All Comments on 'A Walk to Remember'

I'm reading this story and you are referring to the reader as "you". I'm a guy. How exactly do you think I could relate to this story? So right away you lose half your potential readers. You lost me with the first "you".

Third person POV is very difficult to pull off even for professional writers. Here on Literotica, it is usually used by absolute newbies and terminally lazy writers.

Get yourself out of the habit fast if you have any hopes of advancing beyond amateurish.

with this style --- where the central is a third person, with THE READER being the "you" --- is that, as the first poster said, "you" the reader have to be a woman, if the third person doing the "I" is a guy (and vice versa, for the other permutation). <p>

not only do "you" the author lose almost half to more than half once they ascertain that that's going on, the "inter-active" attempt has NEVER worked in all of the books, stories, scripts I have come across. it is awkward, unruly, narrow, BDSM-like-narcisistic, and ultimately unbelievable. rememeber, fiction is NOT REAL; but its goal is to sound AS WELL AS POSSIBLE, in terms of character creation, dialogues, what's going on out there in the larger world and how the characters you've created are interacting with it. <p>

but when you use the "you" (the READER) as the THE OTHER character, the reader is almost always and ALMOST immediately, too, say, "What the fuck! I would never do that!" Assuming they are the right gender, of gender. If they are not, then, as the other poster said, you have lost almost immediately all readership...

Mostly when writing for this site I get the chance to entertain. Tonight, I get to educate. True, the story was written in a different ‘voice’ than most stories – that’s because I wanted to try something different. Rather than being a narrative, I put the reader in the story.

The problem, you say, is that you are a guy. While I wouldn’t enjoy some guy doing the types of things that I describe to me personally you are of course not the target audience.

Why, you ask, would you write something that alienates your audience? This is because you are not the audience – it’s the many female readers that I have. By a wide margin (at least 6 to 1) the majority of the feedback and comments and requests that I get about my writings if from…. You guessed it, FEMALES.

So what to do if you are a guy? Well, take this story. Find some girl you wish you could get with. Fib a little and tell her you wrote her a story and send this to her. If it will get you laid in real life, you have my permission to pass this off as your own original work.

Lastly, Anonymous in arnold heights, I’m going to go one step further and personally help you out. Before you go spouting off about someone’s ‘habits’ and worrying about them being ‘amateurish’ you should probably look at the volume of work the author has produced. If you had, you would see that for the past 2 years I have been one of the most read authors on this site. That my stories are routinely among the ‘Top’ lists for their categories and several of the works that have been posted here by me have actually made it into print in ‘Confession’ magazines.

Now you know. And as G.I. spent my childhood informing me – knowing is half the battle.

Happy reading!

P.S. I do enjoy feedback - that's why I leave the option open. However I feel that feedback is an invitation to discuss works and take the opportunity to do so when so moved. Your comments are both valid and appreciated, I just wanted to make sure that you realized that there is more to any story than just your perception of said work. ;)