Betrayal

BETRAYAL

"Hi, Hon? How was work? I have dinner for you in the fridge. I've gotta go. I'm meeting the girls to go shopping, remember? The mall stays open until nine. And then I'll come home. Probably by half past or something. Give me a kiss. I love you," and she rushed out the door, got into her car and drove off.

And let me guess. You'll come in with no bags, go directly to the shower, ignoring my questions about who was there, did you get anything, that sort of stuff? And then straight to bed, 'because you're so worn out.' And no sex for a couple of days at least.

You used to do this shopping thing every four to six weeks or longer, but now it's very couple of weeks. Usually a Wednesday night. And still no packages. She must think I'm a real dumbass. Maybe she is with the girls. Maybe not. She's just wearing regular clothes. Nothing special, fancy, or new. If she had a hot 'date' I would expect her to be more dressed up. Shit! Maybe she keeps the special clothes in her car!

Doesn't matter. After three years of marriage, maybe she just feels the need to go out during the week and have some 'me' time. Hell, every magazine is full of 'me time.'" 'If you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to care for anyone else." Horse crap!

We talk. We laugh. We do things together. Say we love each other a zillion times a day. Kiss when we get up in the morning, goodbye, all sorts of times. On the weekends we always do fun things together. It makes no sense. How can we seem so close while it sure seems like she's stepping out on me?

But tonight. Tonight the mystery will be resolved one way or another. God, how I hope she's shopping. I can't believe how much I love her. Hell, even the thought that she's with someone else. That someone else has his hands all over her. Is....is...Damn! Here come the friggin tears again and that horrible ache.

I can't continue like this. If she's cheating on me....the pain is going to be so much worse than the pain from the suspicion, but I have to know. I have to know, no matter what. What did the song say? 'Suspicion tearing me apart' or something like that? Well it is. And it's starting to ruin our relationship.

It's winter. It's dark already. It's been and hour. Let me check and see where her phone is. Fuck! It's that dead end circle at Lover's Leap. Almost a straight drop down at least 500 feet except for where the road comes up. No doubt about it. The shopping is not very good there. Only go there for one thing...

He collapsed to the floor. Oh, God, why? I thought we were so good together. She's never complained about a thing. My whole chest feels like it's ripping apart and letting my soul pour out. How could she do this to me? To us?

OK, time to get my shit together and find how who the hell is so much better than I am. I'll be in the truck. It's only about fifteen minutes there. I'm going to leave my phone here. Let me go online and get a movie. Ah, 'Jaws.' How appropriate. I'll start it to give me an alibi, just in case things get ugly.

Maybe my 'lovely wife' and her beau will take the short way down the hill. It'd serve them right. After betraying my trust, our marriage vows, all of her promises of fidelity....Dammit. I can't get the image of some other guy groping her...

After all, I'll have nothing to live for. Might as well spend the rest of my life in jail, unless I get up the guts to drive off the hill with them. Not a bad idea. I read about murder suicides all the time. Probably better than jail time.

God, I've loved her for so long. We've known each other since we were kids. But we got hot and heavy during my last two years of college, even though she stayed at home and worked. Then after college, I had some great offers, but settled for one here in our home town. She moved in within a week of my graduation and six months later we were married.

Yeah, we got married in a fever, but we were best friends first and had known everything about each other for ever. That's just it! We were best friends. How could you do this to a friend? To me?

OK. Lights out as I go up the hill. Don't want to spook 'em. Let me just walk up around the bend. FUCK! That's my brother's camper van! First, betrayed by my wife. Now betrayed by Bo? Please, Lord. Kill me now! They say friends and family stab you with the sharpest knife. But this feels more like a sledge hammer.

He quietly, but urgently approached the side of the vehicle. It was rocking and swaying. SHIT! Wait, voices. "Bo, oh, Bo. That feels so good. Do it harder. Harder. Oh, that's it. And, Rex? You can play with that thing to keep it hard, but I want all that stuff in me. Not on me. I feel so nasty going home with all of you guys' stuff in me. But I can't smell all spermy and crap.

"And, like I said. Ian's acting a little weird, so we're going to have to knock it off. This is the last time for a while. Or maybe forever."

"OK, Sam, but it's your loss. I don't think you can make it without the two of us fucking the hell out of you from time to time."

"Don't kid yourselves. Ian's a whole lot better at this than you guys are. And his mouth. God, I'm going to cum just thinking of it. Errrr! Here's one now!" She tensed, twitched a little and then Bo started to cum and squirted his load into her.

"Thanks, Bo. That was wonderful. Your turn, Rex. Get to it. Remember, we only have until nine and this is it for a while. So punish that thing of mine. What position do you want me in?"

"So, Sam. If he's so good, why are we doing this?"

"I don't know. Hell. We started this in high school. And then the four years while he was away in college. Even his last two years when we were supposed to be 'exclusive.' I guess it's a habit. I just have the need for you two now and again. It's...it's just different than with Ian.

"The biggest break we had was when I moved in with him and then married his ass. I love him to death, but I just got that 'itch' back and we started back up. Remember?

"And all that time, he's never suspected a thing. Never put two and two together. I guess when they say you're blinded by love. He was/is. I feel guilty some times. But this is just so much fun. I hate to give it up. And it's not like I'm not a great wife to him...

"But this is the end. So enjoy it. I'm going to become a baby factory and the most faithful wife in the world. Hell, he already thinks I'm off the pill and we're trying, but I didn't want to take the chance that one of you two would get me pregnant. My child would be too ugly.

"Heck. You guys will actually have to get real girlfriends if you want some nook. My store will be closed."

"Don't you think every couple of weeks has made him suspicious?"

"Well, that's why we only used to do it once a month or two. But I needed to get it out of my system. A last hoorah. But, like I said, he's acting weird, like so I'll have to make it up to him and not do this any more. Or at least not for a while. After I'm pregnant."

"What did you tell him you were doing?"

"Shopping."

"Well, maybe he's just pissed about all the stuff you bought."

"Shit!.....Shit! Shit! Shit! I never brought any packages home. God, I'm such a dumbass. No wonder he's acting suspicious and all pissy. OK. Finish up. I have to get to Walmart to buy some stuff. Every where else is going to be closed. It's almost nine.

"If he suspects.....He'll flip out. But he loves me so much....I'll commit to counseling, therapy, crawling on my knees. Anything I have to do to keep him. OK, Rex. Make it fast and hard. I want to cum one more time before I call it quits and go shopping."

The brothers looked at each other. They knew if they ever got caught, there'd be no forgiveness. No forgiveness for any of them. Rex walked to the bed...

John peaked in the curtain in time to see her flop onto her back and spread her legs so his other brother, Rex, could have a go. He was ready to rip the door off the camper and beat the shit out of all three. The ache was being replaced by a blank, empty space filled with hate. Betrayal! Betrayers! You all are going to pay for this....

He dashed quietly back to the truck. I thought this would come in handy. And he fastened a mover's blanket to the metal crash guard on the front of his truck. No scratches, hopefully... put it in four wheel hi. And.... No. Wait a second. Let me make a couple of calls on my burner phone.

"Hey, Mom. Is Bo there? I want to talk to him for a minute."

"No, John. He and Rex headed off to the, uh.... gym. They'll be back in an hour or so. They never stay long. Why don't you call back later. You know, like at nine or something."

"Alright. Wasn't important. I can talk to him tomorrow.

Let me dial another number. "Hello, Helen, Mom. Is Sam there? I'm trying to track her down to ask her something. What? She outside talking to her father?" In the friggin' dark? "No. That's alright. I'll just talk to her when she gets home. Nothing important. Have a great evening. Sorry to bother you."

So. Betrayed by my wife. Betrayed by my brothers. Betrayed by my mother. Betrayed by her mother. Hell, I'd be willing to bet that even the fathers knew. Or at least had an inkling. Everyone knew. Knew she'd been fucking around on me the whole time. And nobody said a word! Great to have such a supportive family. I wonder how many of 'our' friends knew? Hell, I wonder how many of my 'friends' knew? On with the paybacks!

Ian revved the truck, but crept to within about 20 feet of the van and kicked it. With 8 cylinders and 5.7 liters in four wheel drive he slammed into the back of the van. Blam! The back end crumpled and lifted into into the air. The front wheels flew off the road onto the shoulder.

All three occupants were thrown off the bed and onto the floor. They scurried to get up. "What the fuck? What happened?" Blam! Ian hit the van again. It flew into the safety railing, pivoted sideways and moved closer to the edge.

Well, one more should do it. As top heavy as that thing is with the AC unit, it should just flip right over the guard rail and start the trip to the bottom. And I might as well just join them.

The second impact caused Rex to hit a cabinet and open a gash in his scalp. He could feel the blood running. "FUCK! We're all going to die. Someone is really pissed."

He heard Sam screaming. "God. God, please. I am so, so sorry for what I've been doing. I swear that if you let me live I will never do it again. I will be the best, most faithful wife any man could want and work every day to make our love stronger. Please, Lord! I'm begging! Please let me live so I can make it up to Ian!"

Ian had backed off, ready for the third and final push. A voice inside asked what the hell he was doing. Reminded him that he was not a murderer and he still had a long life ahead of him. He didn't do anything wrong. They did. Why punish himself?

There was a feeling that he could find happiness again. He didn't believe that last part. But he spun the truck around and took off down the road.

Rex wiped the blood from his eyes, "Fuck! That looks like Ian's truck. He was going to kill us. Holy shit!"

"What? That was Ian! No, no, no, no. It wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to ever find out. We have to get to him. I have to explain. I can't lose him." Sobbing. "What have I done. Oh, my poor Ian. He must hate me. He must be in so much pain to even think about killing us. What? What have I done to my gentle giant?

"Hurry. Get this thing going. We have to catch up to him. He's probably headed home." They tried to pull away from the guard rail, but metal was pinned against the wheel. Rex and Bo got out their tools and worked to bend it back away from the tires. "Shit! He really fucked this thing up. I hope we can even make it to your house, Sam."

But they were about a good hour behind John.

He walked into his Mom's house. A blank, empty stare on his face. "High, Mom. Are Bo and Rex still AT THE FUCKING GYM? Fucking Sam?"

His Mom looked at his eyes and then to the floor. Tears filled her eyes, and a visage of grief painted her face. "Oh, Ian. You found out, didn't you?"

"Yes, Mom. And I almost killed the three of them!"

"Oh, Lord. No, Ian! I'm so sorry. I should have told you. I should have never let this go on. I, I...."

"You knew all along, didn't you? Knew they were doing it since high school? And you never told me? You could have stopped me from dating her. You could have stopped me from marrying her. Hell. Maybe you could have threatened her and made her quit.

"But instead you let it go on. And you covered for them. Why? How could you have done that? To me? I don't understand?"

"I don't know. You two were so perfect together. And it was clear you loved each other.....I don't know...I don't know. Can you ever forgive me?" And she continued to sob. Pain filled her heart and her soul. What kind of mother would have done this to her son? How? How had they all let this go on? It was so wrong. So very, very wrong.

"Did Dad know. Tell. Me. The. Fucking. Truth! No more lies!"

"I think he knew, but didn't want to think about it."

"Shit! The list is getting longer. Betrayed by my wife, my brothers, my parents.... And let me guess. Her Mom knew too." She nodded.

"But Helen thought you were so good for her and that she would quit....I....But when she didn't..."

He held up his hand. "I suspect they headed to my house first. They'll come here next. I've got to go." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She flinched at his touch. "Mom. Thank you for all, the wonderful things you have given me. I will always love you for that. But you have betrayed me in the worse possible manner. I will always fucking hate you for that..."

"No, Ian. Please. You need to understand... Please! I'm so sorry... what can I do to make it right?"

"Nothing, Mom. Not a fucking thing. We're way, way past 'make it right.' I'm leaving now. And you and Dad and my brothers will never see me again. Do not attempt to track me down or find me. If I ever see any of you again, I'm not sure I'll stop what I started at Lover's Leap. Good bye."

"Ian, please! Please. You can't go. Not like this. You have to understand!" She collapsed onto her knees and continued to cry into her palms. Her husband came in. "What the hell is going on? Are you OK? Did he hit you or something?"

"Worse. Much much worse. He found out about Sam and the boys. Those three have cost us our son. We'll never see him again! Ever! What on earth were we thinking? What on earth have we done?"

He walked out and drove to Sam's folk's house. Knocked on the door. "Ian! Uh, what are you doing here? Sam's not here. She's...."

"I know, Helen. She's at Lover's Leap fucking my brothers. Is that what you were going to tell me?" Shock filled her face. The moment she had dreaded for years was finally here.

She'd always thought that she could talk reason into him if/when it happened. But one look convinced her that there was nothing she could say to make things right. The marriage was done. Everything was done. Why had she ever thought it was alright not to tell him?

Helen looked at his anger filled, soulless eyes. OH, MY GOD. What have we done to this poor boy? She started to cry and held out her hands palm up. Begging for forgiveness. Pain and fear filled her. "Helen. You knew all about it. You could have told me any time in the last five years. But not only did you not tell me. You covered for her.

"So, here's the deal. Thank you for all the nice things you and your husband have done for me and welcoming me into your family. And. Curse. You. To. Fucking. Hell. For. Not. Telling. Me. You could have stopped it! You could have saved all of us from the pain that is happening.

"In any event. Too late. Way too late. I'm going away now. Forever. I will never talk to you or Sam again. All communications will be done through my lawyer. Don't try to find me. Tell Sam that if I see her again I will finish what I started tonight. There will be no forgiveness, no counseling, no reconciliation. Over, done.

"You might tell her that I heard them talking in the van. I appreciate her telling my brothers that at least I was not a failure in bed. I appreciate that. But all I will ever be able to think of his my brothers' hands all over her and fucking her. She can't ever take that back.

"Tell her to have a happy life.

"If you would, please give her my phone. And my fucking wedding ring. It obviously meant a lot more to me than to her. Or, hell, to any of you. Bye." He turned the phone on and walked back out the door. Helen just stared after him. Oh, that poor boy.

Within a few seconds, though, the phone rang. Yanking herself out of her thoughts she answered. "Ian. Oh, Ian. Thanks for answering. I am so, so sorry. I have to talk to you. I have to explain....please! Where are you? Ian, oh my Ian, what have I done to you....I?

"Sam! Sam! This is your Mom. Ian came by and dropped off the phone and his wedding ring. He said he was going away and will never see any of us again."

"Mom, No! I have to talk to him. I have to make it right!"

"No way to make this right, I'm thinking. You should have seen him, Sam. He looked like one of those walking dead men. It was scary. Are you OK?"

"Mom! He almost pushed us off Lover's Leap!"

"You deserved it! But then we all deserved it. Why don't you come home, dear, and we'll try to sort things out. He made it clear the marriage was over."

Her mom heard her wail of anguish and grief as she hung up.

Well, they're probably on their way to Helen's house. She'll be staying there for a while, I think. So, I'll stop by our house, pick up my suitcases and things and hit the road. If I head towards the interstate, I can find a hotel a ways from here, far enough away that they can't stumble upon me. If they're even going to fucking look.

Then get to work. Lot's to do. Bank transfers, charge cards, new direct deposit place for my work checks. And then tomorrow. Explain to my boss. Quit. Set up Zoom meeting with attorney.

And last but not least, figure out where I'm moving to. How's that song go? 'Heads California, tails Carolina?' Or is it the other way around? That doesn't help much since I'm in North Carolina. Don't think I want California. Maybe somewhere in between, the Rockies....."

LATER

Who says small towns don't need a computer guy. Two years and Computer Services has gotten so busy that this is the first time I've really been able to say the hell with it and get away in quite a while. Other than for an afternoon or something. Feels good.

And what a place! I love living here. Affordable, friendly, and in fifteen to twenty minutes I can be on a trail, hiking up into the mountains. And no crowds. Always loved these kinda hikes. May be tough on the way into the woods. Uphill most of the way. But, the reward is downhill most of the way home. So much better than the reverse.

Man, you hear about those folks that hike down into the Grand Canyon. Then have to hike all that stinkin' way back out. No thanks.

But dammit! It's been two years and I can't get the visions out of my head. The same freakin' movie scene. Over and over and over. Why can't I be a blank slate? Emotionless? When is the pain, the anger, the feelings of hate, the feelings of betrayal by everyone I loved, going to ease up?

And how could I have been such a dumbass? I should have known. I must have done something wrong. I must not have been man enough... All those feelings whirl through my mind without stop. How do I make them stop? Stop the chaos inside my skull. Work only helps a little.

I knew it wouldn't be easy. I loved her too much for it to be easy. But shit! My mind never stops. What if I can't ever move on? What if I can't ever be alright?

Too much noise for meditation and the freakin' 'quiet mind' just makes the movie clearer. Every detail. Shit!