A Lost Daughter Ch. 24

"Don't get me wrong, my love, I am so excited to expand our family with our beautiful daughter who is now pregnant with your child. Despite knowing that there will be challenges along the way, I wouldn't dare to consider giving that future up because of how much it means to all of us. And I think Kayla getting pregnant could also be a wonderful, amazing thing that brings even more love, happiness, and yes, deliciously depraved sexual adventures into our lives. But we need to be honest with ourselves about all aspects of our decisions. Despite everything, we are the adults after all," she concluded with a joke.

I knew she was right, and perhaps I would need to do some serious soul-searching before reaching the true conclusion to the answers she had raised.

"You make good points, and I can't lie that I haven't put nearly enough thought into the 18-year responsibility of these decisions. Maybe I have a mental block because with Sienna we weren't given the opportunity to make good on that responsibility, I honestly don't know. But I'm going to think about it before I do anything rash," I replied.

"You're going to make an amazing father, whether it's one baby or two or more. And if you came in here today to get my 'permission' for moving ahead with your plan to get Kayla pregnant and turn her into a junkie mom, you've got it. If that's what you want, then I'm on-board. You know the idea turns me on too, or I wouldn't have provided the blueprint," she added.

I chuckled. Despite the unfortunate way it ended, she wasn't lying about that last part. Most of what I was drawing on to construct my fantasy were the memories I had of Amber's pregnancy with Sienna. Some of those events were burned into my consciousness forever, intermittently swimming through my mind and eliciting seemingly random erections throughout nearly two decades. I was certainly blinded to a certain extent by the prospect of getting to relive some of those memories again.

Amber was smiling at me through her reflection in the mirror, right fingers parted by the filter of her Newport 100 while holding a tube of bright red lipstick. My constantly working mind had become a sort-of meme at this point in our relationship and I knew she recognized when I was completely lost in it. I allowed her to draw me back in to the present moment with her stunning beauty.

She brought the filter of her cigarette to her lips and took a drag, performing a perfect snap inhale that resonated with a 'pop.' Then she pursed her lips seductively and began carefully painting them in a bright cherry red. After covering the outermost edges of her top and bottom lips, Amber parted them in an 'O' that allowed her access to the inner lip. At this point smoke began to cascade from her tantalizingly plump red lips in a thick fog, it's dense white contrasting starkly with the bright color of her mouth.

I could feel my stomach flutter with something I could only describe as 'love,' which swirled together from a series of emotions including lust, admiration, gratitude, awe, intense physical attraction, and a childlike wonder that probably traveled right back to the origin of my infatuation with beautiful smoking women.

As the smoke thinned out and then disappeared to reveal her perfectly painted lips set amidst the rest of her dazzlingly gorgeous face, ornamented exquisitely with expertly applied high-end cosmetics--I almost cursed myself at looking beyond my present life to a future that could hold anything more incredible than the woman who stood before me.

Even still, the gnawing darkness of my innermost degeneracy tried tugging me away towards a multitude of possibilities--each one more twisted and debased than the last. No matter which side of me won out in the end, I expected there were many more adventures ahead.

Perhaps only time would tell.