All Comments on 'A New Order? Pt. 01'

Had to stop after just a few sentences.

The story is quite interesting. That said; the spell check you are using has put the wrong words into the story and every time I come across one it just pulls me out of the story line. EXAMPLE " inside he always felt inferior and week" 4 stars but for the grammar it would have been a 5. Find someone to read over your story , or read it out loud to yourself before sending it in for publishing.