A Chef Nurse Patient and Pâtissier

"Oh shit, not good." Dillon replied, wondering what the issue was. Most of Jade's previous clients had much worse disabilities. "Why the concern?"

"I'm not really going to be a carer, more there to stop himself from committing suicide."

"Oh shit... Really?"

"Yeah, he's tried twice already."

"Jade, I don't usually interfere, but do you think that's a good idea?"

She shook her head, and her facial features showed her unease. "No, I'm worried. The problem is, they are friends of my family. I actually know him. We went to school together. I couldn't say no."

"You've already agreed?"

"Yeah, sorry babe. I was sort of stuck. I wanted to say no, but couldn't."

"I get it, but, now I'm really worried. That's a lot of pressure to deal with. I mean, what if he manages to do it... How would you feel?"

"I don't know, shit I suppose. I'd just have to keep a close bloody eye on him."

"Jade, he's gonna have a lot of pain meds, stuff to make him sleep. Christ you'll have to watch him like a hawk."

She nodded slowly, she knew exactly what all the issues were going to be.

"Dillon, I'm doing it to help out. It's only for a while until they find a permanent carer."

"Even so, Jade. You don't have any experience with somebody like that. If he's already tried twice, he's not attention seeking. He bloody means it, he wants to die."

"It's probably just shock you know. Once he realises his life isn't over, and he meets people who have gone through something similar. He'll be okay."

"Or, he finds out where the meds are, and when your backs turned, he tops himself."

She felt a cold shiver run through her. "Don't even joke about it."

"Jade, I wasn't joking. I'm just trying to emphasise how difficult it is going to be for you."

"Yeah, don't worry dude. I've thought of little else."

He gave her a cuddle, and said, "It's your call babe. I'll support you, all I need is for you to be prepared."

His attention was dragged away by some customers turning up. Jade, finished up, and headed home feeling more unsettled than ever. Dillon had certainly made her think twice.

Jade felt the weight of trepidation, as her and Olivia walked into the hospital. It wasn't the hospital, it was what they were going to find inside. All night she had tossed and turned, worrying and fretting. She was ready to tell Olivia she had changed her mind. Seeing the distress Olivia was under, she couldn't do it.

When they walked into Marks room, he was screaming at one of the nurses. "Mark, stop it." Olivia ordered. "She is trying to help you."

"If she wanted to help, all she had to do was give me my meds."

The nurse glared angrily at him. "We have given you what was prescribed. If you are feeling more pain, we can get the doctor to come and assess your needs."

"Fuck you." Mark snapped. "They cut my fucking legs off. Of course I'm in pain, just give me the meds."

Olivia rushed over to his bedside. "Just relax honey, everybody doing their best. If you ask politely, I'm sure they will help."

She turned to talk to the nurse who just shook her head, and signalled for Olivia, to follow her out of the room. Jade anxiously followed as well. She definitely wanted to hear this.

"Mr's Allerton, Mark, does not need more pain medication. We have already programmed his schedule. He has received twice what the doctor originally prescribed. We cannot give him more. He is depressed and that is his biggest problem. He doesn't want to get better."

"What can we do?" Olivia asked.

"He's seeing the psychiatrist soon. I think you should talk to him as well."

The nurses left, and Jade watched on in complete astonishment. "Mark, that was very rude. They were trying to help." Olivia snapped at him.

"Fuck them, they won't help with the pain. I need more pain killers."

"Mark, I've brought Jade, along, she's going to be your day time carer."

For the first time, Jade and Marks eyes met. "Oh fuck no." He muttered angrily. "What the fuck Mum. I don't want that bitch hanging around wiping my arse."

"Mark!" Olivia hissed. "Stop it right this minute, you're making a fool of yourself." She shook her head in bewilderment. "You are going to be able to wipe your own bottom, you know that very well."

"Oh yeah, what about getting me in and out of the shower huh... What then?"

Jade spoke up. "I have plenty of experience, Mark. You will not be my first client. You don't have anything I haven't seen before."

"That's right, I forgot what a slut you were at school. Yeah, I bet you've seen plenty."

"I'm going to forget you said that. I can see you're upset, and you're simply saying things to hurt. I think we will get on well together."

"The fuck we will. I don't want your black arse hanging around me."

"Mark!" Olivia barked. "Stop it. She is trying to help."

"It's okay Olivia." Jade sighed. "That's a bit rich though." She said sarcastically. "You've got more Maori blood than I do."

"That's very true." Olivia said firmly. "And what's more we are very proud of that fact."

Before Mark could reply, the physiotherapist walked in. "Hello Mark. It's time for your session."

"Nah, fuck that shit. I'm not going."

"Suit yourself cowboy. Tomorrow, you're going to be released. Our session this afternoon was going to be all about learning to understand your wheelchair. How it works, how to get in and out of it. How you can make it work for you. I don't care whether you come with me or not. Once you go out through those doors. You are no longer my problem. Your call."

"Mark, please." Olivia pleaded.

It was clearly visible on his face. He felt trapped, his anguish so obvious. "Yeah fine."

On the drive home, Olivia couldn't hold back the tears. She sobbed so hard, she had to pull over. "Oh god, Jade. I'm sorry you had to see all of that."

Reaching over and rubbing her shoulders, Jade said softly. "It's okay, Olivia. I realise he's in a lot of pain, and he feels like his world is ending. I might feel the same way. We can get through it."

"You must know Jade, he will probably try again. We have a safe for his meds, but you will have to keep a close eye on him. That is if he hasn't scared you off."

"No, it's okay. I want to help."

Dillon shook his head, he couldn't hide his displeasure. "After all of that shit, you're still going to do it?"

"Yes, he needs help, and I think the fact we know each other might help. I doubt whether any other carers would put up with his shit."

"I'm not happy Jade, the guy sounds like he's fallen over the edge."

"I think his bite is worse than his bite. You have to see it from his perspective. He was an athlete, in the first fifteen. He played representative cricket. He's lost all of that. He thinks his world has ended."

"I understand all of that, but what concerns me is he takes you down with him."

"Babe, I've got this. I was worried until I saw him. Now I know I have to help."

"You do what you thinks best. As I said. I'll support you. Just remember, you can't save the whole world."

The first few days were awkward. Mark went out of his way to be an obnoxious arse. He acted out, threw shit, swore, and refused any of Jade's attempts to get him out of the house.

His parents had brought him a van fitted with all the latest equipment for getting in and out. Eventually it would be converted so he could drive it himself. At the moment, they didn't feel they could trust him. They relied on Jade to drive him. If she could convince him.

"Hey, I know where we could get the best burgers in the country." Jade said.

"Nah, don't feel like it."

"I promise you, it will be the best burger you've ever eaten."

It took her an hour of pleading, but eventually. He gave in.

Dillon saw them approaching. Mark in his wheel chair, with Jade pushing.

"Hey, Dillon." Jade, called out. "This is Mark, my friend from school."

"Hey, Mark." Dillon, said from behind the counter in his food wagon. "What're you guys up to?"

"Food, we need sustenance." Jade said with a smirk. "I told Mark, you make the best burgers. He wants to try one of your venison ones."

Dillon glanced down at Mark, seeing the anger on his face scared him. "How yah doing mate?"

"Duh... Hello." He snarled. "I'm in a fucking wheelchair, no fucking legs. How do you fucking think I'm doing dip shit."

"Yeah, I can see that, I was trying to be polite."

"Polite my arse. You're just a fuck head."

Dillon had heard enough. "You won't be needing anything from me then you little prick. Big deal, you lost your legs. Tough shit. You can be a pussy and moan as much as you like. Don't take it out on me. In words of somebody way famouser than me. Fuck off."

"Dillon." Jade spluttered in embarrassment.

"No, he deserved it. You might be prepared to put up with that shit, but I'm not."

She glared up at Dillon his eyes hard and fixed, unwavering. "What about food?" She asked.

"You my sexy wife, can have whatever you want. Just wheel the arsehole over by the tables. He's getting nothing."

"Fuck you arsehole." Mark screamed.

"Yeah, whatcha gonna do? Jump up and punch my lights out?" He snarled viciously. Then with the condescension dripping from every syllable. He sneered. "Hello, wheel chair..."

"Fucking prick." Mark muttered. Turning to Jade he said. "Get me outa here. I don't have to put up with his shit."

Reluctantly, she wheeled him away. As they neared the van. He said. "Jesus, what a dick."

"No, Mark. You were the dick. He is my husband, and I know him better than anyone. He only said what he did because you pushed his buttons."

"You're married to that dick? Fuck you could have done better."

She stopped wheeling, and walked around so she could stare into his eyes. "You can swear and carry on at me as much as you like, but if you ever say one single nasty thing about my husband, I'll walk away and leave you wherever the hell we are. Got it."

Dillon watched Jade wheeling the spoiled little prick away. She kept peering back over her shoulder, looking totally embarrassed.

That night after Marks mother arrived to relieve her. She drove down to the food van. Dillon was busy, he had developed a really loyal customer base.

She walked up into the van, to try and help. "I'm sorry about lunchtime. Mark, is still angry with the world."

"I don't care how angry he is. Okay, fate has dealt him a nasty hand, but bad behaviour is still bad behaviour. I would like you to drop the bastard, he doesn't deserve you."

"I can't do that. As much as it doesn't look like it. He is improving. He needs me, it's what I'm paid for."

"No, there's no excuses for the way he carried on here today." Dillon handed over a package to a customer. "The guys an arse."

"I know, he behaved badly. I'm not defending him." Jade said with a hint of irritation creeping in. She had never seen this side of Dillon before. He was usually so empathetic and kind. She'd watched him give away food to people because he didn't think they could pay. "I'm disappointed you can't see how difficult it must be for him."

"I understand more than you know. I have seen friends in similar situations. I used to have a wonderful friend. She was given the news that she had less than three months to live. God damn it. Even she behaved with dignity."

Jade gasped. "Shit, I'm sorry. Was she close to you?"

"Yeah, we were good mates. She put me up when I got out of borstal, she helped me get back on my feet. A really nice person who didn't deserve to die."

"God, how old was she?"

"Forty two."

She stayed to help that night. She cleaned and scrubbed trying to make his next day easier. She realised, she didn't know everything, and it did make her even more angry at the way Mark had carried on.

Things were tense everywhere after that for Jade. Dillon, wasn't happy, and was prepared to say so. After meeting Mark he seemed more determined than ever, that she should walk away.

In some ways, that made her even more resolute in her desire to help Mark. Perhaps to show, she did know what she was doing.

It was working as well. Mark slowly but surely came to grips with the fact, regardless of what he did, or what he said. Jade. Wasn't going to help him in his attempts to commit suicide.

It was after he met the local wheelchair rugby team, that he started to see a way forward. He began to see there was a future. The physio introduced him to a number of high performance handicapped Athletes, and again, they went to great lengths to talk to him, to encourage him, to show him there was hope.

The final piece of insightful planning was the day, Jade, introduced him to a tetraplegic artist. She'd been the victim of a horse riding accident, and had been completely paralysed. Now she painted, holding the paint brush in her mouth.

Jade saw it in Marks eyes as he watched the artist, Erin painting, and her work was amazing. Erin graciously talked to Mark and it was another building block in his move towards acceptance, and to recovery.

It was during their talk with Erin that Jade got the names of several writers, and a teacher. All who had lost the use of their limbs in accidents.

Those conversations lifted Mark, not just because of their work, but also their relationships. The teacher, a woman, had a family, and a husband. That seemed to be something that had troubled Mark.

When he talked to one of the writers. Mark asked Jade to leave them, whilst they spoke. It was an animated conversation, and the writer, at one point held Mark in a hug. When Jade walked back towards them, she overheard part of the conversation. It was clearly about sex,..

Every day, Mark's anger subsided a little more. Trust was building, they talked about most things easily now. Mark put aside his ego. The day she caught him crying his heart out. His body shaking wildly. She moved up onto the bed behind him, and embraced him, as he lay there. "What's the matter?" She asked.

"Nobody is ever going to want me, nobody. I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. No woman will take this on."

"Oh rubbish." She gasped, holding him closer than ever. "You're a good looking guy. If you ever get around to pushing this chip off your shoulder. You're going to be a great catch."

"Fuck off, Jade. Fuck, I haven't got a job, no money, no legs. Who would ever take on that."

"Mark, you're, or at least you used to be charming, and witty. When you get that back, you'll see. Things will change for you. You've got a degree in business management. I heard your father talking to you. You're gonna have a job, and a bloody good one at that."

It was those little moments, that chipped away at his anger. Slowly Jade could see the positive changes in him. He found laughter, made some corny jokes. Up until then, he had been waiting to have his showers in the evening, with his mother, or fathers assistance.

Although, after a fairly strenuous workout on the weight bench. He needed a shower. What's more he needed Jade's assistance to get in and out of the shower.

As she helped him get his clothes off. He joked. "No touching okay. I know you had the hots for me at school."

"Ew, piss off. It was the other way round smart arse. I caught you heaps of times staring."

"Oh yeah, you'd stare too if you saw an elephant."

She slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "You cheeky bastard."

After she got him settled in the seat in the shower, he said. "You can wait out side. I'll call yah when I'm done."

Jade went off to make coffee for them both, and waited for a while. When she walked in, she caught him masturbating. "Jesus, what the fuck, Jade?" He yelled. "Give a guy some fucking privacy aye."

She blushed, seeing his embarrassment. "Sorry dude. I was in the kitchen. I thought you'd be finished." She pulled the door closed, and walked back to the kitchen. A little smirk washing over her face. That was the first time she'd ever seen a guy beating off.

He called out when he was finished, and she walked in to help him. He looked flustered. "Sorry, I shouldn't have yelled."

"Sweet as dude. Next time tell me what you're doing and I'll give you more time."

"Oh fuck yeah. As if I'm gonna tell you that."

Trying to console him, she softened her voice. "Relax... I know you must have urges, it's okay. I'm not offended."

That little interaction seemed to knock down the last of the barriers between them. He became more open. He waited eagerly for her arrival every morning.

Dillon, had let go some of his antagonism towards Mark but he still kept pressing her.

"Have Mark's, parents had any luck looking for a permanent replacement?" He asked hopefully.

"No, not yet babe. They are looking though."

"Jade, he must be getting close to not needing anybody anyway? I mean, come on, there are thousands of people who've lost the use of their legs. They don't need carers."

"Dillon, it's his mental state, you're right. Once he's stable, and a little further along. He won't need a carer."

It annoyed her, that Dillon felt the way he did. He had a hard life. He should be able to see how much Mark needed her, and why did he question her over it? Perhaps that was the bit that irked her the most.

It created a lot of unnecessary tension between them. At least in her eyes.

Their relationship, though slowly recovered. She thought, maybe if she could get Mark to apologise. That might make things easier. When she approached him, Mark nodded. "Yeah, you're right. I was a bit of a dick towards him."

"A bit..." Jade gasped. "Shit, talk about understatements."

He laughed, "What do you want me to do?"

"An apology would be nice."

"Yeah, okay." He sighed reluctantly. He hadn't forgotten Dillon's, words, and the way he spoke to him. Still, if it made things easier for Jade. He was up for it.

Lunchtime, found Jade wheeling Mark up towards the food van. Full of, hope she watched as Dillon served a long line of customers. She cringed a little when saw Dillon's happy demeanour vanish instantly. Suddenly, he looked very uneasy, angry even.

Her hope dissolved like ice cream on a hot summers day.

"Hey babe." She called, as they neared. The line of customers moving to allow Mark, in.

"Hi, Jade." He called, staring disapprovingly at Mark. "Sorry dude, but there's a queue, you'll have to go to the back."

Jade looked at Dillon shocked by his retort. She glanced at the people in the queue. "You don't mind do you?" She asked the line as one.

There was some head shaking, and a couple of disgruntled no's. "See, there you go babe. It's all cool."

"No it's not, Jade. I said there's a queue. These people have been waiting. It's been busy. We can talk if you want to come in."

Mark grabbed her arm. "It's okay, Jade. Let's go to the back."

One of the customers said to Dillon. "Thanks mate, that was pretty rude. He might be handicapped, but he shouldn't have pushed in." Dillon, nodded, he saw the look of shock on Jade's face as she overheard.

When they finally got to the front. Dillon, asked. "What can I do for you Jade?"

"We came for lunch."

"Sweet, what do you want?"

"I'll have the fish, and some salad. I think Marks, going to try the venison burger."

He nodded. "No worries." He handed her a slip, and said. "It'll be about ten minutes."

She sighed sadly, and accepted the slip. "Thanks. Look, I'm sorry about earlier. That wasn't Marks, idea. I didn't think they'd mind."

"It's all good. Everybody got served."

"Dude, I'm sorry." Mark spat out. "Not about today, but the first time we met. I acted like a dick. I know we sorta got off on the wrong foot. I was hoping we might be able to start again."

"Thanks, you might be right." Dillon, responded. He saw Jade from the corner of his eye waving for him to go down.

Wiping his hands, he opened the rear door and walked out towards them. Mark held out his hand, which he accepted as they shook hands.