by razorbladepsychosis
Power's out, so how does he set the music playing in her bedroom? It is possible, of course, using a battery powered device, but odd that she would just happen to have such a device connected to speakers. Transistor radio? Boom box? Adding just three or four words saying the kind of device would remove what currently feels like an inconsistency.
... just HOW did he manage, in "a couple of minutes", to find "a huge box of candles tucked away in a cupboard in the kitchen."?
Feel?
Keep lighting matches?
Lighter?
Torch?
While the story is not without its faults, the readers and commenters must remember, this is not a professional author, just an ordinary person who wanted to write a story.
The good is that it has few if any grammatical errors..
OK, there are some holes in the story line.
Since it is his first submission it would be nice to give him a glimmer of hope, and yes there is one here..