All Comments on 'A Jock in the Machine Ch. 00'

I like the setup. Can't wait for more.

Please keep going!! Very very good, maybe a tad more detail but its fantastic.

so what happened to the jock he comes home with mom and next it is morning where did he get to and what did they do to him hopefully something really good and bad

Off to a very nice start!

So far it's amazing keep it up

Thanks, I hope you continue:)

Would love to know what she did to the jock

Hi all

Glad you're enjoying the story. I've been trying to get the second chapter published, but have had it sent back twice now, mostly due to spelling it seems. Since I've been unable to find that many jarring errors in my spelling, I'm now trying to work with the volunteer editors program. If you don't want to wait, chapters 1 and 2 are already up on other sites I use, such as archiveofourown, hentai-foundry, and futanaripalace, under the same name.

Author here.

Glad you're all enjoying the story. Chapters 1 and 2 are already done and uploaded to other sides i've published the story on, such as archiveofourown, hentaifoundry and futanaripalace. I've been working on getting it published here as well, but have been sent back twice. I've elected to use the volunteer editor program to help me edit it, but until that happens, I can't upload it here.

Ok, I went through the trouble of making an account on some futanari website to read the next 2 chapters and I was disappointed. There is barely any plot progression between the leads just her and her mother fking bullies with their 22 inches cocks. Yes, 22 inches. Wth, this isn't fantasy, keep it to reality or 12 inches. Whatever. This story has totally side tracked from the main point.

ty for the heads up will go and read the chapters on hentai foundry. Love your work keep it up

Author here, again. Promise there won't be a double post this time, I'm slowly getting the hang of Literotica commenting.

Wanted to give everybody a heads-up on the story so you don't go blindly on other sites expecting something and being let down. In hindsight, I should have done that before.

The story does indeed contain massively oversized and unrealistic penises for both Cassie and her mom. If that's not something you like, sorry, but I'm not changing it.

The plot at the start will be a little bit on the backline, and mostly conveyed through the smutty bits while still trying to keep the smutty bits extra smutty. The plan is for the whole story to take two weeks, with each chapter covering a single day, so there's more than enough time for both smut and cold hard plot. After chapters 3 and 4, there will be three chapters with zero smut whatsoever, for example.

Also, for those wishing to see Cassie and Tim together and all that, there will be a happy ending. But before that, there's a fuckload of crap that's gonna happen, some of which I'm actually dreading to write, but it's how the story goes. So if you expect every chapter to be "Hey do they get together now?' you'll be disappointed. I try my best to leave subtle hints where I can regarding what the next chapter will be about, but it's not always possible.

If there's anything you're curious about, or just anything you want to say about the story, do let me know, either here or on the sites I mentioned. Feedback has honestly been quite overwhelming and is giving me a great incentive to continue telling the story, so keep it coming!

It's me again, the author. I've reread the next chapter and edited any spelling mistakes I found with the use of spellcheckers. I've once again submitted the chapter for publishing. If it is returned again, the only things I can think of as a reason for it are the following:

1: The beyond realistic sizes of Cassie and her mom's cocks. If it's that one, I am unfortunately not going to change it. I've seen other stories here that delve well into absurd sizes, so I don't see how that can be the cause.

2. My usage of ' instead of " to punctuate dialogue. That one is more of a personal tick. It is grammatically correct in British English to punctuate dialogue like that, and since I've studied creative writing in Wales, that's how it's ingrained in my memory. If it is indeed that, I'm quite reluctant to change it as it feels wrong writing it any other way. However, This chapter got admitted despite the dialogue being done this way so it's also weird if that's the case for the next one.

Hope the chapter gets accepted, otherwise I may have to stop posting the story on here, especially since the reasons for it getting sent back are rather vague.

I wish I was cassie

Note to self: Never study creative writing in Whales.

I think you may have found the perfect, non-addictive cure for insomnia.

Great job!

Looks likes something you might find on the wall of a bathroom stall.

But much longer and less entertaining.