A Place Beyond The Horizon Ch. 11

They get out, and Andrew asks Indi to show Aidan upstairs to the guest bedroom to use the shower and get changed. Aidan follows the diminutive, willowy girl as Andrew settles down onto a sun lounger next to Mara. They climb the stairs and turn left. Indi stands in front of a doorway and indicates inside.

"Shower," she says, "Towels are in there. I'll fetch your clothes and leave them on the bed."

She's standing in just her bikini, her grey eyes scanning the room.

"I guess we're going to Tokyo," Aidan says.

Indi frowns. "Yes."

"I, uh, wasn't aware that was an option until just now. Were you?"

"I go where Andrew says."

"Do you want to go to Tokyo?"

"I'm going to Tokyo. Let me go get your clothes."

Indi heads back out, leaving Aidan on his own. He can't work her out, but there is one phrase that keeps coming back to him, from what Andrew said over lunch: she came with the furniture, as if she was part of the deal.

He's still puzzling over it after the shower. He walks past the bed, with his clothes folded in a neat pile, out to the little balcony, wrapped only in a towel. The sun is high and bright, and his skin is drying in the heat of the day. In front of him, Los Angeles sprawls in all directions, out to the horizon.

"Have you fucked him yet?"

It's Andrew's voice, directly below. Aidan peers over the balcony, but can't see him.

"Why do you care?" Mara replies.

"It's just such a cliché."

"What is?"

"Fucking the personal trainer. I mean, it's the fodder of every celebrity rag that's ever existed. Telephoto lens shot of the two of you by a pool, naked. Or maybe entwined on a beach somewhere. It's been done to death."

"But why do you care?"

"I do care. I care about you."

"You have Indi for all that."

There is a pause.

"It's not the same, Mara."

"Sure, of course it's not. I'm not allowed the personal trainer, but you're allowed the... whatever she is."

"Maybe you should get yourself what I have, it's a lot simpler. They come in boy as well as girl. They're very good. You can take them anywhere."

He laughs.

"That's easier for you, you're low profile."

"Just trying to point out. I mean, personal trainer, though, seriously? You have all the downside and none of the upside."

"Oh, so now you want what's best for me?"

"Look, even if you could make it work, even if you could make it last, you know the price you'll pay. You've seen other people try it, with the age gap. Living life under the microscope, rumours always circulating because everyone's just waiting for him to find someone his own age. Are you really going to live like that?"

There is another pause, but it's a tense silence.

"So, what do you suggest?"

"You know what I suggest. You know that the offer still stands."

There is a sound behind him, and Aidan turns sharply. Indi is behind him, watching from the bedroom door.

"Never any good comes of that," she says quietly.

"I didn't, uh, I didn't mean to."

Indi merely shrugs and then walks away.

Aidan gets dressed quickly and goes back downstairs, feeling awkward at being caught out. Indi is in the kitchen, washing up, but she doesn't make eye contact. Mara is lying on a sun lounger with a full glass of white wine in her hand. Andrew is on his way to replace the bottle in the fridge, so Aidan goes over to where Mara is sitting.

"Good after the swim?" she asks.

"Yeah. I guess."

Mara frowns. "Look," she says, "Do you want to hang around longer? You could take my car and split if you want. I'll get a cab home after."

Aidan hesitates. Yes, this is an adult relationship.

"Sure," he replies.

"Keys are in my bag. Drive safe. I'll see you back at home later."

There's a look in her eyes, a cloud on the horizon.

"Sure," Aidan repeats.

---

Aidan is drifting. Out of Mara's house, he gravitates towards the beach, turning right, towards the distant bulk of Santa Monica pier. A wind is coming in from the ocean, whipping the sea into whitecaps, but it's not cold. His hands are in his pockets, and he can feel a weight pressing down on him, but he can't quite make out what it is.

Walking helps. He sticks to the track along the sand, watching cyclists and joggers go by. It feels surreal, somehow, to be here, a long way from home. Everyone around him seems to have their life in order but once again, Aidan feels like he's in a holding pattern. Mara had wanted time alone with Andrew, even after parading herself naked in front of Aidan this morning. He's wandering on his own now, instead, not knowing what her plans are this afternoon, only that he's not invited.

It's strange to think that he'll go home tonight and Mara will be there, and they'll talk about the day, plans for the next week, the little things, as if it was perfectly normal for him to be sharing a home with a movie star, or that it was fine for her to hook up with old lovers right in front of him.

He doesn't know what she wants from him, not with Andrew around. He remembers how it felt in Broken Hill, or in her place in Sydney, the violence and the passion, but that doesn't make sense if Andrew is part of her life as well. Mara had told Aidan that she needs him, but he just can't work out what she needs him for or why he's here.

As he dwells on all this, his feet are wandering of their own accord, approaching the pier and then taking the steps up to the wide wooden deck, threading through the crowds. On his left, there is a funfair with a Ferris wheel and a rollercoaster in full swing, music pumping. There are candy stalls. He leaves all of this behind though, heading to the lookout at the end. There are other people moving in the same direction. The sun is low in the sky, and they're gathering to watch the sunset from the end of the pier. Aidan finds himself drawn along with the flow.

At the end of the pier, there are wide steps down to a wooden lookout area and he walks up to the rails, gazing out over the churning sea. The wind is in his face now, fresh and clean, the air tinged with gold by the setting sun. He gets his phone out and calls Ant.

"Hey."

"Aidan, hey."

There is a noise, and conversation that he can't quite catch, apart from the mention of his name, then, "Hold on, let's do video."

The screen comes to life, showing Ant's face. He angles the phone to show that Theo is there too, in the background. His boyfriend waves.

"Wow, where are you?" Ant asks.

"Santa Monica pier. I'm in Los Angeles."

"Oh man, really? What? I thought you were in Australia."

"Nah, shipped out a few weeks ago."

"Celebrity lifestyle."

"I guess. How you going?"

"Good," Ant nods, "We're good. You know what it's like. Nothing much changes. But what about you? This looks exciting."

"Yeah. I don't know what the plan is, but she's uh, I... I guess it's confidential."

Ant laughs. "Yeah, totally. I was gonna leak everything to the paparazzi. In fact, they're on this call."

"Fuck off," Aidan replied, but he's grinning now, feeling better as he listens to his friend talking.

"You still got the gig, I assume?"

"And by the gig you mean...?"

"Personal trainer. However personal the training, I couldn't speculate."

"Yeah, she's keeping me around. We got a big role coming up."

"We?"

"Uh, I guess."

"As in, uh, we?" Ant repeats, stressing the last word.

Aidan pauses. "Look, do you really think there's a we?"

"I dunno. Just asking."

"For a friend?"

Aidan is bantering, but Ant's smile disappears instantly.

"Shit. No. I'm not... fuck. I didn't mean it to sound like that. I'm not, uh, fishing. This is all in the cone of silence, man."

"Hey, it's okay. I didn't think you were. I was just fucking."

There is an awkward pause.

"But, really, how are you Aidan?" Ant asks.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"I really don't know. Things are moving pretty quickly, but I don't know."

"I guess it's very different to running the gym with Rosa."

"Yeah. I'm struggling with it, really," Aidan confesses, "I've never done this before."

"I guess it's very different. To running the gym, I mean," he repeats.

Ant pauses again. Aidan draws a deep breath, taking the hint.

"How's the gym going, since I left?"

"The gym?" Ant echoes, "The gym's going fine, as far as I get to hear about these things."

Ant pauses.

"The gym appears to be the same as it ever was," he continues, laying emphasis on the word 'gym'.

"As far as you know," Theo calls out from off-screen.

Ant frowns and looks up at his boyfriend.

"Okay, you want to talk?" Ant asks Theo, curtly.

"Yeah."

"Here you go, then. Be my guest. Aidan, here's Theo. He's got a dissenting opinion."

The screen blurs and then it's Theo's face he's looking at. Theo doesn't look happy, looking up over the phone at his boyfriend.

"So, talk," Ant calls from off-screen.

"Uh, yeah. Aidan, hi," Theo grunts.

"Hi," Aidan replies, waiting.

"Look, I caught up with Arly."

Theo's eyes keep flicking up from the phone and back down. He's clearly uncomfortable.

"Arly? Okay. I didn't know you two were close."

"I suppose."

"He's established a back channel," Ant calls out, "Tell him, then. You wanted to."

"Yeah," Theo continues, "Look, she's been talking to Rosa. She's Team Rosa of course, but I guess that's old news, right?"

Aidan nods.

"So I caught up with her. I know Ant thinks this is interfering, but I, uh, just think it's important to keep the lines open."

"And she told you about Rosa's side of it?" Aidan asks.

"It's not about that. I mean, yeah, she has. Rosa painted her the full picture, but Arly's not dumb, she can read between the lines. She's known Rosa for years, she knows almost as good as you what's going through Rosa's head."

"And what's going through her head?"

Theo is silent for a moment. He looks worried.

"Well, that's it," Theo continues, "She hasn't caught up with Rosa for weeks. I mean, they're best friends but Rosa's always got an excuse. She's too busy, or she's not feeling well. Arly's the one who reached out to me. She doesn't think Rosa's in a good headspace right now."

Aidan can see how Theo is struggling to pick his words. The thought of his estranged wife suffering is fresh news. A stupid, childish part of him is thinking that it's good that she's facing the consequences of her actions, but there is the other part, the part that still cares for her. That part wins: he doesn't want to think of Rosa hurting, even after everything.

"I get it, Theo. But I don't see what I can do."

Theo is silent, looking mournfully into the lens.

"Say it," Ant calls from off-screen, but the abruptness has left his voice, "Say what you said to me."

Theo sighs. "I don't wanna heap shit on you Aidan. I love you, man. But, there's only one person who can fix this. It's you."

Theo passes the phone back to his boyfriend. Ant stares up from the screen and then shrugs.

"I guess that's all the news from our end," he says.

Aidan can only nod in reply. He doesn't trust himself to say anything.

"Anyway, take care," Ant continues, "Talk soon."

"Yeah. Thanks for taking the call."

Ant forces a smile and the screen goes blank.

Aidan slides his phone back into his pocket. He looks out at the ocean, at the rich orange glow of the setting sun. There are people everywhere around him on the end of the pier, all waiting for sunset, but Aidan finds himself staring out over the water, to the turbulent line where the ocean meets the sky. He thinks of Hardy, for some reason, of the way he'd confessed in such a careless fashion that he didn't have long to live, the way he turned into the wave and was gone: the god of second chances.

Aidan turns his back on the ocean, threading through the gathering crowds, up the steps and making his way back down the pier towards the shore. The Ferris wheel is lit up like a rainbow and there's music playing, but he passes it all by, taking the steps back down to the beach. The sand stretches out, wide and white, all the way down the coast to Venice and beyond, but he doesn't feel up to heading back to Mara's house.

Instead, he gravitates to the equipment set in the sand. There are climbing ropes and parallel bars, and beyond it all is a structure that draws him towards it: a row of towering steel ribs standing in the sand. Dangling from each are a pair of rings on chains. A girl is swinging from one set to the next, making her way along the structure out to the end. She swings all the way out to the last set of rings and then pivots, swinging back again. By the time Aidan gets there, she's gone.

There is an aching, hollow feeling inside him that he can't dispel. It's like the feeling when Rosa had come home, afterwards, after he knew she'd cheated on him. But now it's deeper, like an old scar that has been opened up again. He's looking down the rows of rings, out over the endless sand, and then the wild, heaving sea like burnished quicksilver in the sunset. The wind is in his face and the fiery, red orb of the sun hovers just above the horizon.

Aidan launches himself forward, covering the distance to the first set of rings in a few steps, grabbing the steel rings and propelling himself upwards. He swings out and back, throwing his weight forward again to build momentum and launch himself at the next set of rings. He twists, reaching out, spreading his arms wide as he leaves the old ring behind for the new, pulling himself forward, picking up speed. The next ring is in front of him, and he can feel his muscles beginning to strain against his bodyweight. He's breathing hard.

There is a fury in him now, and he powers on, connecting with the next ring, arcing upwards, feeling that fraction of a second of weightlessness before momentum carries him backwards once more, his muscles burning. He swings all the way back, suddenly weightless again, then surges forward to the last ring. The sun is in his eyes, but he finds it, grasping the steel tightly as his momentum propels him forward. He's built up speed, he's going too fast, and he swings out into thin air, anchored by one hand, the rest of him extended out into space.

His fingers lose their grip. His body is stretched out high above the white sand, his eyes dazzled by the sun, fixed at last on the horizon, unfurled in flight. For one brief moment, Aidan is soaring weightless in the void, his face turned to the wind, tears tracking down the sides of his face.

He's suspended between sky and earth, and for that one brief moment, he is free.

---

[Next chapter: Aidan confronts Rosa on the phone. Mara offers to take him with her to Tokyo. Aidan is losing sight of his way back to where he came from.

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