All Comments on 'A Mother Transformed Pt. 01'

Ah shit... another cuckold shit

too many adjectives, for the 1st time, I used windows text=speech, came out kinda weird, but gave clues to many grammar problems

Another cuckold...

Don't bother with a part 2 for this garbage or any other ideas you may have for stories. If you think a cuck story is the way to introduce yourself you fucked up. I'll toss your name onto the pile of writers to ignore.

This belongs in the Sci-fi & Fantasy category, not Incest/Taboo.

Loved it!! The story idea and premise is new and will be amazing in the coming chapters. I do have a few pointers (constructive criticism if you may).

-ignore the anon comments as you triggered a religious community by adding adultery plot with the incest tag. Best solution I found is to provide a different tag such as adultery, bdsm, and maybe mind control will be better?

-instead of using “you” tell the story from the son’s point of view. The flow of reading is better.

Personal suggestions (not constructive or any criticism). just suggestions.

- have as many friends, cousins, strangers, cousins, gangbang the mom as possible. With the son present and with his blessing

- exhibit the mom in public

- keep the son dominant

- please dont include gay/lesbian, other woman,

What a wimp, no need for another chapter

Second person stories suck.

second part please i want her bigger

"keep the son dominant" pfffft what a load of BS

Please don't use 2nd person perspective. It's too confusing to read and doesn't work with this type of story. Use 1st person or 3rd person.

Thanks for posting this story. You can ignore the hateful comments from anonymous posters, but I hope that you will consider the constructive feedback given by others. I hope that this can help you improve your style, the pace of your story, and the plot.

Regarding the style, many paragraphs in your story make excessive use of fanciful descriptions or long sentences. Your style is dangerously close to the "purple prose" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_prose) that should be avoided. Also, the long sentences hurt the readability of your story. For example, if I look at the third paragraph of the third page (starting with "You stared in confliction at your mother's ..."), it is rather long (254 words) but it is split in only 6 sentences, which results in an average of 42 words per sentence. You should aim for 15-20 words per sentence, not more. There are many free online resources that can help you evaluate the readability of your text.

The long descriptions also tend to be a bit repetitive after the first page. Descriptive sentences containing several adjectives or adverbs may be used occasionally even if they break the pace of your story, but only if the reader learns something new every time. If each description contains some unexpected elements that help shaping the story or its characters, then the reader will pay attention. But if this is always about repeating the same thing in a different way, or describing every step in a slow progression that does not surprise the reader, then there is a high risk that the reader will be bored and will not enjoy your story.

As already mentioned by others, using the second person does not fit well with this type of story. When your story is about incest and cuckolding, it is not a good idea to address the reader directly. This amplifies the negative reactions for any element in the story that does not match the reader's fantasies.

And finally, the plot and the tags for this story... Many stories in the Incest/Taboo category involve a main character that gains influence over other members of their family through sex. Cuckolding is the opposite of that. Introducing that near the end of an incest story without any warning is a sure way to get negative comments. You could have avoided (or softened) these negative reactions by including an warning before the story so that those who hate cuckold stories could look elsewhere instead of being disappointed by the last paragraphs of the story.

Yeah i love this theme

Still waiting for update

please continue

A great twist to the story would be for the phone to fall out of Kevin’s pocket while he is groping his mom and for him to use the app to freeze Kevin and make him leave. He obviously used the pills on himself and hen made he fake diet plan for the main guys mom on purpose but he didn’t hunk about how he could be controlled. He should struggle to but successfully make his friend leave and forget about the app but struggle to put his mom back and then as her thighs, tits, and ass get bigger and she acts sluttier he should give in and try her out.

i agree with the constructive criticism below, like the descriptions being a bit long/repetitive, however the story was still super hot. i keep thinking about it and coming back after reading it yesterday. i hope you aren’t discouraged by some of these comments and keep writing. i’m excited to see what happens next

very cool story, a diamond in the rough that can be polished, I would say I doubt if you rosaras the NTR genre or just focus on the Incest, recommendation would be nice a little love between both parties mother and son that was developing in the course of the story not just wild sex and that the main character could control more people indifferent mind if they consume or not the pills because he took the same pills but had a different effect on the as mind control and modification of his body (my native language is Spanish translated by deepl)

Ay good stuff. I patiently await part 2.

Promising and you obviously have talent for this. But the barrage of adjectives and analogies is just too much. Also it goes a bit too fast. She changed from housewife to bimbo whore in 1min. Would love a more progressive transformation. And not just physical but psychological aswell (she doesn't have a single line).

When part 2?

make her a breeding slut!

Literally unreadable. Way too many adjectives, it read like a copy pasta.

Get rid of Kevin, he needs to be punished in some way. Pretty clear he already used the nano bots on himself and lied about testing them on Victoria.

Have the MC steal his phone and make the nano bots in Kevin shrink his dick and make him forget everything, or make him dumb as fuck.

Let MC take the nano bots and use them on himself. Have him come clean to Victoria. Have her be curious about them and ask for proof, and then let her and MC experiment with them together and see where the story goes.

Needs serious editing and perhaps realignment of the story line. As others have said, it's almost unreadable.

It could be a decent story with some strong rework.