All Comments on 'A Marriage on the Rocks'

All the flip-flopping between first and third person and head-hopping sucked. Clean that up and you'll have a decent story.

Im a cuck so of course I;; take you back, becuase a spineless peice of shit like me deserves a life of misery with a cheating whore

The problem with this story: "maybe I'll want those strings again someday"...He had all the information to fuck or fuck off...To maintain their relationship in the limbo wouldn't be healthy and good for any of them...3*

They are both pieces of shit, both on the arrogant side. She’s a beautiful ho and he is a pussy ass who didn’t act like a man for over a year, not getting any from a wife you speak up or accept you are a pussy ass.

That part about the girlfriend just wants him to be happy?.....I would dump the wife and go with the girlfriend.

"Whose the bimbo, Jason?" You change POV in mid paragraph. You have a foot fetish, which is okay for those who are so inclined. I don't think most readers find kissing cute toes under the table to be erotic in any way, but I've stuck my foot in my mouth more than once. Normally, you wouldn't get an STD from toes, but this woman jerks guys off with her feet, so be careful kissing her toes! You can write what you want, but it would be nice if you found an editor so you could write it better.

A man goes to his doctor. He examines the guy and tells him he has syphilis of the big toe. "Wow! Have you ever heard of anything so strange?" he asked the good doctor. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I have," responded the doctor. "Last week I examined a lady with athlete's vagina!"

Yes, there are some writing issues, and I as a lawyer I am tired of the unrealistic "high powered female lawyer" trope, but I can see a reconciliation here that isn't a RAAC. That's incredibly rare in LW.

"whose who?" - No, it's "WHO'S who," as in "Who is who."

"Monica sat thinking about Don's offer. It's very tempting. I think a cruise would be a lot of fun. I'm assuming sex would be expected also. He's not a bad looking man." - Mixing 3rd person and 1st person in the same paragraph!

Why does she need an STD test and not him? She MAY have fucked other men, he knows that he HAS fucked other women.

He is the cheater, not divorced before fucking around, hmmm

JJ

I liked it. I can understand his reaction and I am glad he moved on (for awhile). What I don't understand is how she was such a strong willed and selfish woman for two years and then all of a sudden she wimped out to get him back. She knew she was desired so he was not the only man available. So in his words, what did "he" offer her that was worth her taking him back?

Jump the shark moment. The only people who ever make millions on the stock market are the ones who start out with millions.

What Hubby buys gold toe-rings for a wife who has totally cut him off for more than a year?

What ‘entitled’ Bitch Sweetie reconsiders Hubby’s side of her life after two years of disrespect

towards him and intimacy denial?

Also, at least several too-many ‘denial of disbelief’ - a) surprise lunch, b) overhearing cruise offer,

c) in same club with Sweetie and her boy-toy (no author admission of stalking). Only ONE DoD per

short-story.

3.6 - rounds up to 4*

... why would she bother?

Yeah, she fucked up... but big kids do that shit, and sometimes get over it. His total disrespect, and childish display of pique, was deliberate, and rates him a rating as sub human... Fuck him.

Story was ho hum after she found him and chased his smarmy, narcissistic ass down.

Better that some other that have been posted recently, its just a shame that Monica didn't get to have her fun after the divorce.

Leave and enjoy your life minus her baggage.

Two and a half inch bra less nipples!!??

She got Holstein in the family???

Wow

I’m not sure which main character I dislike more. Probably the husband. Yes she lost her way but realized it and in fact never made an unforgivable mistake. He on the other hand was fat and happy since 2008, 12 years, unemployed? Demanding respect from his wife? Okay he somehow “made millions” day trading, with whose capital? Then he runs off to a fuck fest of cum dumps. Wow so proud.

She can do better. He seems happy. Move on!

When one paragraph ends with a quotation mark and the very next one starts with a mark, that indicates the character speaking has changed. When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark.

Good story, but everything went by a little too quickly for me. Things were a little hard to follow, but I got through it and enjoyed it.

He's stringing her along and is no better than she was before.

What's the deal with Jen? It seems implied she cares for hubby, but you leave her up in the air at the end.

There are no good characters here. All are pretty shitty. Wife's trying to talk her hubby back but has the below thought. She was expecting him to 'crawl' back?

She thought, "I'm going to have to put on a full court press if I'm going to win him back. He's not going to crawl. I have hurt him too bad."

And I lose any sympathy for the hubby because of that sex phone call. What the wife said when she got caught with Jay was shitty, but that phone call was much worse, and just plain cruel. To me, Jen answering the door evened things out.

My favorite part of the story is below. As someone who knows OB/GYN doctors and nurses, I can confirm that this is not how they inform the mothers. However, I will suggest that they try it out and see how it goes.

Then my doctor said the words I feared. "Monica, you're pregnant. Jay impregnated you. You're having his baby. Your belly is already starting to swell. Your breasts are full of milk for his child."

Wife’s an idiot having a mid life crisis but faithful more or less depending on you definition, but hubby an out an out adulterer. Great pair. Deserve each other.

A friendly word of advice: you could really use a proofreader. An error here or there isn't a big deal, but there were quite a few, from spelling to homonym choices. There was also a change of perspective (third person to first person) right at the beginning of Chapter 2 that was particularly jarring.

Other than that, it was fair. There was too much suspension of disbelief required and the protagonist wasn't very likable, but I didn't cringe inside the way I have with some others.

It seems the quality of your work has gone downhill significantly.

At least he did it right, got divorced, found a FWB and let the stupid cunt listen to some real love making.

To many flip-flops of character and emotions.They both hate each other in the beginning but at the end they now love each other.....WTF this story must be in the wrong catagory? Maybe a cross between non-consent and fetish!

Oh boo fucking hoo, she went out on him.. for 2 seconds and never got laid. So, he puts her through hell (and another woman's sex moans) just to be his side kick? Uh, no. Not at my house. I'd be hanging up on that and I might call back in about a month, maybe or maybe never.

The divorce was a great idea. Maybe she can win him back. If not, there's Jen.

Your protagonist is an ass hole as well.

Neither of them is a grown up. How can she be a lawyer and he be a bank officer? They're not smart enough to sell Big Macs. She's supposedly an attorney and she doesn't know how much money he makes? They didn't file Income Tax returns? He was hiding his success from his wife of all those years? All they do is play games with one another, get divorced and then are so immature that they have unprotected sex. Why would he do that? He's out tom catting around and he's asking HER for the STD test? Why would he fuck her without one? He's the one that asked for the test in the first place. When they got divorced and he got half the sales value of their house she would have gotten half his assets. This was just idiotic.

2 stars

@Aethur Re: The OB/GYN - I'm not inclined to look back, but wasn't that OB/GYN business in a dream?

The plot, the characters, the writing, all of it. How could two people still pretend to be married, still want to be married, when they have drifted so far apart? As has been mentioned, this reads like the behavior of two middle school snots who are too immature, selfish, and stupid to carry on a marriage. Or write a story about it.

Wait till you're old enough to shave, or menstruate, and give it another try. But next time do it as an adult, writing about adults. This was just silly and embarrassing.

Oh, and put the next story in Fetish, so you can get even more focused on feet and toes and stockings and related kinks. Pitiful.

He’s making millions as a day trader but never mentioned that to his wife? Seems unlikely at best.

And the guy making millions day trading took a small bank manager job that didn’t pay much?

Have to call bs on both of those.

With the name I expected a lot of Whisky in the story. Basically the fact that their marriage had ceased to have any relevant content was a good reason for them to get a divorce. Why the wife did not want one is a mystery to me.

She cheated he caught her didn't know all she did but as said holding hands enough

He left she chased enough sorrow and punishment and will they get back

? But. I have my ending he uses his millions to

@sbrooks103x It was. I just thought it was hilarous. At my wife's office, the RN's usually deliver most news to the paitents (positive pregnancies, STD's, etc). Usually the doctors handle the 'fetal demise' conversations, but not always. Some doctors are lazy.

The sex scene with Jay was a dream. Dreams are not supposed to make sense. The doctors words to Monica are ridiculous but are conjured up in her dream. It was not supposed to make sense. It shook her to her senses realizing what she lost .

I do enjoy your stories but this one was a bit of a let down. I actually felt like the husband was a jerk. I normally would prefer to see a cheating wife be burned, but you made it so that felt like she was in the right and that should have kept her job and moved on. Going to florida was just spending time in purgatory until she somehow "purged" herself of her own sins. He just became a dick down there.

I understand she fucked up I also understand she may let herself go. The one gamble monica can do is, is a lie detection test. I say its a gamble because there are have to be some hard hitting questions like.

Were you going to cheat on your husband?

Did you have intercourse with Jay?

And so on and so forth

How would jason reaction would be if she pass or fail

I have no idea.

I loved the story right up to the phone call point of the story, that was a very low blow even from a smart man as you point the husband to be but Monica handle that scenario like a boss, other wives would've went over there with murderous thoughts in their minds and kill in their eyes, so top marks to Monica and top marks to this story

She didn't pass the cheater's test, she failed multiple times. That said, they should divorce and did. So, she totally committed to him. No reconciliation, yet.

The issue, usually, is trust. She ha s proven herself totally committed, so she can be trusted. That 's a superficial analysis but accurate. The bizarro BTB obsesser will spit 'burn her, she cheated', without a coherent thought. More mature readers know it needs time, maturity, and hard work to make a good reconciliation happen.

Good job. A bit superficial, the foot fetish was an intimate twist, but she seemed to have outgrown her need for strange male attention.

Good plot; good basic characters. But the conversations appear wooden, contrived. Thanks for sharing.

The story is not good. The most obvious thing missing is whether Jason had ever talked to his wife about the abandonment issue during the two years. If Jason did not raise the issue, the wife could have assumed that he was fine with the life they were living.

When they separated, Jason wasted no time in fucking other women even though he was still married, and his wife was not fucking anyone. Jason actually is a true asshole in the story.

Also - given tax returns that both would have had to sign, there is no way Jason could have hidden his income.

Jason was entirely right in divorcing her cheating ass!!! If you do ANYTHING with another Man/Woman that you wouldn't do in front of your spouse...CHEATING!!!!

The monologes and dialogues are so unbelievable bad its almost funny ... my womb is filled with his cum“ lol yeah right ... you are pregnant and your brasts are full of milk for his child ... just OMG. Making this worse should br almost impossible

Jason was an arrogant asshole, couldn't wait to get some strange when he dumped his wife, then rubbed her nose in it, insists on her getting tested, but what about him, it's all about him, arrogant twat

Pretty sure I read this before. But still good

I disagree with those that consider Jason a jerk for divorcing her. She deserved no better.

I really didn't like the reconciliation and saw no reason in the story to prefer the ex to, say, Jen.

When first we practice to become a dumb bitch

Please try another approach

I read this some time ago and really hated the ending. For me, at the time, the disrespect was so far over the top that I could care less about any possible sex. Now it has been a great while and I found this story again. I lived out my disrespectful end to a marriage and would have thought I would still agree with my earlier feelings. I was wrong. I valued him disrespecting her, having sex in a way she could hear it, and him making her work for ever inch she got with him. He clearly had lost respect for her and she needed to earn it back, and maybe along the way she can prove just how much she respects him.

I don't know if the authors' of these comments are a writers or would be ones, but their stories must be somewhat one-dimensional.

Liked your ending but found the reasoning forced and slightly off (however it was a tough corner you'd painted yourself into, and it was a very valiant try to get out of it!).

...”because she was lonely and bored, and definitely not for sex” and running into the husband at the bar, club, or restaurant, which ruins any chance of the husband wanting to reconcile, is a bit too commonly used by this author. It’s a good plot device, but if I’ve come to expect it reading a particular author’s stories, then it’s probably used too often.

Why don’t you try tying the stories together with a common motor vehicle; say a Camaro. You can have the MC driving a 1971 SS Camaro when he meets a hot middle aged lady driving a 2004 Camaro, and they can race... and fall in love. And you can use more Camaro in other stories to keep a tie-in. That’d be cool as a common plot device within your stories. Wouldn’t it?

And the “bad guy” drives a new Challenger. Yeah! That’s it. The bad guy drives up in his new Challenger with the wife in the passenger seat, and smirks at the MC. Challenge accepted (Get it? Challenge-Challenger? No?). And they can race each other, and of course the Camaro wins because it has not DOT approved NOx injectors.

This, and every other story this author has written that I’ve read, belongs in the fetish category. Personally I don’t “get” foot fetishes, and can’t imagine anything erotic about them. But to each, his own, I guess. Anyway, just reading about this fetish takes something AWAY from the story for me. Two stars ⭐️ for the effort.

If he did that it would have to be Mustangs but that's already been done and much better than would be done here. I'm not one who can stand the old song about not believing in coincidences because they do happen, but how many can one handle in one story? One other thing that I've seen commented on in these stories are foot jobs, how many people get off on foot jobs besides this writer? Signed: BTW

“...it would have to be Mustangs but that's already been done...”

Yes, I know. That’s why I used a Camaro and Challenger instead.

It was a spoof AND a comment. Using the Mustang has almost nothing to do with an LW type story, it could be about any semi-mythic and/or revered “sporty” car. If this were the UK it’d be a Jaguar XK-type, or Europe some fabled Volvo or BMW. SS06 just uses it as a vehicle (no pun) to maintain a consistent thread among his stories, without the stories actually being the same. Problem with R5373 is the consistent item is actually integral to the plot of the story. It’s as if a mystery detective writer — yes of course someone is always murdered, but so is relationship cheating in LW stories — always uses a knife poisoned with curare stabbed into the back as the method of murder in every story, and the murderer always gives themselves away by going back to the scene of the crime and smoking a cigarette over the spot the body was found. To use the same plot device over and over is not... good.

I Took My First ex back .. She was faithful for about 3 months .. Then I got the Divorce serve to her at The Hospital .. Seems her Boyfriend like beating on her . I also got all of the Locks and The Garage door locks changed .. And her Parents expected Us to get back together . Not No But Hell No

Really strange as I really didn't care for either character. Nor did I find anything in the story the appealed to me.

all with an innate ability to hold, grasp and keep. TK U MLJ LV NV

He is an arsehole.He heard her profess her love for him to Don,yet never gave her chance to prove it.

As a story about a wife who loses her way and finds it again, I can appreciate it. I'm not crazy about her and she is hedging her bets even as she is separated from her husband, but that makes her growth interesting. However, it will take a long, long time to regain trust.

Yet another story about a wimpy cuck.

So it must be true that "marriage is a great way to screw up a perfectly good relationship"? Hmm.

I would think that a better idea would be to make up your mind about what you want and go with the decision

then don't be surprised if trust evaporates. There are plenty of fish.

Read again. He’s making millions day trading 🙄 and he takes a job at a bank?

For some reason it strikes me that a woman who doesnt intend to head towards a divorce would say this sparkling gem out loud, at least without some serious editing...."He says all the things a woman wants to hear. I wanted him. I wanted him to fuck my brains out. Is that what you want to hear, Jason. I wanted to let him eat my pussy and spew his young semen deep inside me. The pussy only you have been inside since we married. I envisioned a fantasy of myself riding his young cock til he couldn't get it up again and my pussy wouldn't hold any more cum."

Now if she WANTED a divorce then yes, she'd say this...but as is typical here, no woman is ever written in any real sense.

So yes, even though there is no rating for stupid, it gets 1 star, which is more than it deserved.

Not criticizing you but jumping from third person to first in some of the paragraphs on page one was a little distracting since you gave no indication she or he was talking to himself. Just food for thought.

The wife has not had sex with her hubby for over 1 year .. Yes I considered that Cheating . Kick her to the curb and find someone who respected him . There are some great Ladies out there if you look hard . Without Love and Respect and Sex can their be a Happy Wedding ? I do not think so

She is all kinds of stupid. Best to let go of her and move on, you had a great 20yr marriage so take comfort in that but its still better to move on.

A year without sex for a couple who aren't asexual is baffling. Should've had a confrontation or pulled the plug on the corpse of a marriage long before she actually cheated.

OMG! Another happy ending!

Writing on stilts. Wow, does anyone talk like this is written?

Hmmm...

I'm not a big fan of this type of tale. You don't just change overnight. What if she knew he had millions day-trading? Would she still have thought less of him? Like I said, I'm not a fan.

Good tale however the ending should have had her get pregnant and them remarry.

That first day, she told him the price of her success was too high. Instead of running out in a snit, he had the moral high ground and she was ready to change. I guess then, it would've been just an 800-word 'flash story'. Good job on the 'lone version'. 5/5!!

If I read this correctly, Hubby indicated that he would be glad to boff Sweetie IF she produced a clear certificate regarding venereal diseases. Yeah, We-TheReaders HAVE to believe the omniscient narrator that she had not harbored any strange yachts (or dinghies.) Hard as that would seem after her first telephone call.

By the bye, the list is Who’s Who. As in ‘Who Is Who!’. which probably should be Who’s Whom!

Why could she not love/respect him after he was laid of from work due to no fault of his own??Such a shrew. LP

she didn't change at all, he did.

he put up with her bullshit outta love, and she mistook that for weakness.

he then proceeds to correct her with complete confidence. she saw him as a lesser man in every way possibel.

he not only told her to take a hike, but he made GOOD money while unemployed. he also banged younger women. he never whined with her either. she had to whine, beg, wine/dine, and seduce him. there was never a moment where he put in any effort. he was the prize, and he acted like the prize the entire time. even while she was 'lonely and at a weak point' dancing. he wasn't watching like a sad jealous husband. he was watching, but he was smiling at her with smug confidence, 'caught ya, bitch'.

so what does a shallow and selfish woman do? a woman that only respects power. she begs, debases, and chases it. there are two layers to this story. one of words, and a past history of 'good twenty years of marriage....' and then there is the primal level. she's a monkey branching opportunist, and he's still the top ape.....so she pathetically crawled back to his branch when she looked back and noticed she was mistaken about him being a loser. that's why he laughed and made her listen to his fuck-buddies. it wasn't malicious. it was dominance. he no longer loves her like he used to, but he doesn't mind dominating her. and she...doesn't mind being dominated by him. it was a test.

Can't get past that she treated him like dirt & was totally disrespecting/ embarrassing him, ready to fuck another man, and he's still interested in her? He's gone months on end without any loving & he stays with her? Must love humiliation. Her admitting & apologizing for her actions seem a bit too late, especially when he's another woman that does seem to love him. And he seriously wants her back in his life? How to still love a bitch like that?

Marriage tends to be a constant battle for superiority. Some are blatant this way, others do it in the background. Since hubby lost his job, and wifey was climbing the business and social ladder, it was a foregone conclusion she would try to dominate the relationship. For some women, it means controlling the money. In her case, it meant minimizing hubby in her life until the point he didn’t matter. Cutting him off from sex for a year, was a blatant way she did it. She then felt free to date men who were more in line with her new “ social status”. Once a change like this happens in a woman’s life, she officially graduates from “ Narcissist school” There is no turning the clock back. It is possible she might have went back to him, but the relationship would never have been the same. Wifey always would be thinking, about the life, and men, she gave up. Sooo... I know there are slot of writers , and readers on Literotica, that need every story to end happy. But realistically, that wasn't gonna happen here. One star, for lack of believability.

I actually went through this. I lost my good paying job, and there was not many options. She lost respect for me, and ended up in another man's arms. She asked for a divorce, and I let her go to follow her dream. It took me almost 10 years to get over it. Now I think of her as a selfish twat.

I just don't buy she would change like that.

That's what Called Pussy Whipped.

Give men some pussy...and They will be your slave .

He accused her of cheating! The only one cheating wa s this shithole of a MC

I gave it 5 stars because it was a good fantasy but no way would a top notch lawyer with a huge ego give up and demean herself just to get her husband back. It's just not in their nature. Maybe a doctor or CFO would though.

Tried this a second time and its still as stupid as those who thinks it good are.

Everything here was soooooooooooooooo cliched, if any readers who do more than read the Sunday funnies read this they would pick up the cheesy as hell and over used cliches of which i speak. But few seem to have the ability to really notice the clap trap.

The male characters in these stories always have a total black and white view of the world....until they don't. No one's reactions have any middle ground. The women continually make bad choices, and the men see nothing but the negative side. Besides that, the men are almost female passive-aggressive types. 4/5.

Man's an asshole... Yes, she is self-absorbed but the MC could have tried to talk to her before all this shit had happened. He used her near infidelity as an excuse to fuck around.

I'm giving this 3 stars but actually hedging towards 2. I can't imagine any guy staying married to a bitch who disrespects his so much as to ignore him completely, telling him he's so far below her. For a year, she's in the glory of her success as a bit time lawyer with no concerns about her hurting husband. Again, he allows this for a year? One commenter questioned why didn't he speak to her during that time? They evidently forget that she didn't care what he thought. The level of disrespect, humiliation, & yes- betrayal's immense. Should not be forgotten that she's wanting to fuck her co-worker. Even with her denials, maybe she already did!

I also don't see her giving up the lifestyle so fast. It's unbelievable to me. Along with my comment above, he should've just packed up & left with only a small note behind. Of course, this would be with him having a job somewhere, such as that bank manager's job in Florida. She finds him & approaches, no talk is needed. He should tell her she didn't want him for those months, he doesn't want or need him now. Just file for the divorce. Any continued attempt of her to contact him should be ignored.

Both his waiting for a year to do anything, & her giving up the status of her job immediately, isn't believable. And this slumps the story. As written, the husband is an unwilling cuck & a wimp. Even wanting to bed her is showing his weakness. I'm wondering what she's got in mind after he becomes comfy & perhaps takes her back. As written, I can see that happening. I also can see her, perhaps not on the scale she did, but wind up again disrespecting him. Yeah, I can see all that happening. A weak 3 stars Bob

Well conceived variation on a well-trodden trope, the plot was simple and straightforward. Well written delivery of detail and character development, with minimal attention needed to any but the two main characters. In spite of some who view the possibility of reconciliation when temptation strikes as being zero, marriage counselors will tell you the odds are not bad when causes are explored, explained and dealt with--and communication is adhered to.

Liked that the storyline was not either a full-throated BTB or RAAC. Life is not just all one thing or another.

Kudos and well done. More please.

I Iiked this.

There is regret and remorse and there are reconciliatory steps.

Time has also passed.

Monica deserved a second chance.

Well written.

5/5

well hell ,what happen to the STD test and the condom.

MC equates love to just sex. The wife drops her carrier to be his part-time booty call. Shallow take on relationship.

Why are there so many stories about rich lawyers and their rich husbands? Most LW stories are about money, not relationships. All lawyers are parasitic liars. Who gives a flying fuck what they think, feel, or what happens to them?

Can't believe he went back to dating his cheating wife. Her and all her backup plans.

Awful writing. Husband is like a little child, siriosly, so annoying.

2 starrs

The author obviously has never worked in a bank. No one earning millions from a hobby would take a job as a small retail Bank Manager. OMG, that is so ridiculous it is laughable.

Ok story.

4/5

Cuck boy Jason walked away like the weak wimp he is without any revenge and then is back to fucking her!!

Stupid. The "runaway butt-hurt beta hubbies" are getting so old on this site. It says more about the writers of the stories than their whiny, passive-aggressive main characters. An actual Y-chromosome-invested male who doesn't run away. If that describes you, then realize we're the last of the breed.

He blew on her clit and she was writhing huh? Where do you guys come up with this shit?

He had it wall to wall, and yet he went back to the woman who treated him like a second class citizen with nothing for two years, just because she said she would change, but being a pussy whipped male doesn’t make him Robison Crusoe.