All Comments on 'A Fantasy Life Ch. 2'

Totally lacking realism. You have a talk with your 18 year olds about sex and then go into the girl's bedroom and wake her up out of a sound sleep and ask her to have sex with the two of you. Totally unrealistic. The dialog lacked realism as well.

I'm sorry, this was one of the stupidest things I've ever read.

Very poor.

Let me clarify, after reading this whole 'article', I'm still unsure. The way in which this is written is most confusing! More clarification; a commentary is given while watching a Golf tournament or a Horse race, while a narrative is given while watching a Documentary such as most programmes on National Geographic. While not exactly condemning this author, this most definitely is in the wrong category; personally I feel it belongs in Siy-fi section. Looking forward to seeing what other readers think.

Having read a couple of your stories, am now left wondering if it's just your style or if it's to do with some outside influence, but cannot determine if you're writing a commentary, which is what it seems like most of the time. Now, having said that, I will definitely not be reading any more.

Writing style is very childish and begs for major editing and possible rewrite. Try again after you pass a course a course in writing 101 . . . .

Just reread this story and since the prose is so very stilted am wondering if english is possibly not your native language . . . .