All Comments on 'A Phone Call & A Contract'

by MRUyourAuthor

Sort by:
  • 1 Comment
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

Too detached. You gave us enough back information to understand what is happening and why. The scene is short, so there is little time to get a straight up wank out of it. It needs either more.drawn out action or more emotion/feeling to give us a reason to get drawn in. It's a solid start, but at this stage just a start.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous