All Comments on '4th and Goal'

Took a bit to get going, did feel like it could have been trimmed down a bit but still highly enjoyable.

The ending seemed a bit blunt and stunted. It seemed to lack some info about the birthmother. After so much character development it seemed to end abruptly. Like you tacked on.... and they lived happily after. I will give it four stars.

It's been a long time since I've read a mesmerizing story such as this. I think you are a fantastic writer and your details hit the mark. I loved the bits with the Old Man, it was very life-like; the partying all night just to get up and pull your shift the next day so somebody else wouldn't have to carry your weight, suffering through the pounding headaches ... days remembered.

You are a very gifted writer, and I hope to be able to write half as good as you one day. I agree with another critic though, the ending seemed stunted. Like you wanted the story to end and didn't care to build on it anymore. For the body of the work though, five stars all the way!!

Perfect, and loving lesbian family. Number one story

As a guy, when I read lesbian stories, I want explicit fucking. This story was like movies from the 1930's and 40's where the screen would go to black leaving the situation to the viewer's imagination. The only explicitness was in the first chapter where Elizabeth fisted, sucked her roommate's clit, and dildo fucked her ass. There was a lot of tenderness, not enough descriptiveness in my opinion.

What a great story with a wonderful twist at the end. While not as explicit as some stories,it was filled with sensuality and love. I think it is a masterpiece of writing skill. A hearty well done.