All Comments on 'A Family Ritual'

I think it's well written and thoughtful. You have tried to make it compassionate.

It's hard to read in terms of the subject matter. I don't read incest, I don't really enjoy the thought of it.

That being said it was tender, and I only read it, because you wrote it. I find your writing articulate, and intelligent and that's also built from the views you place on the forums too.

J x

The sex in this story seems more ritual than erotic. I wasn’t able to get into the characters or the plot. I’m glad you could check the incest category but if you’re not into it, that’s fine. I did understand how this sort of thing might have come about, but actual consensual activity is more enjoyable than the opposite and love does not form from confusion or misunderstanding like this. I don’t think this was really about a loving family. Just my opinion, hope it helps.

@Yesok1 - thank you. It’s so not my kink, Just had an idea that - in very specific circumstances and with no power dynamic - sisterly incest might be about solidarity. Emily

@AchtungNight - your comment doesn’t show up here for some reason. I think you misread the story (or made assumptions given the category) as everything is wholly consensual. Liz even asks permission twice. So I’m confused. Emily

A lot of depth here that I feel could have been better served with a longer treatment. Other than a a contrast, I felt Liz's story was a little out of place. The necessity of what the sisters were doing was enough and you displayed that perfectly by laying out allusions to their limited options. With the weight of what is to come and Tiff's acceptance of that, this brief scene of four sisters sharing the best of that world is quite touching. Thank you for sharing.

Incest is polarizing but we can all agree about lesbian twins!

Definitely not going to meet the expectations of many readers. And it's not gonna work for some of them.

But not every story needs to play it safe, or pander to a particular audience.

Sad yet sweet, erotic yet thought provoking.

This one's purpose isn't necessarily to stimulate the genitals, but the mind.

Good job, Em.

The background built-up was nicely constructed for a somewhat sorrowful existence. It provided the situational awareness elements of the disconnect between the family's lack of a loving relationship between the father and the daughters. However, what transpires between emotionally disconnected family members that remain feels off. The foursome relationship doesn't seem to really express a sense of love between them. It's missing something, but I can't put my finger on it. AchtungNight's comment about being ritualistic might be that.

There are hints at sex with men for the MC and that it might involve money as a family source of income. "It's about knowing that you are part of something and that making love can be a beautiful thing not just a source of cash." That's not detailed nor explained, but perhaps not necessary to the story.

Certainly, an expanded part of the twins involved in the sex scene would have been welcomed in this category.

Still, I rated this 5*.

My issue with consent wasn’t in the consent of the sex, that was fine. But it’s implied that Tiffany will be compelled to become a prostitute by the family’s poverty. That Liz manipulated her into that and is still trying to find sex positivity in the wrong way after her abuse experience. Maybe there was a misunderstanding- I’m sorry. I did not rate this work. I appreciated the tender quality of the sex, but the way it was framed just rubbed me the wrong way.

@dmallord - I increasingly leave gaps or ambiguity into which the reader can place their own interpretations. I may get this wrong, but it’s not unintentional. Emily

@AchtungNight - like any author, I can’t control what interpretations you bring to the work and what emotions these trigger. If I’ve caused things to be felt, even revulsion at the lot of some women, then I have succeeded. Emily

@djrip - you out so much thought into these, don’t you 🤣? Emily

@Djmac1031 - thanks 😊 Emily

@Shelby - I wanted Liz to have a motivation for what happens beyond just preparing Tiff for the work ahead - she wants to heal her own memories of incest, or to replace them. Emily

@Emilky,

I caught that. It was just a darker tone that the rest of the story. It was also why I suggested this might be better served with a longer tell. More family background to explain where and why the ritual began, possibly moving forward to Tiff's first encounter in the family business.

It works as it is, and I certainly wasn't complaining at all. I enjoyed the multilayering of the story and the depth worked for me, too. You made me feel the sadness and the closeness of the sister's bond. I'll stand behind my five stars for those reasons alone.

I thought it was an excellent story, Emily. It's full of tenderness and love. Yes, there's a "dark" side to it, but then life generally does have an element of that. Your story represents the power of the human spirit to doggedly search for joy even in the darkness. Well done!

@LustyScribe - it’s very gratifying when someone gets it - thank you 😊 Emily

The strength of the bond between these sisters is palpable in this tale. The losses that each have felt for so long and the punishments they have endured have cemented them together as a whole. I hope their source of income is accomplished with the minimum of anxiety and pain.

Yes, it is dark but it is also a wonderful exposition on the ability of four loving sisters to band together to survive a very hard life and some truly horrific losses and experiences.

Extremely well written, as always. But oh boy, did the line "But I've been looking forward to this for so long. Tiff is the prettiest after all. Why shouldn't we enjoy her?" make me uncomfortable to levels that I never expected to feel jumping into this one. You as the author is not responsible for the conclusions that my mind draws, but the woman has been 18 for mere hours, and "so long" sounds like.. Well.. A really long time. At least the other dark themes of the story felt quite tame to me compared to that sentence. Hehe. Good job for writing something that really digs its claws into you.

@Campus77 - thank you for understanding the center of gravity of the story. 😊 Emily

@Flamethrow - I’m glad you got what I was trying to do 😊 Emily

@Devinter - I was going for uncomfortable 😊 Emily

New here. Read your 750 word challenge and loved it, Subscribed and glad I did. I'm an exhibitionist. Thanks for writing.

@janspussy - thank you 😊 Emily

Dark and twisted and gross.

5 stars

This is a well-crafted short story. You did a good job exploring the sister's tenderness well laying out the harsh and dark realities of the world around them.

@Lovecraft_lore - yep, that was kinda my objective 😊 Emily

@PaulChance - thank you 😊 Emily

Em,

I usually don't go to the "Incest/Taboo" stories. I'm not into Father/Mother - Son/Daughter -Bother/Sister sex. But the title intrigued me, and i found the story to be touching and caring.

With Liz's trauma at the 'hands' of her drunken father, she understood that 'Love' between her remaining family can hold them together in light of doing what they have to do to survive.

The best line was that pretty much summed it up was, "It's about knowing that you are part of something and that making love can be a beautiful thing not just a source of cash."

Well Done. A 'Double' 5!!

@32aa - glad you got it. Quite a few did, though clearly not the majority. Emily

Agree with 32aa, well written. Loved the slight twist on the POV when Tiff finds out about the truth of her father.

V.

@Anon - thank you. Far from a traditional I/T story, but it’s the one I felt moved to write. Emily