY!!!!!!

Really AMAZING!!! Very well written, and playing with our feelings all throught the story!!! Even dropping some tear drops somewhen...

My sincere congratulations! 5 totaly deserved stars!!!

Well done!

This was really good. Hope to see more

Very good, could not walk away from the writing 55555555555555555555555555555555555555

Thank you

Around the last third of page 5 I was hoping it would end. By the bottom of page 6 I knew it should have ended. By page 7 I hoped they were all killed in a sudden traffic accident. Skimmed the rest of page 8 and a bus crash would have been way better.

1 Five

2 Better than anything I could do so my hat is off to you.

What a ride..... I thought it got bogged down a bit toward the middle end, but it was worth the read.

Eight pages with those tags? No thanks. No read, no score.

I guess the answer to your name is the answer to this story - Yes I'm sleeping after reading this.

I have to agree with the comment below that you just didn't know when to end it. By the end, it was just tedious.

Not that the earlier sections were perfect. I had to laugh when he decided well after Amanda's birth that he needed to divorce her to protect himself from being considered the father. Where he didn't even file before she was born, divorcing at that point isn't going to matter on that issue. Sadly, that was just one of many mistakes.

What garbage. You can't tell this story in 2 or 3 pages? Another rendition of what Victor Hugo could have done to make money writing to be paid for each word that he wrote down. Playboy would love to have a mindless twit like this,

Went from chapter 4 to 7 then 8.

Let me get this straight… Dan’s second wife died and somehow, he and Bonnie got together at the end. Bonnie, after sex with Dan, thought of all the things Marcel taught her in bed and was thinking of ways to implement them without old dummy Dan wouldn’t realize this. It was implied that Bonnie would thing about Marcel while putting up with the man she loved (LOL). And to top it off… his son married Bonnie & Marcel’s illegitimate daughter. You couldn’t come up with something like that…. It you did. Congratulations!

Thanks for your outstanding story!!!!

Forgiveness always costs a star. Great writing but just a 4 star.

Great story concerning another victim of the Martian Slut Ray. Entertaining plot, well-defined characters. Not totally unexpected ending. Please keep writing. Thanks for the story.

There is a comment below that said "forgiveness always costs a star." Wow, no doubt this person sincerely meant that. There is so much anger and hatred these days that many people feel this way. Although Bonnie's sin was horrendous, this writer painted a credible tale of redemption. I hope this anonymous commenter never commits a sin or at least some day learns the strength of forgiveness.

There were a few spelling mistakes, but you wrote one heck of an amazing story. In the end you were able to show what a man has to go through during his life to keep not only a family together and a marriage, but to be able to face himself knowing that if he fails with his spouse, it can partially collapse his whole world. You still got the 5 for all the hard work. Keep up the good writing.

Great story

Amazing.

Well done. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

YES! This story right here. I hate reconciliation but I love seeing how it could be pulled off. You can't pull it off with a wave of the deus ex machina wand like you can with the BTB stories. There's freedom to do so with BTB stories since they're power fantasies to those that feel powerless. Realism comes a distant second to the message to keep fighting and not give up. You just can't do the same with reconciliation stories when the most likely readers feel lost and want to give up going into the story. Just go find someone that has been diagnosed with severe depression and tell them to "Just be happy". If they snap then take notes because they'll probably explain it better than I ever could. It's because of this it actually takes some work to be done both by the author and the fictional characters.

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It's really dependent on the reader and I have little doubt that "low effort" RAAC's are actually the BTB counterpart that gives the same message to those that did the betraying. I can see how someone feeling true remorse and hates who they see in the mirror could respond to weak RAACs that make them feel like there's still hope for them. And of course it's also eaten up by those lacking the life experience of either and feel that because they're blissfully naive thus therefore happy that it's painfully obvious everyone else must be trolling.

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So to do it right you gotta be realistic and cover everything. The cheater and cheated at the end are both different people at the end of the story. Both feel harsh betrayal since the younger Cheater betrayed their older Cheater character out of the life they truly wanted with the person they loved. Both need to humble themselves to eat a crap sandwich they dread eventually. The Cheated will need to forgive and take risks again. The Cheater needs to be start being honest with themselves about the type of person they are. It's not fun or pleasant and will always be part of the story of their life. It will define them until the day they die. What's terrifying is a happy ending done successfully involves both characters willingly hold onto that event in their life that caused so much pain in order to be with someone they love. It's terrifying because they can easily move on and let time blur the experience to the point they can forget that it happened for days at a time. Yet they choose to always remind themselves every single day of the worst event in their lives. The changed characters are wiser and they know that it's not enough to live a happy life at the expense of destroying the lives of those love. The wiser characters know that they need to sacrifice some of their own happiness by never forgetting what happened. And by doing this they can be with the person they love and share in the others happiness.

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Ultimately it's a net gain. And it's nearly impossible to pull off successfully in real life. And it takes years and decades. Everyone is sad and has their ego obliterated. And everyone has to fight for whatever remaining scraps of happiness remains and truly be happy with what they have in the end. And it can't be done in a 2 or 3 page story. Which is why as I'm happy this story got published. Good job DormayVOO, go print it out and put it on your moms fridge.

Bonnie was stupid, selfish, arrogant, and borderline sociopathic when she decided to fuck over Dan. And were supposed to think that just happened suddenly, like Bonnie got struck by Martian Slut Ray? No. Either Dan married a whore just waiting for the right asshole to come along, or Bonnie was suddenly stricken with mental dysfunction. Either way it makes it clear that Bonnie was a worthless woman, lacking the normal heart, soul, and brain of a decent woman.

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Which explains why it was External forces that made Bonnie change, not any internal rehabilitation or sudden enlightenment. If Marcel had been even a half way decent single man Bonnie would have spent the rest of her life fucking his brains out, bearing his children, and being totally content in fucking over Dan. And Dan must know this too. Which guts the entire justification of any reconciliation. In the end Dan is Entirely Bonnie's fall back plan, her consolation prize, her settlement for second best. She even admits it when she's fucking Dan that she wants what Marcel taught her, and she plans to sneak it into Dan's bed. If she can't have Marcel at least she can get some of his sexual prowess, if Dan is up to the task.

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And that's the sequel someone should write. Dan finally comes to his senses and confronts Bonnie with the above described realities. He knows that if Bonnie could wave a magic wand she would not make Marcel disappear, she would instead make Marcel a man worth loving and respecting, and Dan a mistake that she realized she made when she first met Marcel. Wow, what a perfect woman Mandy would have been then.

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Dan should keep Bonnie around for cooking, cleaning, and pussy, until he can find a real woman to replace the one that died. Bonnie wanted Dan to be her second place cock, so she should understand and appreciate him making her his consolation pussy, until he can find better. If that never happens then maybe they can at least end their days as fuck buddies. If Dan remarries the whore he will deserve whatever shit she eventually dumps on him, again.

I‘m‘a sucker for happy endings, sue me!!!

Five stars.

Captcha

It’s not the best story but … I like a good btb but also believable reconciliation. to your credit plot wise the husband didn’t just roll over and accept it yet also managed to take the high road throughout all of it AND YOU MADE IT WORK !! it’s hard as a person not to get bitter at someone who screwed you over it’s even harder to pull it off as the writer, You portray the lasting damage done by the affair excellently. With that said the story for me sits in the 3-4 star range because personally I’d like to see another paragraph or two sentences of Bonnie takeing accountability. Where the problem I have lies is Bonnie being the one to heal the main character. not Michelle. I’m not saying take away that heart to heart near the end where Bonnie understanding both the damage she has done and the joy he has seeing she has changed but I think Michelle is the more believable option for healing the ptsd and pain pre child birth Bonnie inflicted on the Mc

I was content with the plot through the first third of this story, respecting how Dan had declared that he would never reconcile, especially his stance never to become the bastard child's father. When the retribution on Marcel was unleashed, I was thrilled, except ...there were 4 or so more pages of story remaining. At the time I felt that could only mean one thing: Boonie & Dan would reunite.

I hated that, but read on wondering how you could possibly pull that off.

OK, you did it and I still hated Bonnie being taken back, but I agree that comfort from her was what was best for Dan, as he had been through more than enough.

WOW!! I wasn't sure about this. The woman was delusional. And in America, you don't let the ass hole walk away with your wife. He's french (small 'f') for Christ's sake Beat the shit out of him, see her with divorce papers at work, name him as co-respondent, and even if you go to jail, it's worth it. And this is in the Carolinas (can't remember if it's North or South) It doesn't matter, he'll do community service if the sheriff even arrests him.

THEN the plot gets interesting and the slut realizes she fucked up- BIG TIME. Retribution time. And what a retribution. This guy is cool. The only problem I have is after taking him and the institutions involved to the cleaners and helping everyone and their brother to live a decent life, the frog should have taken a swim in the Seine. Frogs can swim, right? And if he can't, tough shit. All in all, I liked it. Long, but good. 8.5 stars, cause it deserved it, and it would have 10 except the shithead is 'still walking around up-right'. the Bear approves.

The BEAR

So you kill off the decent girl to RAAC with the slut. -10

No forgiveness nor would I give a fuck what happened to the slut after I left

I'm on page 5, please don't kill Michelle for a forced raac

Happy endings can be had by moving on from the cheater too.

I liked the story. Dan is the type of guy we should all aspire to be. Bonnie made a mistake, no doubt a colossal mistake, but spent the next 20+ years trying to make amends. Living with such bitterness destroys a persons soul. I'm glad they forgave each other in the end and I'm sure Michelle would approve. :DD

This story has the things that make for a great read. I'm giving it 5 stars from Xluckylee

I cannot describe the range of emotions I felt ...

Damn one of the best stories I've read thus far. ... 6/5 stars

I have been where Dan was, you made this old man cry. Please keep writing.