All Comments on 'A Very Long Journey - Pt. 01'

"Our wives and girlfriend understand our need to get away" - took a lot away from this story. Where is the separation anxiety, and guilt? No need for this it really changes the MC's likeability.

I think this is a great start.

Separation anxiety?

Being with a fever would damp that down.

I liked the explanation for the initial attack.

And the hints at the future plot.

Seems he is destined to be the leader of a great peoples.

Cheers

Amazing story! I just wonder why the MC teaches them his "English" - shouldn't he better learn THEIR language? (or did I misread that?) Another question: will he survive the (anticipated) jealosy of the males of the tribe ;-)

Really nice start, imaginative premise, and good world building. Some minor typos that need to be corrected, but overall a very good story.

Great Story! Waiting for the next installment!

Ok I only read the first page and decided to stop. It’s not your fault, I’m not into fishing, and the whole thing with Indians was just confusing. For me their was too much detail about everything. Maybe that’s how you get a novella. Not saying it’s bad. Just a journey I don’t wanna take just now.