A Discouraging Word

***

The Wednesday evening before my vacation was scheduled to actually begin on Saturday was a busy evening at the Barbecutie Pit with people coming in a relatively steady stream until shortly before 7 and then picking back up again a little after 8. You could always tell when the Baptist church's 7 o'clock service let out; since it was just a couple of blocks down the street, several couples usually came in to eat afterward, with the men usually fixated on my rack instead of the ones on their plates and the women all-too-knowingly thinking of how they'd get their reward for their husband's wandering eyes later in the evening.

Since most of the women knew me from high school or around town and knew that I'd never cheat with a married man, they were good with "look, don't touch" as long as their man did his job with them later on, and I was happy with the bigger tips that resulted.

It was about 9:30 that evening when the front door opened and my friends Alan and Nessa Sizemore from up in Bettleys Corners walked in. We'd gotten to know each other fairly well over the past couple of years since they'd met, and they'd actually been married for almost the last nine months of that. However, I'd missed seeing them for the past couple of months or so and now it hit me like a brick wall that Nessa must have spent about half of her married life with Alan pregnant. Showing well, she had to be at least four or five months along, maybe even further.

I went up to greet them grinning like an opossum eating a persimmon and Nessa was grinning back at me like she'd had two before I gave her a careful hug and we kissed each other's cheek.

"Somebody's been biz-zy," I teased before pulling back, "and nobody told me or posted about it online."

This caused her to laugh and Alan, surprisingly, to turn a bit red. Not wanting to lose the advantage, I gave him a hug and kissed his cheek, too, while winking at Nessa. Trying to keep from laughing, she gave her funny little snort "I don't snort" laugh as Alan struggled to regain his composure. I cut him off once, shortly before he met Nessa, when he was about to ask me for a date, and Nessa always chuckled about that, too, especially when Alan was trying to keep from recalling it.

Letting him off the roasting spit, I said, "Seriously, congratulations, guys! When are you due?"

Nessa gave me the details, telling me that they were only starting to tell people now that she couldn't hide it anymore and that they were planning to announce it on social media over the weekend. This gave Alan a few moments to return to his normal gorgeous color. Remembering the time he tried to ask me out, if only he hadn't been from Bettleys Corners, I would have probably married him before Nessa arrived in the picture.

Or at least I'd have tried!

"So what brings you to town so late this evening?" I asked. B.C. was a good 30 minutes up the road and they usually only came in on the weekend.

"Bad news," said Alan. "Uncle Horace is in the hospital."

That hurt, hitting me unexpectedly. Of course, the sweet old man had to be close to a hundred but still...

"What happened? Is he okay? He wasn't alone, was he?" I could see him lying on the floor of his bathroom for hours like the little old lady in that horrible TV commercial.

"He'll be fine, and they'll let him leave in a few days. He was at the lodge helping some of the ladies put up decorations for the Independence Day party this weekend when he missed the bottom step on the ladder, fell, and broke his arm."

"He was on a ladder?" I moaned, wondering why the ladies would have been stupid enough to let him get on the ladder. Then again, they do live in Bettleys Corners.

Nessa gave me Uncle Horace's room number before they paid their bill and headed out. On hearing of my upcoming vacation, they smiled at each other and then each of them gave me a tip and told me to have fun.

Both tips were big...really big.

"This is too much, guys," I said, shaking my head. The total was almost five times the cost of their meal.

Nessa shook her head and whispered to me, "Then Alan's is the tip for excellent service, and mine's the thank you for turning him down when you had the chance to snag him." A bit louder where Alan could hear, she added, "Have a great time, Sophie, and we'll see you when you get home."

***

The hospital lady told me by phone that Uncle Horace wasn't on dietary restrictions, so I'm not sure if his eyes lit up more on seeing me or the bag in one hand and the carrier with two drinks in the other.

"Ah, the ever-lovely Sophia! What a surprise! And she comes bearing gifts? Is that what I think it is?"

"Alan and Nessa said the hospital was holding you prisoner here so I came for a visit since I can't break you out. There was a choice between flowers to brighten your room and food to brighten your tummy..."

"Don't tell Nessa but I always told Alan you're as smart as you are beautiful because, unless there are tiny little flowers in that bag, you chose wisely, very wisely. With the food they serve in this popsicle stand, I'm about to starve."

Grinning, I went over and kissed his forehead before pulling the table up the bed so he could reach it better. Moments later, he sighed on seeing me open the carryout box for him. "Barbecutie Pit pulled pork! Sophia, if you were a bit older, dear, I'd ask you to marry me."

Mom and Dad had named me Sophie instead of Sophia like people that name their kids Bob instead of Robert or Toni instead of Antoinette, so I'd corrected Uncle Horace on it after he'd called me Sophia the first few times when he'd come into the Pit with Alan. I'll never forget his reply.

"Sweetheart, Sophia makes you sound more like the beautiful princess I see you as, so please, indulge this old man and let me honor you with it...particularly if you're going to keep calling me Uncle Horace even though we're not related."

He'd winked at me on saying the last part, and I had to acknowledge he made a very good point. Therefore, I became Sophia to him and he remained Uncle Horace to me, even in the relatively rare instance when I saw him without Alan being around. Becoming friends, we often flirted a bit, like his "if only" marriage proposal. But two can play that game.

"Uncle Horace, if I were a bit older and you were a bit younger, I might take you up on that," I teased back.

He chuckled and whispered, "Dear, if that were the case, I don't know if we'd be talking about, ahem, actual marriage." The way he said it and the way he raised his bushy eyebrow caused me to blush when I realized the implication of his suggestion before we both burst out laughing.

Grinning at me, he waved toward the food and we started eating. He was right-handed which made eating a bit difficult considering he'd cracked one of the bones in his right forearm. He was hungry though, so he got by and he gave a contented sigh when he was done. I stood up and collected his trash before sitting on the very edge of his bed facing him.

"Thanks for bringing this, Sophia. You really are an angel even if you're usually just a princess in my mind. So, are you heading off to work?"

"Not for another hour, then tomorrow, I'm doing an early shift and heading our for vacation for two weeks when I get off."

"Really? Where are you going? With that young man of yours? What's his name? Brad? Brat?" He snickered at his joke, possibly forgetting that he'd used it before.

Or then again, possibly not.

"Bart and I broke up, Uncle Horace, so I'm going to see my brother Ron in Wichita and then to Dallas to see my sister Sue and her family before heading on down to the beach for some much-needed rest and relaxation."

"Ahh! A summer road trip to the beach! There's nothing like it. My friend Delmer Owens and I did that once upon a time back in the 60s. That was...."

His eyes told me he was in that long-ago time, reliving it, if just for a moment, and the smile that formed told me it was a very happy memory.

"Sir, want to tell me about it?"

He looked back at me and his eyes focused on mine. "No, sweetheart, you don't need to hear a silly tale of a silly man who didn't know what love was or how precious it was when one finds it."

I reached across and took his good hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. "Uncle Horace, it might seem silly but it sounds like there may be a good lesson in there somewhere. Are you sure you don't want to tell it?"

"Well, if you insist," he said with a hint of a smile. Uncle Horace was a natural storyteller, true tales or tall, I was never sure, so he spent the next twenty-something minutes telling me about him and his friend Delmer taking Delmer's van to California one summer. Basically camping out with the van, they stayed out there for most of two months, meeting a number of people along the way, but one name, Clarissa, stood out.

"Uncle Horace, this Clarissa? Tell me about her?"

A pained look flashed on his face for a moment before his features eased and he was back to his usually craggy, lined self. "Clarissa Beaumont. She was—present company excepted, of course, the prettiest young lady I ever met," he whispered, "and the sweetest. We spent a lot of time together, fell in love, and were even talking about the future when things fell apart. If I'd been smarter, maybe been...more—flexible?—we might have had a chance, but I wasn't and her parents made sure that she wouldn't be...."

He trailed off, a tear streaming down his cheek, so I moved up and gave him a hug before lightly kissing his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Horace," I whispered. "What happened?"

Still hugging me, he replied, "When we left for the trip home, I had hope that, well, maybe, things would change and work out, but that was in the days before all these new-fangled gadgets like cell phones and texting, and Facebook and that Tweeter thing, so we lost touch and never saw each other again. I've always regretted that, even to this day...."

He was done then and, with a sniffle, he patted my back three light times with his good hand before leaning back against his pillow.

"Have a great trip, Sofia, and whatever you do, come back smiling and with no regrets."

***

Okay, I admit that I'm a bit of a romantic sometimes.

While at work later that afternoon, I came up with this great idea to find Uncle Horace's Clarissa Beaumont that night after work. I finished up quickly and scampered home.

After an hour online that night, I continued searching on Friday morning, but there was no one that seemed even close to being a possibility of being the right Clarissa. Since it had been well over fifty years, I shouldn't have been surprised, but it was still disappointing, not even taking into consideration that she probably had married, had a whole bunch of kids, and had long forgotten Horace before he ever even became an uncle or, in Alan's case, great uncle.

While disappointed that I couldn't find her, it was, in truth, probably for the best for all parties, allowing her to keep her privacy, assuming she wasn't already pushing up daisies, and Uncle Horace to hang onto his old fantasy without it being shattered by present realities.

I sighed and shut down the laptop, packing it away for the trip and headed to work for a short shift.

***

As soon as I got off work at 2, I rushed home, threw everything in my RAV4 and drove the few blocks over to Sprucedale to deliver Twinkles, my kitten, to my mom's house. I spent about twenty minutes with Mom, Deke, and Wally before giving them all a kiss and heading out with mom-baked care packages for Ronny and for Sue and her family.

The boys had actually begged to go with me but fortunately I'd talked to Mom about that when I originally asked her about going with me. In addition to needing some time alone, I couldn't be responsible for them on a beach where there would be young women running around in bikinis that would probably make mine look tame. While I run regularly to stay in shape and have done a number of Creek City 5K Dashes with Mom over the years, I make sure my puppies are strapped down well in a heavy-duty running bra and, after seeing Kate Upton run in a bikini in a movie, I'll never again do it in a bathing suit, especially not chasing after my brothers!

They made one last, futile attempt to convince me to take them with me that afternoon as I was leaving before Mom cut them off with a stare. After hugs and goodbye kisses, they returned to their video game while Mom walked me out to my car and gave me a big hug.

She looked rather serious as she said, "You have a great time, Sophie, and think about what we talked about, okay?"

A kiss, another hug, and I got in, ready to go, as Mom said, "Drive safely, Honey, call me every day, and we'll see you in two weeks."

***

"Little Sister! You made it!" exclaimed Ronny as he came out to greet me at his apartment in Wichita. "Did you have a good trip?"

I frowned at him for just a second before breaking out in a grin. "I think I may have hit the tail end of rush hour traffic here, but it's always a good trip when I get to see you at the end," I told him as I gave him a big hug.

Our big sister, Sue, is almost two years older than me, but she was always a little like Marsha Brady to my Jan, with me feeling like an also-ran and being a bit too envious of her looks, her grades, and, in high school and the first couple of years that followed, her success with the boys. With Ronny being 18 months behind me and then a several year gap between him and our four younger brothers, we ended up being closer, but since I was younger and a bit smaller than Sue, I was always his "Little Sister" despite being older than he was. When he hit puberty and 5'-10", almost six inches taller than me, the term took on new meaning and remained.

We talked for a little while, with him telling me about his new girlfriend, and me trying desperately to avoid telling him of my spiraling love life. Unfortunately, Ronny knows me better than anyone other than Mom and possibly Carol and he could see the discouragement I was trying to hide.

"What is it, Sis? Still grieving over Bart? Don't. I'm telling you, that's the smartest move you've made in a long while."

"Yeah, but it doesn't feel all that good going all the way back to the starting line."

"Ah! You're not, and you're not looking at it right. You're not going back to the start, you've taken a detour that keeps you from ending up in a fiery crash-and-burn."

I crashed sideways against him there on the couch, ending with a muted "Kaa-boom."

Ronny laughed and put his arm around my shoulders, and gave me a squeeze. "I know you probably won't want to hear this, Sis, but now's a great time to make a change. Bart's done, Deke's graduated and will be off to college in a few weeks, and Mom can handle Wally with one hand tied behind her back. Why don't you pack up and leave Creek City and Ashanti County? Just leave it all behind. Go make a life for yourself somewhere else. You could even finish college, get your degree, and move on."

I'd been thinking along those lines, but that was just one of a number of options, so I nodded, more to get him to stop than in actual agreement, but that may have encouraged him further. "Say, Wichita State's got some great programs you can look at and you can live here with me if you'd like. The back bedroom just has my weightlifting stuff and a bunch of boxes. Or else, if you want to get away completely, go somewhere else, and do something...different? Just don't let yourself be trapped in a rut without options. Okay?"

I nodded again, even less half-heartedly but promising to think about it, just like everything else in my life. I even pulled up the Wichita State webpage and started taking a look at it, more for show than anything else, but he smiled.

***

Saturday, July 2nd

Since Jasmine, "Ron's" current girlfriend, had to work on Friday evening, we went to breakfast. She was nice and pretty, but I suspected current was just a passing phase with them and one or the other would move on before long. Since he'd already invited me to live with him, I suspected that he knew it, too, so each of us pretended that everything was all hunky-dory with themself and everyone else, and we had a nice meal together.

As we were leaving the restaurant, he told her that he'd be over later in the morning after I left. Their kiss made me rethink my earlier evaluation and made me think how I could use some of that, too, if I could find the right guy.

He was back to Ronny when we got back to his apartment, and we talked until it was time for me to leave for Sue's.

***

It's a six-hour drive from Ron's in Wichita to Sue and Bill's in the Dallas suburbs. I became more nervous about the reception I'd receive as I got closer to their home.

After a warm welcome and some time with the family, the part I dreaded arrived. Sue got me alone and almost immediately started in on me, giving me a hard time about Bart and, in general, about wasting my life.

"You need to go to the beach, find a good-looking hunk, get fucked until you see stars a few times, and put Bart behind you. And then move on. You're what? Four or five semesters from finishing your degree? Do it, get a good teaching job, and you'll be set."

"Sue, slow down. You're trying to map my whole life out for me, but I'm not you. I'm thinking about the degree, but the rest? I don't want to do that."

"Sophe, you have to do something. Showing your tits off at that restaurant isn't going to get you ahead in life. Not in the long term, anyway."

That pissed me off. "Susie, I'll have you know that I own my home, making monthly payments just like you and Bill do, and I've owned it for a lot longer than you've owned one. You rented that house in Oregon, remember?"

She blanched but I wasn't done. "I save money every month and put some in my retirement fund, so don't come off at me as holier-than-thou. No, I don't want to work at the Pit forever, but I make a lot in tips and I don't have to fuck anybody or get knocked up to do it."

She went from pale to bright red when I included that last part. It was a family secret that we were holding from the boys and anyone else, and my bringing it up, even though no one else was around, was probably crossing the line.

"Fuck you, Sophie. Flash your tits, earn some tips."

This pissed me off even more. Sue had built a reputation before she met Bill and I'd been the one who had to live with it, and counter it, when she was gone. My boobs were bigger than hers so some of the guys she'd known thought that I'd be easy like her, and I'd had to put them in their place. Sometimes it wasn't easy.

"Sue, you know I don't sleep with a guy on the first date like some people."

"Maybe if you did sometimes, you wouldn't be such a tight-ass. You'd enjoy yourself more and maybe even find what you're missing."

"I don't think so, Marsha, and doubt that anything I found like that would be worth it."

Steam was almost coming out of her ears when I played the Marsha Brady card, which made me snicker despite feeling more than a little like Jan. This caused her to snicker, too, and pretty soon we were hugging and apologizing.

"I really do just want what's best for you, Sophe, whatever that is."

"I know, Susie, but give me some time to figure it out, okay, and don't push me into anything I don't want."

"Okay, but I'm telling you that a good fucking might make you see straighter...though a really good one actually might not."

I got the innuendo but her attempt at crossing her eyes left me laughing out loud and then her with me.

It was what we needed to defuse the situation the rest of the way, and Sue concluded by telling me, "Just remember, you go to the beach for some sun and for a good fuck or two—or if you're lucky, twenty—but nobody ever falls in love at the beach and has it last. I know you, Sophie, you're a romantic at heart and you might think you've found something, but don't fall for it. Get your jollies and leave it behind when you head home, taking some good memories but no last names, no addresses, no phone numbers, and nothing else. And please, please don't give out any info either; I promise, and this is experience talking, you'll be sorry if you do."