A Chef Nurse Patient and Pâtissier

Jade squeezed her, then knocked on the bedroom window. "Mark, it's me Jade. Let me in babe, lets talk."

"No!" He screamed. "You're leaving me. Fuck you Jade, just fuck you."

"Mark, let me in." Swallowing hard, she said softly. "I'm not leaving okay. Let me help."

The fitful sobbing slowed. "Do you promise?" He said with hope. "You have to promise."

Olivia, stared at her, not understanding. Jade sighed deeply. "I promise, Mark. I'm not going anywhere. Let me in."

"Jade, I can't go through this again. If you leave me, I will kill myself."

"Let me in, Mark."

"What happened between you two?" Olivia asked, her voice tinged with accusation and blame.

Jade grimaced, replying softly. "Something that shouldn't have. I let my feelings for Mark, get in the way."

"Oh my god. That's why he's like that."

"Yeah, last night. Things got out of hand."

"Jade, you just made him a promise to stay with him. Is that what's happening?"

Jade shook her head slowly. "I simply need to get inside, and talk to him."

"Marks, not like that Jade. You made him a promise, he sees that as a commitment."

"We can discuss it, but I'm a married, Olivia. Last night I made a huge mistake. I love my husband."

They both heard the door latch release, and the door swung open.

She rushed in and found Mark dragging himself along on the floor. His wheelchair laying upended on the sofa.

Olivia rushed in behind Jade. She got the wheelchair, as Jade knelt on the floor hugging Mark to her. "What are you doing, you silly bugger."

"I can't live without you Jade. I love you. I'm not afraid to say it, I love you completely."

"Mark, you know this isn't simple. I have a husband, who I love."

Olivia wheeled the chair over, and together with Jade they lifted Mark up into it.

Olivia on one side hugging him, whispering through her tears how much she loved him. Jade her cheeks wet with her own tears trying to reassure him.

It took an hour, before he was calm enough, and Olivia said. "I'm late for work. I can't risk another late start." With hugs and kisses, she left.

Jade made, them a cup of tea. "Would you like something to eat?" She asked.

He nodded, as he sat with his head in his hands crying. "I hate this fucking chair. I hate my life. I know you're going to leave me, just like everybody. You're just going to walk away and leave me here on my own."

Jade passed him his cup of tea, replying. "Mark, I love you, do you hear me. I said I love you. That will never change." She went back to the kitchen to finish making breakfast, and rang the studio to tell them Mark wasn't coming in today.

They took it well. Jade figured, they were probably used to stars being unreliable.

All day, they cuddled together, and talked. Mark struggled, his recent gains with self confidence, and seeing a future were all eroded away. Jade saw it in his face, in his words. The fact he didn't once pick up his guitar.

It was later in the afternoon, almost her time to leave. Mark pulled her into an embrace, and the kiss exploded all the emotions again roaring into life. They made love with a ferocity impossible to hide from.

Afterwards, they lay together, and he begged her not to go.

"I have to Mark, I have a life as well. You know that."

"I don't care about him. I love you. I want you to spend the night with me."

They were still cuddled together, naked, and Jade felt especially close to him... She desperately wanted to give that to him but knew if she did. It would be the end of her marriage.

"I can't, Mark. I simply can't."

He didn't move, he lay there, trying not to cry. It was as Jade reversed out the driveway, she saw Olivia.

"Jade, can we talk?"

Olivia climbed in the passenger seat, and they parked a few houses up the road.

"Jade, honey. I don't know what's going on between you and Mark. I know you are both very close."

Feeling guilty, and ashamed Jade replied. "Olivia, I've made a huge mistake. Mark, has a huge crush on me."

"No, Jade, this goes further than that. I saw it today. I'm a bit slow. I never picked up on it before. You love him as much as he loves you."

Jade couldn't hide her embarrassment. Tears started to flow, and Olivia pulled her into a hug. "It's okay, Jade, honey. Let it out."

"I made a huge mistake, Olivia. I broke the first law of nursing. Don't fall for a patient. It's so easy to let sympathy take hold, and soon you replace it with love."

"Is that what happened, or do you actually love Mark?"

"I do have feelings for him." Jade sobbed, "I do, and it's not fair."

"Honey, has it got physical?"

Jade nodded, her embarrassment complete. "I'm not a slut Olivia. This has never happened before."

"Oh sweetie, I never said anything like that. I know you well enough to know that. What worries me, is what's going to happen to Mark."

"He isn't in a good space." Jade replied. "He didn't go into the studio today. He hardly moved. I feel terrible."

"It's not your fault. I take it you still plan to move with your husband?"

"Yes, he wants to leave early now."

"Why?"

"Because I told him that Mark, and I made love. He's pretty upset."

"Oh dear. Will your marriage survive?"

"I don't know. Dillon, is amazing, and he said he would forgive me, but I don't know."

"What about, Mark?"

"God, I don't know Olivia. I have made such a mess of this."

"No honey, no you haven't. If it wasn't for you. Mark might not have got this far." She held Jade's hands tightly in hers, and said. "Is there any chance you might stay? I know you love your husband, but if there is doubt in your mind..."

"No, Dillon, and I. We're meant to be together. I don't know how we get past this, but I have to try. He doesn't deserve this."

"No, but..." She grimaced. "If you do have feelings for Mark, as you say. Perhaps that was meant to be as well?"

"I feel for Mark, and I know this is my fault, but I'm married, and I love my husband. I don't for the life of me know how I let this happen. I have to get Mark back up, so he can let me go."

"Jade, honey. That's not going to happen. He's more than in love. He's completely obsessed."

Jade drove off feeling terrible, worse than ever.

She had showered and changed by the time Dillon got home. She tried to prepare for his return, she had gone over in her head what she would say. It all came tumbling down the moment their eyes met.

She saw the shutters come down, the disgust, the horror. It was all there staring at her. "You fucking bitch." It was all he said. He pushed roughly past her as he walked into the bedroom for his shower.

Even with the temperature at it's hottest, he felt no better. Changed and ready for a fight. He walked back into the lounge. "It's over Jade. Christ all fucking mighty. I've had it. I'm leaving tomorrow. You can stay and move in with your lover, do whatever you want. I'm done."

"Dillon, I'm sorry. I went there today to tell Mark, it was over. He was so depressed, we were worried he was going to do something silly. I didn't know what to do."

"So you just fucked him better huh... Good for you Jade. Well, from now on, you can fuck him as much as you want. I'm leaving tomorrow, and you're not coming with."

"Dillon, please. You have to give me a chance to fix this. I fucked up I know I did. But let me fix it."

"I gave you that chance, Jade. It's not my fault you didn't take it."

Dillon walked back into the bedroom, and started packing. Most of his stuff was already separated out. He packed the car, Jade, sat in stunned silence. It seemed like a nightmare, her fears all coming home to roost.

She wanted to say stop, to hold him, cuddle him. Explain to him. The problem was, she couldn't. It didn't make sense to her. What she did was wrong, and Dillon, was like her, stuck.

After the car was packed, she caught him, and pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry Dillon. So dreadfully sad. I never meant to hurt you, and I still love you." She buried her face in his neck, the tears wetting his shirt.

"You sure as hell have a strange way of showing it, Jade. Maybe in some weird twisted way you do love me. Fuck knows, because I don't."

"Don't give up on us babe, please. I know you're angry, and I understand why, but please leave a space in your heart for me. We can still make this work."

"I don't know, Jade. Maybe once we've been apart for a while. Perhaps then we can figure this shit out, but right now. I can't see it."

Their mouths met in a kiss. Why... It was impossible not to. That night, they slept together snuggled together, they cried, and kissed, eventually finding sleep.

In the morning, Dillon phoned Cass and told her to be there early. It was D day.

Dillon walked to his car, and Jade followed, her eyes red and puffy. There's only so many tears you can shed. She was all cried out. They had agreed overnight. Jade would look after the cottage, and sort everything out.

It had been a hard discussion to have, but they got through it. Jade thought she was ready for the day, but the moment was upon them and she couldn't do it. She broke down, her sobs quickly turned into hysterics

The hugs helped, but it was like the death of everything she held dear.

Olivia was surprised to see Jade,] but the moment she saw her, she rushed into her arms. "Oh no, Jade, honey. I'm sorry." They hugged intensely. "I take it that Dillon, didn't take the news well?"

"He's gone, and told me not to follow."

"Good lord, he didn't see?"

Jade shook her head. "No, I don't blame him."

"Jade, it's different. Everything you told me about me about Dillon, made me think that he's an empathetic person. Surely he could understand what happened?"

"No, I don't blame him Olivia. How do you make somebody believe you love them, as well as somebody else? I'm not sure I understand it myself... A year ago, I would have called bullshit. Now, I see the world differently."

"You still love Dillon, though?"

"Yes, more than ever."

"But you love Mark, as well?"

"Yes, perhaps love, is the wrong word. You know, we use it as a catch all sometimes. I love my parents, I love my job. What Dillon, and I shared was all encompassing. What I share with Mark, is not the same, but I still care deeply for him. We share a connection, an attraction that extends past friendship. I call it love, but maybe it's something else."

"No, I understand what you are saying. I hope you are able to save what you had. What are your plans now?"

"I dunno, finalise the lease on the cottage, put our stuff in storage. I want to try and get Mark, back into a good space. I was going to say. I would stay a month, and then hopefully he will have his album finished and be on the road. I'm sure once he realises other people will love him, want him, desire him. He can let me go."

"Jade, honey, that may never happen, he is besotted with you. I fear that he will just fall back in that horrid darkness."

"I can try, I will be here every day for him, help him back up."

Olivia, hugged her again. "Thank you Jade. We do appreciate it. He said he's not going into the studio today."

"Like hell. If he wants me to stay, he's gotta put the effort in."

Jade stormed into Marks flat yelling. "Get dressed, we're gonna be late."

"I'm not going any fucking where." He snarled.

She sat in front of him on the bed, held his shoulders and glared at him. "I destroyed my marriage for you. I'm here, and Dillon, has gone. Do you understand?"

Mark winced at her biting words, but nodded.

"My marriage is toast. Dillon, hates me, and I did that for you. So get fucking dressed. We're late enough as it is."

Mark moved slowly, pulling on clothes, and tidying himself up. "I'm sorry, Jade. I never wanted to mess up your marriage."

"Mark, it is to late for that. Dillon's, gone. You need to prove to me, I did the right thing by staying."

He grimaced. "You won't regret it, Jade. I love you so much."

"Then prove it. Make the best blasted album the world has ever seen. Show me, you care, that you want to be the best person you can be."

On the drive in to the studio, they talked. He asked about her plans, what the future held. It was a hard conversation. She wasn't entirely honest, he wasn't strong enough yet, but she hoped within the month. He would be able to say goodbye.

The studio session was awesome. Again Jade got lost in watching Mark perform, She enjoyed the atmosphere in the control booth. Watching the techs. It was intriguing.

The drive home was again filled with joyous conversation and laughter. Mark was again elevated by the music. He seemed stronger, and more in charge.

They were late pulling into the driveway at Mark's parents place. Olivia saw them arrive, and rushed out to meet them.

Jade saw the elation on her face as she talked to Mark about the session. She turned her focus to Jade. "Do you want to stay for dinner Honey? It won't be much fun going home to an empty house."

"Yes, please... Stay with us." Mark pleaded.

The dinner was nice, sitting around the table. Olivia and Peter were ebullient. Mark joined in talking about the recording, and how the engineers added tracks and instrumentation to his songs. Gave them new life, and brought them to life."

After dinner, Jade hugged them all, but as she was getting ready to leave. Mark held her extra tight. "Don't go, stay the night, please, I'm begging. I want to go to sleep in your arms, wake up together."

It wasn't what Jade had planned, but she could see the burning hunger in Mark's eyes. Olivia was right. She wasn't looking forward to returning to the cottage alone, and empty.

"Yeah, okay. First I have to call Dillon, and make sure he made it."

*****

"Hey." Dillon, said quickly, holding the phone close to his ear.

"Hey to you. Did you make it to Christchurch okay?" Jade asked.

"Yeah, it was an awesome trip. The ferry crossing was smooth as. The drive down was great as well."

"Sweet, what's your hotel like?"

"Fucking awesome. I have never stayed in anything like it. Four stars, and it's got everything. I'm going down to soak in one of their spa pools after dinner."

"Wow, sounds choice. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm doing okay. I don't know what else to say. I'm hurting inside. I feel betrayed and abandoned."

"Christ, I'm sorry, Dillon. Shit I wish we could go back in time."

"No, not an option. We have to move forward. Are you at home?"

She flinched, words refusing to come...

Dillon sniggered. "Figures, oh well, have a nice fuck..." He disconnected the call. He hated that this brought out such shitty sentiments from him. He hated being bitter and jealous. He had promised himself he wouldn't get angry, but there she was spending the night with that bastard. Their marriage in tatters.

He left her behind, she could hardly complain, but all those emotions, the stab wounds of her words so raw.

Jade broke down, and fell into a heap on the back porch. Olivia heard her sobs, and rushed out. She saw Jade's phone, flashing in her hand and realised what must have happened. She sat beside her and pulled her into her arms. "There, there, baby. Shush, let out the tears."

"Dillon, hate's me." She sobbed.

"No, he's angry, and confused. He probably said things he didn't mean. Maybe give him a few days. Time honey, give him time. Should I drive you home?"

Jade winced, she felt embarrassed. "No, I was going to stay with Mark."

Olivia held her tighter. "That's lovely, I know he will love that. You don't have to be embarrassed, Jade. We understand your predicament. You will always be welcome here."

Dillon ate in the hotel restaurant, and as promised. Spent a wonderful hour soaking in one of the hotel spa pools. He was still trying to work our menu's in his head. He must have watched a thousand video clips on plate presentations, and wines. That was one element he didn't understand. Wine, he had never been a connoisseur. His palette probably wasn't sophisticated enough.

He laughed. It was something he had previously laughed off as pretentious snobbery. Now he was going to be forced into accepting it.

The drive down to Queenstown was fantastic, the old Magna gave him a few scares, with over four hundred thousand Kilometres on the clock. She wasn't going to last much longer.

The scenery was epic. Huge lakes, high country tussock land. Deep river gorges, forest, mountains still covered in snow.

Truly beautiful, were the words that sprung to mind.

Queenstown itself was a stunning little place. Now classified as a city, it had an international airport. People travelled from around the globe to enjoy the beauty of the area. It was dubbed the adventure playground of New Zealand. It had everything. Skiing, bungee jumping, ballooning, white water rafting, canoeing, mountain trails for mountain biking. The lakes, it had everything.

Now He was going to be expected to run one of the most famous kitchens in the country. Suddenly, he felt less confident. His self doubt clouding his mind. "What the fuck was I thinking?" He admonished himself.

"You can't do this."

With those doubts weighing him down. He walked into the lobby of the Marteen hotel, and asked to meet with Leon.

The receptionist looked at him as if he was nothing more than a speck of dust. She rang Leon, and was surprised when he said he'd be right there.

She was even more surprised when Leon introduced them to Dillon. "He is the new chef."

Leon got a key and led him up to what was going to be Dillon's new home. If the hotel in Christchurch stunned him. This took his breath away. The huge glass sliding doors looked out over Lake Wakitipu, the Remarkable's crowning the vista.

The suite was like something he had only seen in movies. Everything glistened, quartz bench tops, marble tiles, high end finishes. Luxurious carpet. When they walked into the bedroom, it was vast. A huge king sized bed dominated, but there was a walk in closet, an amazing en suite.

Leon, let him take it all in before handing him the key card. "Don't get up early tomorrow. Have a sleep in, and then wander down to the kitchen. I'll introduce you to the team. Later, if you're up for it. I'll be having dinner in the restaurant. Come down and eat with me. We can discuss things and make sure we've got a plan."

Jade felt so conflicted. On one hand she was ecstatic that Mark had made such huge strides forward. Staying the night with him felt like the right thing to do.

On the other hand, was the black grief and sorrow. Her lover, best friend, husband was in a distant place, and he was hurting. The pain caused by her actions. It ripped her asunder. Her heart pulled in two different directions.

It was like living two separate lives. She tried to stay upbeat around Mark. Seeing his happiness did raise her spirits, it simply didn't take away the pain she felt inside.

Dillon went down to eat dinner with Leon who was there with his wife Jasmine. They had a pleasant meal, filled with conversations around what sort of menu Dillon was planning. They talked about the people, the good and the bad.

Leon knew Dillon had no experience, and he had taken a huge risk in bringing Dillon, down here. However, there was something about him. Leon felt he had chosen well. Dillon was a clever guy, and was much more than just a good chef.

The hurdle would be getting him to believe he was good enough.

"Hey, Dillon." Jade's soft voice echoed from Dillon's phone.

"Hey, Jade. How are you?"

"Good, just checking. I was scared the Magna might break down in the middle of nowhere on you."

"Nah, she was great, still another hundred thou left in her I reckon."

Jade laughed at his statement. "Yeah right." After a brief pause, she asked. "Are you okay, Dillon?"

"Yeah, the place is amazing. I'll take some photos and email you. I'm telling yah. It's unbelievable. The bloody restaurant is huge."