All Comments on 'A Guy Called Ben Ch. 07'

Editing needs a little work...

At least 4 times on page one you sub'd Candy where you meant Buffy. At least twice on the second page.

A number of spelling errors: lent for leant, diming for dimming (LOL), stoking for stroking, and you gave the guy multiple penis' (peni? dunno) by saying he had "impressive members". "Basting" in sperm is fun (?) but I think you meant "basking" (maybe both, something not quite right). There are a few more...

And finally, if Buffy is in the UK and has an early morning Zoom with the US, she'll be calling in the middle of their night, which seems like a pretty fundamental failure to understand longitude and time zones for a business woman...UK zoom calls to the US generally start at 11am/7amUS at the earliest for the east coast, 3pm/7amUS west coast...so there will be no early hours for her...

Thanks Anonymous for reading my story. I need to tightening up the editing so thanks for your advice. It's curious you went to so much trouble in your last para trying to sort out the location of the story when the prologue clearly indicates it's in Australia. Of course that then sorts out the time difference with the US, particulalrly the East coast. I guess editing your own work requires you to read the whole story multiple times. You only need to read it once.

Enjoying this so much.

May I suggest introducing Max and Candy to administering a pussy job, which can me intensely satisfying to both parties!

Will we ever find out Buffy's size?

How busty is Buffy now? I'm dying to know.

I don't know what Buffy's size is. She won't tell me. I would try and find a discarded bra but she insists on being naked all the time. Besides her bras are probably custom made.

Wonderful seventh chapter in this series, which is the author's finest story to date (the others should be read as well). However, as stated by the author, this is not a stand-alone story. The previous chapters MUST be read first in order to make any sense out of what is happening in this chapter. It is impossible to appreciate the story as whole without doing so.

Anon comments reply @edit: I wouldn't have commented about basic editing except at some point I just lost patience and was drawn completely out of the plot flow (which is overall ok/good), frustrated by multiple concentration destroying failures of multiple types. A few homonym errors: big deal. Outright spelling weirdness or misused words: well it's your story... A couple brain farts in character names: concerning but not fatal. But cumulatively it was making the story less than literate. I tried to be specific about each because I wanted you to know that some of us read it carefully and if you were interested in concrete criticism you'd have specific things to fix in the future. I'm not type A fanatical, but it became clear that the quality of editing was beginning to punish the reader.

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As to the Aussie time zone thing, well, you were both highly specific about the problem and also contextually vague about the issue in this chapter, so read that as my failure, or consider that the story relies on readers to remember details published weeks ago that were never made clear ever again...easy fix if it is as important as it seemed to be. Personally, I was reading the story as an "everywhere but mostly America" siting, due to language specifics and realty activity, so was confused when you seemed to make it both "not America" and important to Buffy.

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good luck.

It's confusing to me, that in this fantasy story with absurd proportions and unfailing subservience, that you would put a limitation on the guy's orgasming. Even a limitation of once per day would be much more 'tolerable' as a reader.