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Click hereLouise looked at Jane and said, "Shall we go somewhere more comfortable and have a drink? And I'll continue." Louise stood as she said it
Jane was hooked on the story
"Sure."
Louise was going to say 'in the bar' but stopped herself before it left her lips, she thought about that as they walked back to the bar area - why hadn't she said that, did she think it would make her sound a prude or was it that she didn't want to put a limit on Jane's interpretation, she didn't know herself.
- COMMENTS
widowedidiotover 5 years agoI read the first page and had to skip the rest. this story is just a bunch of rambling and going nowhere. More than half the page is about her getting dressed. Now what makes you think a good story should describe each article of clothing a woman wears. and how she fitted it on? End of page one and they're still talking. but no action. What do you think would motivate me to keep reading a story with no clue as to where its leading to. Thers no suspense, no drama nor mystery components of which make a story. Take a cue and go find some classes to learn what makes a good story.
Anonymousover 17 years agoagain,,another knee trembler,,,heheheh truly wow factor,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,xxxx
