All Comments on 'A Sibling Secret Pt. 01'

Utter, utter shit. Learn to write. Terrible pacing, utterly crap writing. Either you failed remedial English class, or you're a horny teenager trying to shit out a half-assed piece of erotica. Start over, crap.

Total crap

Enjoyed it

"Pinning her arms to the ground, I began to fuck her tight harder. As I did, she dug her nails in my back "She must have more than two arms then.either they are pinned or they arent .unless she has 6ft arms and can still scratch a back while pinned.

To those people who like to run down other people’s effort’s

and starting pulling apart their spelling and grammar and

then don’t have the balls to submit it using their login detail’s

and hind behind the “Anonymous” banner, I say this “ Put up or STFU!! ”

If you can do better!! Then let’s be seeing your effort’s....

And I've got the "balls " to sign my name to a comment

This setup has great potential keep going don’t let the negative people effect you.

Can't wait for part 2. Hard-on in hand...

"And I've got the "balls " to sign my name to a comment"

HAHAHA!!!!

Dotcom2099 is your real name?

HAHAHA!!!!

Fuck you. People can comment on here without an account at Lit, you douchebag. And even if they don't, anon comments are allowed.

Oh.... and I signed my "name" to my comment.

When you have a 'name' I can address my reply to you. We can have a conversation. When a comment is made by one of the undifferentiated anonymice, I cannot know which of the many is making each comment.

I appeal to all. Register a name or, if you don't want to do that, put some form of identifier at the end of your comment (as did DragonRider) to differentiate your comment from all those made by the other anonymice.

Lue

Yea i kinda liked it, short, sweet and believable too.

As for folk falling out of someone elses story or anothers comment is kinda childish dont ya think ?

Everyones entitled to thier opinion, thats why theres a comment box, it doesnt say slanging match box does it ??

Why readers slag off writers is beyond me, they have the nerve to put a story up for others to comment on now do they ??

Plus, dont forget where we are, reading incest stories others write for us, why slag someone off for that when your reading them in the first place eh, think on that if you will before giving the brave writer shit next time, thankyou 😇😇

Yes, a hot sister-brother story that cuts to the chase in the initial chapter. Hot, hard sex. In the next chapter you can go slower and have his sister go into more detail and show her brother just how horny she really is and ask him to do her more. Maybe staying there a few days ( so Mom doesn't go there or worry ) about her daughter and her brother bangs her really slow and long and hard and fast. That she tells him and he tells her their most private turn ons. This story has so much potential and let the story facts get details. Thank you.

The story was not "total crap". Had it been posted in the 'Erotic Couplings' it would be fairly OK. But writing a good story about a sexual relationship between siblings should be supposed to add a dimension beyond merely the characters naming each other 'Bro' and 'Sis'. Sexual engagement and activities between siblings means breaking a quite strong taboo in most cultures, and that should normally evoke a lot of emotions. Depicting some of those taboo related emotions and the tension between them and the carnal lust -- whether arising suddenly from the situation or having a longer history -- is where a story in the 'Incest/taboo' category can differentiate itself from any other 'fuck story' and really show the quality of writing.

In this story you briefly mention that 'Her calling me bro intensified the situation.' That's the only thing touching upon the taboo aspect. Why the sister starts mentally or in action to go down the sexual path with her brother, and what he thinks and feels about his sister doing this taboo thing or what he have felt about her before this happens, your readers are left in the dark. For that reson you get only 2* stars from me. AnonMoron

This story is worth about three stars. It has a generally good setup. There was no rhyme or reason for the two to just jump into the sack. Especially considering he had just found out she was a camgirl. When it come to incest, your characters need to break down the barriers that society imprints upon us. There is a lot of emotions to be explored well and truly before consummating, be it nervousness, hatred, thrill, etc. This chapter was too short to explore those things, and while you might explore them in future chapters they have already started. It was written well. I look forward to seeing where you take this story.

We only just got started so I hope there is so much more to this story to cum.

I have to ask...do you actually think about what you're trying to describe before you write the words down? Seriously! For example:

> Pinning her arms to the ground, I began to fuck her tight harder. As I did, she dug her nails

> in my back and moaned loudly into my ear.

Explain to me how that's supposed to work. 🤔 How in the fuck does she manage to get to your back if you're pinning her arms down?

I guess that keeping your narrative short was more important than writing a description of the character's actions that actually made good sense. I took one point off for the story being too short and another point off for not thinking things through. 3/5