A Simple Look

I was so very stoked about how she had mustered the will to go across the hall and see him that I needed relief from it. To her credit, she talked me through it. Told me what had happened. Her hand staying on me as she slowly described it. But it wasn't the same attention she would have given before.

Throughout the day, I anticipated the night to come. Planned how I could coax her again. Encourage her. Tonight had to be the night, if it was going to happen. Everyone was leaving tomorrow.

Maybe her distance with Bobby, and with me, was her having second thoughts. Reconsidering. Who could blame her? This was as 'out there' as being adventuresome got. If she had gone as far as she could, you couldn't blame her.

I had my words and approach carefully planned just in case she did want to continue.

Bobby

Something was up with her on Saturday.

The day started great when I found her outside taking in the sunrise. Kissing her deeply, she responded back like we could go ahead right there on the deck. I loved it.

But as the day picked up, things changed. I tried to get her to go with us to play golf, but she wouldn't hear of it. She only wanted to go to the gym.

Then, in the afternoon, I came home, hoping to see her. Maybe go for a walk. Hang out.

No such luck. She went for a long walk with my dad, and then disappeared for a drive. What was going on?

I even texted her a couple of times. Asked if she was alright.

She answered she was. That "everything's fine." But didn't say anything more.

Dinner would tell me more. The look on her face. How she responded.

Yeah, others would be around. But with how close we had gotten, I was sure she'd make it clear.

The closer it got to dinner, the more keyed-up I got. I couldn't remember having such anticipation ever before.

She was all I could think about.

...

8.

Saturday Night Dinner

Amy

As I got ready for dinner trying to make myself look as appealing as possible, inside I laughed at myself. The touch of make-up, my expensive blowout, and my red gloss, all couldn't push aside my angst in my heart. It was just the way it was.

My day had wound-up taking quite its own interesting path. From soaring with Bobby at sunrise, it was probably inevitable I'd have to make it back down to the ground. Thank goodness it had been a gentle descent, I suppose.

After my workout, I'd made it a point to seek out Alan. Now as I straightened my designer evening dress, checking and re-checking whether the v-neck came down too far, our talk resonated with me.

Why had I even brought this thing with Bobby up with him, I had asked myself more than once. Pulling on the thin, fitted fabric that clung so well, I again considered my reasons. Both good and bad.

The good side of me admitted some vague sense of needing to do it. That same good side of me that chose the one V-neck I had that only hinted where my cleavage started was also the better side that took the high ground. Alan was Bobby's father. That matters.

Alan and I had had our problems over twenty years, but we had pulled together always when it came to Fran and Bobby. We just had. So when I was losing my mind over Bobby and in the worst way, I thought it fitting I give Alan an idea about how crazy I was being.

Leaving the bathroom mirror, I went straight for the heels to slip on. The black heels to match the simple black dress for the evening. The black dress whose significance Alan would appreciate based on our history. And that Bobby would appreciate because of his instincts as a hungry young man.

Ah, and there was another sliver to this. The level somewhere tucked away when this talk had happened. That while time was moving on me, I could still have this sort of problem. This, of course, wasn't by any means why this was happening. But it was maybe something that would be noticed by the guy who now had moved on to the much younger spouse.

Our talk had happened while we walked around a nice lake nearby. A place I had resorted to often to clear my head and get air. A place we didn't get interrupted.

I was sure to cover the latest about he and Corine first. It was important to me that they were doing well and that was working. He appreciated that I cared, and I believe he saw that I genuinely did.

I brought things up as gently as I could. "There's something I need to run by you."

"Yeah? Go right ahead."

"Well, it has to do with Bobby."

"Uh oh. I hope things are alright. You guys look like you're getting along great."

I couldn't help a chuckle. "Uh yeah. That's part of it actually."

"Huh?"

This wasn't going to be easy. "It's hard to explain, Alan." Just how closely could I really describe this? "He and I have gotten close."

Alan smiled. "Amy, that's great. I'm happy to hear it."

I hoped he was going to keep that positivity.

Continuing, my eyes kept returning to his. I wanted to be as direct as I could.

"The first night we were all here, Rick thought he saw something. Was intrigued."

"What's that?"

"Um, he saw Bobby checking me out."

Alan stared back, doubtful. "Was he sure?"

I took a breath. "Rick was. I don't think I really was. The long and short of it is that I had a talk with Bobby. Turned out Rick was right."

Alan did a kind-of double take. A reaction that was accompanied by a slight grin.

"Bobby's twenty-two. Got a lot going for him. He definitely loves women."

"Alan, I'm his mother."

Alan nodded vigorously. "I know, I know. I'm just saying. He can come off that way, because... he looks a lot. He's probably always a little... restless."

He tried to put the next part delicately. "I don't think he was actually thinking of you that way."

I almost stopped in my tracks. Told him just how wrong he was. But I kept it together.

"Alan, as it turns out -- he was. And, uh, he is."

Alan's mouth dropped open.

I tried to head off giving away too many details. "I went ahead and checked. It didn't seem possible to me at first either. But, um, he's feeling it."

I wondered if I'd actually done it justice. But the deeper details seemed too hard to explain.

He pondered it a moment and then eyed me closely.

"Amy, the truth is you're a beautiful woman. You really are."

"Thank you for that, Alan."

"You're gorgeous. Brilliant. And, you're like this powerful spirit that he probably absolutely adores."

God, I hope so.

Alan brought the bad with the good though. "It's some phase, I bet. He's bored. Like I said, restless. And if he can even get your attention, well, it can't get more heady than that."

Walking along, I suddenly felt like I had been punched. "You think?"

"Of course. Don't you think so?"

I couldn't speak. I hadn't thought of it this way. Yeah, Bobby was pretty young by some standards. But he was mature in most ways. Graduated from college. Handling himself.

Alan picked up on my silence. Asked me directly. "You haven't taken this seriously, have you?"

I blinked hard. "Yeah. Honestly, I have."

He blurted a stunned laugh. "Seriously? I mean, what are you thinking? Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No." I said it right away. That was the last thing in the world I wanted.

Alan knows me very well and no doubt saw my mixed feelings about this. Probably taken back that there was any 'mix.'

"How do you feel?" He asked.

How did I feel? How honest should I be?

I spoke awkwardly. Plainly awkwardly. "Uh, at first, it was hard for me to believe. It was weird." I gulped. "But we've spent more time together."

"Spent more time together?"

I nodded.

He wasn't even sure what to ask. How to ask it.

"Alone?"

I nodded again. "Alone."

There was some silence. It was like he figured out the safest way to approach me.

He asked. "Do you have feelings for him? I mean... in that way?"

I blinked some more and then had to nod. "I do, Alan. Listen, I don't want you to hate me or anything."

"No. No, I don't."

"I hope not."

He struggled with wanting to know more, but then put it on out there.

"Can I ask you something?" He spoke.

"Yeah."

"You guys... you haven't acted on it, I guess."

I looked back at him. "Some."

His eyes bulged. "Wow."

"I know. 'Wow.' Hey, you can't be more surprised than me. Believe me."

He stayed quiet again. Obviously running this around in his head. When he spoke again it was kind of haltingly.

"You know, in a way, it's sort-of... fascinating."

I finally could breathe. "Isn't it?"

"I mean, he's young, virile. Aggressive. And like I said, you're gorgeous, Amy."

Finally, he was seeing it. Well, there was more to it than what he was describing. A lot more. Before I could tell him that, he leaned closer and lowered his voice.

"You haven't actually...."

"No." He kept watching me, and I went the extra step. "Not yet."

He stopped at once. "Not yet? Are you thinking about it?"

This was what I got for even bringing this up.

I answered softly. "I love him, Alan. I love him very much. And, well, he loves me. It turns out... he loves me that way, too."

He swayed and looked like he could easily fall.

"I don't know what to say." He eased it out.

"Tell me honestly what you think."

"Yeah? Honestly?"

I nodded hard. "Yeah. I want to know."

"Um, how do I put this?" He seemed like he was taking measure of me. Whether he could be as open as he wanted to be.

He finally plunged on.

"On one level, in a purely primal way, I say go for it. The thought of the two of you, with all that should get in the way of it, wanting each other that badly. And," he emphasized, "and seeing both of you in this weird place, like it's something you both need and need so badly, well... that's about as hot as it gets."

I blushed and dizzied. My hand grabbed his. "Thank you, Alan."

"Wait. I'm not finished."

"You're not?"

"Amy, the bottom line is that this is wild and all, but it's just... just lust. It's just for now."

"I don't know about that. Like I said we love each other."

"So, you think you're going to stay together? Once you become lovers, really lovers, that you'll stay that way?"

I didn't speak.

He was as gentle as he could be. "Or, will that part end, and then there will always be this leftover something that may be hard to work around."

I really didn't think it had to be like that, but I had no real basis to say so.

"Just think about it." He smiled. "And thank you for sharing this. It would have been damn easy not to."

We hugged.

After we parted, I wound up driving around. Didn't really talk to Bobby. Rick. Just got away.

And now standing in my heels and one of my two favorite black dresses, I got ready to go out to dinner.

Standing straight and finding my good smile, I reminded myself that I was the hostess tonight, and that I wanted everything to go well.

I wanted everyone to be happy.

But it didn't have to be perfect.

Rick

Patterson's turned out to be an excellent choice for our last night together, but I couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. Amy was sweet to me, but the liveliness I'd seen in her the last couple of days didn't seem to still be there. No question about it, that whole thing was totally up to her. I needed to go lightly with all that.

I can't exactly put my finger on it, but I got the impression Bobby caught on, too. On the way over to the restaurant, Amy had Fran and her husband ride with us in Amy's BMW. Bobby had already headed our way when Amy changed that up.

Dinner was fantastic, but even that was different. Amy loves her Chardonnay, occasionally has some red, or even samples tequila. Tonight was none of that. One glass of red with the meal was it.

Bobby played off that. I know him to love his beer. He drank it every time we hit the course while he was there. Yet, he too kept it to a glass of red with the meal.

On our way home, I steered things so that Bobby drove us back. Once Amy saw that I had arranged it, she handed her set of keys over to Bobby so Bobby could drive us home.

Sitting in the back worked because I had the vantage spot of watching the two of them up there together. I was probably nuts for looking at it this way, but there was almost this kind of tension between them on the way back.

Bobby glanced over a couple of times, and both times it drew looks back from her. But they mostly stayed quiet. I did what little talking that happened.

Feeling a little emboldened, I couldn't help myself. I spoke up with some subdued energy in my tone.

"Amy, you looked fantastic tonight. You really did."

Bobby had to chime in. "Yeah, you did. Absolutely beautiful."

She looked to Bobby. From where I was sitting, I couldn't tell if she was smiling or not. Probably, I figured.

"Thank you." She replied.

I piped up. "That's a lovely dress. Perfect for you."

Over to Bobby, I added, "As much as I like that one, her other black dress she likes is even better."

"Yeah?" Bobby was definitely intrigued.

"Rick...." Her tone tried to discourage me.

"Oh Amy," I kept going, "you know I love that one. It's so hot on you."

She didn't answer at first.

Bobby asserted himself. "You have another one? I bet you look great in it."

She laughed softly. "That's not the dress for a night like tonight."

Bobby shot right back. "What's it best for?"

Her face swept over to glare at him.

He asked. "How's it different?"

From the backseat, it seemed she contemplated her answer. After a second, her head eased back on the headrest. A glimpse of the back of her right arm appeared that her arm moved more over her middle.

It stayed aloft as she spoke. "The neckline goes too far for a night like tonight."

The way Bobby peered over, it looked like his attention was at her chest.

We were almost home.

In the dark silence of the car, I offered something to think about.

"Bobby, you gotta see it some time. She's beautiful in it."

He looked to her. "I'm sure she is."

After we got back, Bobby was fast over to open her car door and extend his hand.

She accepted his hand, and took her time swinging her legs over and getting out.

Bobby's eyes never left her.

...

Bobby

Dinner that night wasn't what I had expected, and she kept me off balance. Again. That had kept things interesting, I guess. But it sure wasn't easy.

She came downstairs, making an entrance like some movie star. Absolutely gorgeous in her black dress and heels. Some diamond earrings. Her blonde hair had a full, lively look. And that smile.

Wow.

She said her hellos around, and we all got ready to leave. I had hoped for some words between us that would be keeping our banter going, but it didn't happen. Just a pat to my arm that was as usual as if we hadn't been acting like we had since Wednesday.

When we headed to the cars, I went for hers, and she threw me when she told Fran for them to come with her. I really missed getting the time with her on the way over to the restaurant. Probably looked better to everyone else though. Nothing to draw attention.

That was how I wound-up looking at things during dinner. Maybe her distance served as being careful. I fought off the urge to think she'd had a change of heart. Surely that wasn't happening.

Before we were all sat at our table, we went to order drinks at the bar. The drinks were still being made when the maître d' came to take us to our table.

I volunteered to bring our drinks over when they were ready. For everyone else to go ahead to the table.

She appreciated that. Said she'd stick around and help me. And, I in turn appreciated that. Her first real sign that night that we were still close.

Patterson's was pretty busy that night, and it meant the bar was crowded. I had angled in to get us a spot at the bar, but there were people close on both sides of us also trying to get their drinks. It put her standing sideways in direction to the bar and almost touching to me.

I loved how we stood inches from each other. With her facing me, she had the option of either looking to her side towards the bartender or directing her eyes up and straight into mine. Luckily, she chose gazing up at me.

"You look gorgeous in that dress." I said.

She smiled. "Thank you. You're looking handsome yourself."

I'd gone with some fine wool trousers, a dress shirt, and some jeans, topped by a jacket. Interestingly, her eyes seemed to absorb all of it. As she took me in, she spoke casually.

"This place is packed."

"Yeah, but you picked well. They have great food here."

"Have you brought many dates here before?" She asked.

I was candid. "No, but I'd like to bring you sometime. Just us."

She didn't answer right away, and as the crowd increased, some movement put me in contact with her. My chest and my right arm brushed against her chest. It didn't last long. But it was a full, distinct press that had to have rubbed where her breasts were held at the top of the thin dress.

Immediately, I wondered if it had been somewhat sensual for her. We were already standing close enough for me to detect her lilac perfume she had chosen, and no doubt my best cologne wafted some. My glance to her face picked-up on her lips parting.

"You okay?" My hand found hers between us and held it. She squeezed back.

Leaving her eyes on mine an extended moment, she nodded.

With her hand still with mine, another movement from behind us swayed us tighter. This time our chests met, but also our hands touched to the crotch of my trousers, a trace that the back of her hand swept over my cock just under the wool.

Her eyes flashed to mine, so I know she got what she felt. When her brow tensed as if I had been intentional at all, part of me wanted to rebel. I squinted right back at her as if she were the offending one, and in a kind of rebuff I shifted her hand open in my direction, as if I was going to press her to me.

When our hands just lingered there, she had to have known I was teasing. Before I could let go of her hand, she called my bluff. Her open hand closed the narrow distance to resettle back where it had made contact. And when her hand again felt the solid roundness that was directly under the fabric, this time her palm there and not the back of her hand, it deliberately gripped and squeezed. First, the squeeze, and then a tug down, as if to take a measure of what was there.

Instinctively, I straightened in place, shocked.

Her reaction came instantly as well, but her mouth opened, and her brow raised. Her very next expression, still right into my eyes, was a kind of vulnerability. Her brow still knotted, but her eyes in a wince. As if she was in trouble.

Our exchange was cut short. The drinks were placed for us, and we gathered them. I would have to make another trip back up to get the rest of them, but we took what we could.

We said nothing as we got to the table. After I had brought the remaining drinks back, I sat in the open chair, and as it turned out, the seats everyone had taken put us facing one another. I met her gaze over as soon as I settled in.

It was a definite contemplation from her. Probably longer than she had intended. Coming off as serious. Like she was trying to understand something.

The table chatter took her look from me, and dinner progressed just fine. I saw her nurse a glass of red, and it struck me as a great idea, and I did the same.

I saw it as us both wanting to be very aware tonight. At least, that's how I took it. I knew I wanted it for myself.

And I wanted her fully into the night herself.

...

Saturday Night

9.

Amy

The drive back home from the restaurant became more intense than I had expected. Once Ricky got Bobby over into our car, I was reeling even more than ever. It seemed I was completely unable to create space from Bobby.