A Family Ritual

I woke to the chiming of my phone. I pressed snooze and closed my eyes again. It had been hard to get to sleep last night. I had been agitated. Part excitement, part worry. Today was the day. But all I wanted to do right now was to pull the covers over my head and nap. Some chance!

My door burst open and the twins cheery voices announced their arrival. They were older than me, but seldom acted that way, Ella in particular. "Wake up, sleepyhead. Today's the day." They spoke together, people sometimes found it unnerving, but I was used to it.

"No. Just ten more minutes. I'm so tired."

Bella pulled the covers off and Ella started to tickle me. "Oh look, baby Tiff is ticklish."

Tiff was short for Tiffany. I'd never been too fond of my name. But Mom had given it to me, and it was one of the few things I had to remember her by. I had been a toddler when she left. The twins were five years older and even their recollections of her were dim. The only family member that knew Mom well was Liz. Liz was our big sister and twenty-nine now. I guess she was the head of the family.

Dad? Liz said he never got over Mom leaving. My memories of him were all sad ones. Alcohol on his breath. Yelled expletives. Him passed out on the couch. Drink had taken Mom's place, but it had proved to be an even worse life partner. His death certificate stated, 'myocardial infarction,' but it was the drink that had done for him. Drink and depression. Which left the four of us to fend for ourselves.

I'd been seven at the time of the funeral. Liz had been the same age that I had reached today, eighteen. That had been old enough. Old enough to take charge of the three of us. I'd often wondered why social services had not intervened. Then, out where we lived, the writ of the Government was weak. Almost as if they didn't care. Or, more likely, that we were simply off the radar.

Liz was left to raise her siblings. To do her best to keep us fed and dressed and warm. She'd done what she had to do. Now it was my turn to help out. Just as Bella and Ella had begun to do five years earlier.

I'm probably painting our lives as too grim. It wasn't really like that. We had each other. Liz, and then the twins, made sure we wanted for nothing. At least nothing we really needed. I had an iPhone for fuck's sake; sure an old model and pre-owned, but it worked. We were close, a happy family. Today I knew I was going to get even closer with my sisters, as a precursor to getting closer to other people. As a precursor to helping to pay our way in the world.

I slept nude and thought nothing of getting out of bed like this. We had all seen each other naked many times before. But I knew today was different. As I was searching for my clothes, I felt a hand on my butt. Turning, I saw Ella stroking my skin.

Bella spoke up. "Ella, not now. What would Liz say?"

Ella ignored her. "But I've been looking forward to this for so long. Tiff is the prettiest after all. Why shouldn't we enjoy her?"

"Hey, I'm here you know. Your little sis, not a new toy."

Ella smiled at me, with something else behind her grin. "Oh you're going to be a toy alright."

Bella stepped forward and pulled her twin away. "Leave her be. Later, OK."

She mouthed a "sorry" at me as she steered Ella out of my room.

I told myself it was just Ella. She was like that. But I also knew that her touch had done something to me. Made me feel different. Stealthily, I walked to the door and quietly slid the bolt across. I surely had a little time before they bothered me again. It was my birthday after all.

Still nude, I looked at myself in the full-length mirror. Pretty? Well maybe. There was a certain symmetry to my face. Broken by the hordes of dark freckles that covered my nose and cheeks. My hair was flame red. It never gave me any trouble, seemingly knowing just how to coil over my shoulders.

I turned sideways, the signs of womanhood were obvious in my swelling breasts, tipped with large, soft, dark areolae. Just looking at myself was enough for my nipples to begin to contract. A toned body. Not from exercise, from work. Work we all had to do around the house, and on the surrounding land.

The meager crops we grew didn't bring in enough cash to survive, but they put food on our own plates. Same with the poultry. Tending to our vegetables could be back-breaking work, but it was certainly good for the abs.

Turning face on again, a darker shade of red clung between my thighs. I bit my lip and slipped a hand past the hairs and lower, watching what I was doing in the mirror. My digits touched a fold of fleshy skin and rolled it left and right, sending shivers through me. With my left hand, I pulled it back. I brought my right hand to my mouth and then down to the little nub I had revealed.

Now I closed my eyes, wanting to imagine. As my fingers pressed and circled, I visualized it being Ella who was setting my senses alight. My sister kneeling in front of me, grasping my butt-cheeks, and pulling me onto her exploring tongue.

That felt really nice. I moved my right hand further down, encountering sticky, warm wetness. As I slipped a finger joint-deep inside, I grasped the fullness of a breast with my left hand. I thought of Bella stood behind me, her arms enveloping me and an mound of flesh in either hand, kneading and squeezing.

I felt my emotions surge and heat rising in me. But I had left the best image to last. I opened my mouth and thought of Liz's lips on mine. Her tongue in my mouth. Her hands pulling my face towards her. And that finished me. Half a yelp escaped my lips as my body tensed and throbbed over and over again.

Opening my eyes, I brought my now soaked right hand to my lips and tasted my own excitement. And today was the day. Today was the day that my sisters helped me to become fully a woman. I felt a void in my stomach. Excitement, or hunger? Maybe both. I got dressed quickly and went down to join my family for breakfast.

"What was that noise, Tiff? Sounded like you were strangling a cat in your room." This from Ella.

"Noise? You must be hearing things, Ella." I sat down, aware that my cheeks were trying to accessorize my hair.

"Happy birthday, Tiffany." Liz never used the contraction, it was always my full name. I loved her for that. She kissed my cheek. Like she had so many times before in greeting, but today it felt different. The warmth between my legs began to return. Trying my best to ignore it, I poured myself a coffee and took a seat. Liz put a plate of eggs, with a slice of toast, in front of me.

Sitting at table, it struck me yet again that, with the obvious exception of the twins, we didn't look massively like sisters. Ella and Bella were blondes. Liz's hair was a deep chestnut. None of them had freckles, and our skin tones varied. The joke was that Mom had many lovers. I had no idea if there was any truth to it. Our sizes were also disparate. The twins were kinda average, me noticeably below that, Liz noticeably above. Only our eyes showed our true kinship, all emerald green, just like photos of Mom.

Liz joined us, bringing her own breakfast. "So, sis, how are you doing? You OK? I know it's a big day."

I nodded while finishing a mouthful of food. "I'm good. A little nervous, but also kinda excited."

"It will be OK, little one. Right, you two?"

Ella waved a hand, and didn't stop shoveling food into her face. But Bella replied. "It's fine. It's all fine. We'll take care of you."

We focused on finishing our meal. I was spared washing up duties as it was my special day. But I still had other chores. The ritual was scheduled for mid-afternoon and the chickens weren't going to feed themselves.

I wasn't talkative at lunch, and it seemed my vibe had infected my sisters. We sat in silence. Then Liz finally spoke. "It's nearly time, Tiffany. Bella has run you a bath. Why don't you go and get nice and relaxed?"

Her mouth still full of food, Ella added, "and make sure you wash your ass, OK?"

Ignoring Ella, I nodded at Liz and headed for the bathroom. Bella had put out candles, though summer sun was also streaming through the window. Essential oils filled my nostrils and bathed my senses. Calming notes of lavender and sandalwood. I undressed and lowered myself into the warm water. My mind was racing and my body wired. I closed my eyes and let my head dip under the surface. 'It will be OK, it will be OK.'

I'd finished washing and was considering whether or not to do my hair when the door opened. Liz's head appeared around it. "Is it OK if I come in?"

"Sure. I'm nearly done."

Liz came and sat next to me on a stool. "Your hair needs a wash, shall I?"

That sounded lovely. "Yeah, if you don't mind."

My sister shampooed my already wet hair and spoke gently to me as she massaged my scalp. "I know it's hard, angel, but there's no other way. We've got no proper schooling, no qualifications. Just the bits and pieces I've tried to teach you all. And it's not like I'm an expert."

"I know, sis. You don't have to explain. I know how it is."

Liz started to wash the soap away. "It bears repeating though. The World is a hard place. If we are gonna survive, there is just one thing in our favor. Men. Men who have needs. There's no shortage of them."

I continued the speech that I had heard so many times before. "And we need to provide for each other, to take care of each other in whatever way we can."

"That's right, Tiffany, even if it's hard, unpleasant at times. It's for all of us. I'd never ask you to do anything that I wouldn't do, haven't done. But I'm nearly thirty now. Age is not in my favor. Whereas you..."

"I know, Liz, new blood. I get it. I'm ready to do my bit for the family."

Liz stroked my cheek. "But you need to know that what you do... what you do with guys... what we all need to do... isn't love, it's business. Today is about real love. Today is something to hold on to when it gets tough... and it will get tough. It's about knowing that you are part of something and that making love can be a beautiful thing not just a source of cash."

I nodded. "I think I'm ready. Why don't you go wait for me?"

Liz bowed and kissed the top of my head. "Sure. Take your time. We'll be ready when you are."

I didn't bother to dress again, I knew clothes would be superfluous. Naked, I padded towards the big bedroom, Mom and Dad's bedroom. No one slept here, and it was seldom visited. Each of us still had the rooms we had grown up in. Feeling a little foolish, I knocked on the door. Liz's voice bade me enter.

My sisters were gathered around the large bed, wearing bath robes. I was suddenly very aware of my nakedness.

As ever, Liz took the lead, speaking softly. "Come in, Tiffany. Take a seat."

She motioned to a wooden chair at the foot of the bed and I sat.

Liz smiled at me and spoke in a clearer tone now. "Today we celebrate our beloved sister passing into womanhood. We all know that this means it is time for her to begin to contribute to the family. I believe that she understands and is ready. But today is about more. It's about sharing the wonder of sexuality with her. It's about her first time being safe and full of love. The love of those closest to her, her family."

I bowed my head as I listened. Her words were so familiar to me. My response was rehearsed. "I'm ready."

Liz continued. "But, my darling sister, this is also about something else. Something I have shielded you from, but which it is your right to know."

I looked up, something in my eldest sister's voice caused a coldness to form in my chest. What was this about?

"My first time was also in this room. Many years ago. After Mom had left. After the drinking had started."

She paused. Liz was normally so controlled, so calm. A she spoke now, her voice brought to mind nothing more than a scared child.

"My first time was none of the things I want for you, Tiffany. That I wanted for Bella and Ella. It was terrifying, it was violent, it was a betrayal, it nearly destroyed me."

As Liz spoke, her speech wavered and tears rolled down her cheeks. Both of the twins moved to her, placing a hand on either shoulder.

Brushing away the tears, Liz looked me directly in the eye. "Your father, our father, wasn't just a drunk. He was a rapist, a filthy rapist. I know this is hard to hear, but it is your right to know. I want things to be different for you. I need things to be different for you. I need you to know the joy of human intimacy, not its darkness. Not that."

I leaped from my seat and threw my arms around my sister. "I knew, even as a child, I think I somehow knew. His passing must have been a blessing for you."

Liz held me close. "It was. I loved him, but not what he became, not what he did to me. I took some comfort in it just being me he violated, it helped just a little."

Spontaneously, I kissed her. Then again. And again. Our tears mingling as our cheeks brushed. "I love you, Liz. I love you so much."

Bella and Ella moved closer, dropping their clothing as they did. I eased Liz's robe off her shoulders and the four of us huddled together, skin against skin. Tears flowing, sharing the hurt, but also sharing sisterly tenderness.

Slowly, as we clung to each other, our closeness morphed into other feelings. Ones that gradually eased the pain, began to wash away the hurt. I felt Bella's hand stroke my back, Ella's lips on mine. Then, with a tearful smile on her face, Liz knelt and kissed each of my breasts in turn. She looked up at me and clearly sought my permission.

I nodded. I wanted this. For her, for all she had been through, and for me, knowing that the days ahead would be hard. I took her head and pulled it to me. Her lips parted and closed around a nipple, softly sucking.

Things became fluid. I was now kissing Bella and Ella in turn. Ella had slipped a hand between my thighs and begun to stroke me. The touch of another's fingers thrilled me in a way I had never experienced. I found myself moaning and sighing in between kisses. Liz moved to my second breast, her teeth gently closing on my newly hardened flesh. I began to lose myself.

Liz pulled back and I immediately missed her closeness. She looked at the twins in turn. "The bed."

Bella took my hand and led me to its edge, signaling for me to lie down. She snuggled next to me, our lips and then our tongues meeting. Ella took the other side, leaning across me to resume where Liz had left off with my nipples. And Liz herself? She lifted my knees and parted my legs, moving into the space she had created and lying down. I felt her warm breath against my skin. Once more she wordlessly sought my approval. Once more I nodded. Not trusting myself to speak. I knew I wanted her. I had always wanted her.

Bella now kissed my cheek as I stared down past Ella's head to Liz. My eldest sister smothered the inside of each thigh with kisses. Moving ever upwards to her goal. My heart was pounding, the pressure of Ella's teeth had me squirming. Then Liz's tongue touched my clit and the twins had to hold me down as feelings exploded in me.

I cried out with that first scintillating intimate contact. My body heaved. And then her tongue was in me and she became my world. I felt the twins' arms laid on me, their hands caressing me, but only dimly. What was in crystalline focus was Liz and her tongue probing my interior, making me moan, then again cry out, and then scream as I lost all control and my body convulsed, my senses hopelessly overloaded.

This was it. This is what she had wanted for me. The intoxicating nexus of sisterly love and unbearable arousal. My first orgasm had not passed before the second began to build. I pushed up off of the bed, craving her deeper, closer. Wanting the burning, tingling to last forever. Then screaming again as I let go. Let go as I never had before. Liquid spraying from me as my flesh was wracked with intolerable pleasure, and my nerves shredded with impossible stimulation.

Eyes tight shut, and still shaking from the aftershocks, I felt Liz clamber up me. The twins moved back slightly to ease her passage. I opened my lids to see my own eyes staring at me with the most immense tenderness and love. And then she kissed me, my own juices tasting so sweet. She briefly pulled back. "I love you too, Tiffany. So, so much." And then her tongue was in my eager mouth again.

As Liz kissed me, I sensed Ella moving and Liz rolled to take her place at my side, our lips still pressed together. I felt Ella's hands on my thighs and then her tongue lapping at my dripping opening. I knew that I had merely reached the end of the beginning. Who knew what heights of ecstasy and love the day would hold for me?

Endnotes

• Aside from my ill-advised first forays into writing here, when I naively thought that incest might be edgy and provocative (hah!), the subject does not captivate me, probably the opposite. I associate it with the experiences that Liz relates.
• Then, I try to stretch myself as an author, and the story is the result. I have been writing a lot of lesbian recently and this seemed a bit like an extension. Stripped of its intergenerational power dynamics, the type of sisterly incest I describe above is as far as I want to go into the area in my writing. And I doubt I will make a habit of it. I nevertheless hope that what I have come up with is respectful to the kinks of readers while reflecting my own sensibilities.