A Million to One

She kissed me deeply, then said, "Thank you for giving me another chance. I promise you, we'll grow old together faithfully."

"Wow! We're growing old together already?"

"Mark, I'm not wasting this chance. I'll never love anyone but you."

"Fair enough," I said noncommittally.

As I was leaving, Mrs. Steele was walking up the front steps.

"G'Morning, Nan," I said with a smirk.

"Good morning, SON," she said as she walked by. One date and she had us married already. Mothers...

It was a bit hard to accept at that moment, that apparently I was the only one not planning a wedding. I wondered if I should go along with it because it was inevitable, or casually slow it down. If I did slow it down, I couldn't be overt. I thought that would hurt Billie.

*********

I guess it's true that there is such a thing as looking like you got laid last night because the girls at the office didn't even know I had a date let alone had sex, but I got grief for it.

Melanie, my group admin, was the first to start on me.

"Damn, Mark. One more week and I would've won."

"What do you mean, Mel?"

"The ladies have an office pool for the month you finally get laid. I had August."

I just shook my head and walked away as she laughed and dialed the phone.

There was an unwritten rule at the office about me. I'd been there since before my divorce, and everyone knew me pretty well. Those that didn't, still knew me because I was one of the top sales reps. I made it clear early on that I would never date anyone from work again. It took a couple of hard conversations, with some very attractive women, to explain that in a way that word would get around.

The situation with my ex made it rough for a bit at work. Some of the managers thought it was my fault that she quit and moved. I didn't care, I hate lawyers anyway, and her managers were no exception.

*********

Erin, one of the other teams' admin came up to me at noon and offered to take me to lunch. When I asked why she showed me an envelope of twenties. I guess she had July.

I accepted and we went to a local sandwich and coffee shop. I knew it was going to blow up on me as soon as I saw Billie through the window. Her office is half a mile from mine, so it's not unusual to bump into each other at lunch.

I told Erin that the reason she won the bet is in there and I needed to head a jealous woman off at the pass. She laughed and agreed. Something about thanking her too. Ugh!

Billie was sitting with another girl and two guys. She half fell out of her chair when she saw me.

"Mark, oh God! It's not what it looks like. This is my boss Don, and this is Harry and Joyce. They are engaged."

That was a surprise reaction. There I was worried about how it looked for me having lunch with a lady and she freaks out about her lunch companions.

Like an idiot, I figured I'd play with her insecurity a little bit and said, "Oh! Okay. So, you're not cheating on me the day after you profess we will grow old together and you'll love me forever."

Then, if that wasn't stupid enough, I added, "I guess my kids can't call your mom, Nan, anymore?"

I swear she went from 0-60 in 2 seconds out the front door in tears. Don got up, called me an asshole, and followed her out.

Joyce said, "You'd better hope she forgives you, you prick!" as she followed.

Harry said, "I know you were joking, but she didn't notice the smile or your tone. She was too freaked out seeing you. All she did, all of the lunch was tell us how excited she was that you're giving her a second chance. She's got it bad for you, man."

"I know. I screwed up. Excuse me while I go after her before she leaves."

"Don't worry about that. I drove," he said showing me his keys.

I walked outside and found them in the parking lot. She was crying but seemed to be calming down.

"Billie, I'm sorry, honey. I was only joking."

A look of fire came over her face and then she slapped me. That was unexpected.

I said, "I really am sorry." I didn't look back as I turned and walked away. Erin was standing by the car when I walked past her and said, "Sorry, I'm walking back."

With lunch ruined and probably my new relationship as well, I knew I wouldn't get much done at work. I took the afternoon off to figure out how to fix my stupidity.

I stopped at a florist and had them send a bouquet for immediate delivery to her office. Obviously, the card said, "I'm sorry, I love you."

I bought 2 dozen roses and brought them to her house. With Nan and the kids there I got the Spanish Inquisition treatment from Markie and her grandmother for being home so early with flowers.

"I messed up," I said, as Markie and Nan all of a sudden perked up their ears.

"She was at lunch with her coworkers and boss when I walked into the coffee shop. She got nervous seeing me thinking that I would misunderstand and I'd think she was out with another man."

"Oh no," Markie said. "What did you do?"

"I thought it would be funny to bust her chops about being with another man, but it didn't go over well. She didn't get the joke and she slapped me. I just walked away before making her more upset and embarrassing her further."

"God! You are so dumb. Mr. Mark, if you knew how happy Mom was on Sunday morning when we were talking about you taking her out, you'd be shocked."

"No, sweetie, I know she's been hoping for this for a long time. The last 48 hours have made that clear. I know how much she loves me."

"Mr. Mark, you know Mom wasn't a fan of me getting a phone right?"

"Yeah, I convinced her that you needed it for safety."

"What! I didn't know that" Markie shrieked.

"Yeah, you're welcome."

She shook her head and said, "Thanks, I owe you one." She continued, "She gave me her old phone. It was horrible, but she said that I was too young to have a brand new expensive phone, and I was thankful just to have one. Now, look at this."

She handed me a brand new, latest model iPhone.

"When she went shopping yesterday, she bought me that. She said it was a thank you gift because I got you to go out with her. She was that thankful to me."

I defensively said, "Look, I know I messed up. I'll make it up to her and I'll make it right."

"I really hope so, Mark," Nan said. "She's been an emotional wreck this weekend."

"Yeah, I know. I was there. But you know what is starting to piss me off? No one cares what I want. I have to mold my feelings into everyone's idea of what Billie wants. What about what I want, huh? When do I finally have someone ask me what I think or how I feel?"

Marky and Mrs. Steel were stunned into silence. I said, "I need some air. Send the boys home whenever."

I just couldn't stop saying stupid things.

*********

I walked home, grabbed a cigar, and sat on the pool deck dangling my feet in the water. I replayed the weekend in my mind, also thinking of Billie, Markie, and Jimmy.

I thought about the last two years and how we got closer.

It took a few weeks for her and the kids to settle in, when the moved in, but once they did she started bringing the kids over to swim.

The kids hit it off right away. It was only a matter of time before we caught up to them. I broke the ice, as she always seemed uncomfortable around me.

"Billie, just so you know, I'm over what happened. You can relax around me."

It was abrupt and she was taken aback momentarily, then she smiled and said. "I'm glad. Those were the worst days of my life. I felt so horrible about it."

"Water under the bridge. We've both got a couple of great kids out of it."

"Yeah, your boys are really hitting it off with Jimmy. I had hoped we could get along for their sakes."

"Of course we can and we will."

"My mom wanted me to tell you that she would be happy to watch your boys during the days. She's already watching Markie and Jimmy while I'm at work, so it's no big deal."

"She doesn't think it will be too much for her? I wouldn't want to drive her nuts."

"Try it out and see how it goes. It'll save you a ton of money."

"Okay, I'll talk with her soon. The boys will be thrilled to hang out with Jimmy and Markie all day."

After that, it was all rather organic. We spent more and more time together and seemingly picked up right where we left off before we had kids, without the romance. We were friends long before we were lovers.

We began going places together, with the kids, and it became our new normal. We grew together as well but never progressed past being close friends.

I didn't really have many friends outside the neighborhood. My neighbor, Manny, and I hung out. He and his wife, Carina, had a three-year-old girl and became good friends with Billie and her family as well.

As a result, Billie and I hung out more. I felt my old feelings for her coming back and after she was back six months, it was Thanksgiving. With the new dynamic, my parents, and Billie's parents decided we would have Thanksgiving dinner together.

My parents hosted and it was an all-day affair. I had a large SUV that could fit Billie and her children so we drove across town together.

My mom cornered me at one point and asked about my budding relationship with Billie.

"We're just friends, Mom. We get along well, but I'll never be romantic with her again."

My mom gave me a smirk and said, "You know she'd die for a second chance, don't you?"

"I haven't gotten that impression from her, Mom, but I'm really not looking to go back there again."

"Whatever, dear. There's always a chance," she said and went back to cooking.

Markie was bored playing with whatever action figures the boys were into at the time, but she found a coloring book and decided she would rather do that than play with the boys or watch football.

She sat next to me on the couch and surprised me by asking me to color a page with her. As funny as I thought it was for an 11-year-old to be coloring, my coloring had to look ridiculous.

We were called to dinner and Markie thanked me for coloring with her. I remember that was one of the first times, I wished she was my kid.

My mom thought she was cute by sitting me next to Billie at dinner, but it wasn't a big deal for me.

Christmas was much the same thing except I hosted it. Somehow at dinner, I was next to Billie again.

Manny played Santa for us and came over to pass out gifts. No one believed in Santa anymore so it wasn't a big deal that Santa had a heavy Spanish accent.

I went a little overboard and got my boys, Jimmy and Markie each an iPod touch. That was a big deal I guess because Jimmy and my boys could text each other and Markie could text FaceTime her friends. Markie gave me a nice hug, and I got the usual fist bump from Jimmy. I thought they just did music and games.

Billie was slightly upset that I didn't tell her what I was getting them. She felt it was too much to spend. I didn't care about the money and the video games she got the boys were just as good in their eyes, so there was really no competition.

I bought Billie an Apple Watch, she loved it but thought I overdid it again. She got me a box of cigars.

Markie was trying to set up her iPod. She came over to me and sat on my lap in case she needed help. Of course, she didn't. Kids know more about that stuff than adults any day of the week and soon she was off FaceTiming her friends.

I had the boys call their mother, but it went to voicemail. It was the effort that mattered to me. They didn't care either way.

After that Christmas, Markie and I seemed to have bonded more. Jimmy and I always got along, but Markie warmed up fully to me. I started getting hello and goodbye hugs and kisses. I started wishing more and more that she was my daughter.

Billie and the crew came over on New Year's Eve to watch the festivities. My mother begged me to go out with Billie for an adult night out, even if I made it clear that it wasn't a date. I told her absolutely not. I didn't want to make it look like I was interested in her that way. My mother continued to push until I was clearly upset by her pressing and then she finally backed down. She did mumble on about there always being a chance though.

Back then I wasn't near ready to be with Billie in that way. I did feel like I had my old friend back and it was really nice to have that aspect of our relationship working out.

The kids' birthdays came next and my boys were first in June. We had a huge party with what seemed like most of their class in attendance plus Mickie and some of her friends that tagged along just to swim.

Billie helped keep everything organized while I manned the grill cooking up hot dogs and hamburgers. I threw some brats on too, for some of the moms and dads that stayed. It's funny how the older they get, the fewer parents stay for the party. I guess it's nice to have a kid-free break every once in a while.

Billie was really amazing and it would've been a train wreck without her help. Once everyone left, I brought out a cigar and a bottle of Warre Tawny Port that I love. Not too expensive, but nice.

I poured a glass for Billie and myself, and I thanked her for her help.

"I couldn't have done it without you, Billie. Thank you."

"It was absolutely my pleasure, Mark. I'd do anything for you. You know that."

I noticed that she blushed when she said it, but I let it go without picking on her for the double entendre.

I said, "Since you were so kind, may I offer my home and pool for Markie's party next month?"

"No, that's too much for you. I was just going to rent a pizza place room for her. No need to have a houseful of pre-teen girls. That's a hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy."

I laughed and said. "I insist. It really won't be a problem. You went way above and beyond today. You were supposed to be a guest and you practically ran the whole show."

"Really, it was nothing."

"You're gonna make me play dirty then."

"What do you mean?"

"Hey, Markie," I shouted to her as she swam with a late staying friend.

"Yeah, Mr. Mark?"

"Do you want to have a pool party for your birthday?"

"Yeet!" She shrieked and jumped out of the pool. She was across the deck in a flash and before I could stop her, she hugged me.

Billie shook her head as Markie thanked me and jumped back into the pool.

"Well, I didn't expect that," I said looking down at my wet clothes. "But I guess that was a yes."

Billie laughed at me and said, "Serves you right for going against my wishes. Really though, thank you."

"No problem, I'm looking forward to it."

We had Markie's party and Billie gave her the cell phone. It was an older model iPhone that was a hand me down from Billie. Billie upgraded herself of course. I gave Markie a $200 iTunes gift card so she could sign up for the all-access plan and be able to download and listen to anything she wanted. Billie told me it was too much. She said hosting the party was enough.

"Nah," I said. "It's like ten bucks a month for the service and she doesn't have to buy any songs. You'll thank me later."

Markie loved it and hugged me. I heard Jimmy say, "That's better than what Dad got you."

I felt bad about that. I didn't want to overshadow her father. I'd have to be careful for Jimmy's birthday. Billie heard him too and grabbed my hand to hold.

"He sent her a $50 gift card to AMC movie theater. He really doesn't care about them. He didn't even call her on her birthday. I saw the card and it wasn't even his signature. It must have been sent by his new wife."

"I'm sorry. That stinks."

"It is what it is. Do I have to worry about what you're going to give Jimmy?"

I laughed and said, "I haven't thought about it yet. I did notice he doesn't have PlayStation."

Billie laughed and said, "Don't you dare. I'm getting him that."

"Okay. Games it is." I smiled and she agreed to that."

As expected, Jimmy figured he was having a pool party birthday too. I didn't even have to argue with Billie over it. She just accepted it as fact. I was happy to do it. I had a larger yard too and already owned the tent to put up in the yard if we needed cover. It came in handy when it rained at Jimmy's party. It did stop for a couple of hours, so the fish got some swimming in.

That summer we did even more together. Amusement parks, carnivals, zoo, and museum trips, I think people started assuming we were a couple, but I hadn't changed my opinion on that at that point.

When Christmas came, I hosted again and when they came over Markie was in a bad mood. Billie pulled me aside and told me that her ex sent her and Jimmy cards with twenty dollars cash in them.

"Maybe he had a rough year. If he can't afford it..."

Billie cut me off and said, "He makes six figures and his wife works. He posted on FaceBook that he bought a Lexus SUV last month. He's got some money."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, Mark. I think she was more upset that when we called him this morning, he was quick and rushed off of the phone. He cares more about his new son, that he had with the whore, than about his own kids."

I said, "That really stinks but I can relate. My ex didn't bother to answer when Miles called her. Hey, don't worry about Markie. When she opens my present, she'll be thrilled."

"Oh God, what did you do now?" Billie asked half-annoyed.

"I heard her talking with one of her friends about the new Beats headphones. I knew you were getting her the TV for her room, so I figured I was safe to get them."

"You found them? They're sold out everywhere. That's why I got her the TV."

"Yeah, Manny's nephew works at Best Buy. He was able to hold them for me."

"Damn. Mr. Mark the hero coming through for her again."

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "We'd better get in there before our parents start rumors about us."

I heard her barely audibly say, "If only," as we walked back into the living room.

I was already starting to figure that she wanted to take the next step with our relationship. I still wasn't willing to go there. I did love her kids though and I didn't mind spoiling them a little.

Markie did freak out when she opened my gift. I was hit with a scream and a hurricane of a hug. I was very happy but felt sad at the same time. I had already started to realize that if I would've been able to man up she could've been my daughter. It was getting tougher to see them.

Things were fairly quiet, until a few months later when Markie decided to play matchmaker.

**********

Getting my feelings out in the open regarding Markie and that amazing night in bed with Billie, seemed to remove my mental blocks. I knew that I still loved her. I was starting to come around and was thinking that I would enjoy getting back into a relationship with her.

Hell, I knew if I would have asked her to marry me she'd jump at it. It seemed that I was the one behind the 8-ball there, but her slapping me was a bit of a shock.

Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe it showed that she was still confident and strong and wouldn't be submissive to me in fear of losing me again. The more I thought about that, the better I felt. I didn't want her walking on eggshells with me. I was happy with how our friendship grew over the last two years and didn't want to lose that dynamic.

I knew we'd likely be okay. I'd just have to kiss some butt and learn to keep my mouth shut going forward.

After a while, as I was deep in reflection, someone sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry I hit you."

"I deserved it," I told Billie as I took her hand in mine.

"I was so scared that you thought I was doing something behind your back. It's so silly. We had one date for Christ's sake."

"Well, I did kind of thing that we were back together, even though it was only one date."

"I had hoped so. Mark, I love you so much. I don't know how to act. I'm afraid you'll always be wondering about who I'm with or what I'm doing."