All Comments on 'A Night Out'

such a fertile mind you have

A magic spirit divorced from her humanity and struggling to make relationships is a great premise. Unfortunately, the rest of the story needs a lot of work. Past and present tense keep switching, and even with the mind control, the way the characters bounce between scenarios with barely any real reaction makes it read attention-deficit. The suggestion that the MC is transgender is the sort of aspect the whole story should be built around, rather than a throwaway plot device. Come back to this once you've had more practice, and you could make it much longer and much richer.

Changing the women's bodies and reducing the changes to hair color and cup size is narrow minded, off putting, and wholly unnecessary. I don't know why the story is tagged as futanari when that's not one of the main themes. This story is kind of a disaster.