All Comments on 'A New Submitted Girl'

Like the story, lost interest due to grammar and spelling issues.

There is definitely a need for proofreading. Hard to follow but the storyline was interesting. Keep trying.

Really needs a good editor! If you can clean it up to be more readable it has the potential to be a good read.

Issues with grammar (especially verb tenses) and punctuation makes this unreadable.

"she had just asked her to accompany him to an important two-week meeting." That was only the first line. You don't care to proof read, I don't care to read it.

As others have said, the poor grammar let’s this story down. Fix it and this could be a great series.

It is possible the author is not a native English speaker. Or maybe he was simply educated in one of our glowing school systems. Nothing wrong with the plot, but painful to read. Surely getting him/her, he/she right is not too great a task.

Sorry, I am Spanish and the English I have used has always been the technical English of the manuals I have used at work. So my already limited grammar has been even more damaged. I use translator and I try to review it several times before publishing it, I can only apologize and try to fix it and thank you for reading the story and considering it interesting.

Great story line but needs work. Get an editor if you are having trouble with English grammar. I hope you continue with this story, with the aide of an editor.

Please continue, and as others have said, please get an editor or have someone proofread your story. There were parts that were too rushed. When he explained that she would be auctioned off every night "...you will be allowed to rest before he claims you" is backward. You could have said "...you will be allowed to rest before your next auction". It looks like there is going to be a lot of BDSM and whippings going on so I hope that Denise will not be too traumatized after the next two weeks. As stories go, she will of course become a slave to the circle and be auctioned off at Norman's whim. You could even write two, or more, epilogues of what happens after two weeks. One could be that Denise becomes a slave and does everything that is asked of her, or two, she is traumatized so badly that she is hospitalized, or three, she exacts revenge of some kind. I think that Mrs. Miles should not be punished as she would have normally assumed that Denise is aware of what is going to happen as Denise is suitably dressed as a sub. THere were parts during the party that were confusing and rushed as who was doing what to who, was lacking in details. Please, write more of Denise and her new adventures.