All Comments on 'A Wife's Revenge Ch. 03'

Outstanding! Well written, despite a fair number of typos. The characterizations are excellent, even for relatively minor characters. I particularly appreciate the multi-layered nature of the two main characters, and the fact that both are fighting their own demons. And that, ultimately, the key is combining love and communication.

This MC has got to be a nut. Animals will mate, one after the other, not caring who or what , was there before them, but we as humans are supposed to be better than that! If she had 2 in the twat at one time, she may bow be a 'handy' gal. Time and a little to drink, will tell. BTB would have been kinder for him and her.

This "Plot" is neither BTB nor RAAC worthy, it is much too far-fetched.

Since this is Lit this in and on itself wouldn´t be an issue

but even the copulation in CH1-CH3 is not good enough (or reading like the result of an hormoneinduced horny male teenager)

So stoy sucks, resultion is therefore a loose-loose (see above) situation and the wanking faktor is almonst non existing...

conclusion:

not rate worthy, sorry

All of this is my oppinion and might differ to other peoples opinion (I heard somewhere that this is a real possibilite)

OK, I put this comment in on chap 1 by mistake, but: How come he's driving the van in later parts of this chapter, AFTER he crashed into rocks at the gravel pit. Plus, when did he have time to sabotage Darrne's car?

All of her shit due to he was honest after a company party he got drunk at and seduced by an intern while he was getting nothing form his wife for years due to PPD (maybe). She went vendetta on him for nearly 6 months of gang-fucking, over his ONE drunk seduced fuck... Sorry this whole story sucked from top to bottom.

/

But hark the overly detailed sex scenes will surely give the mastarbating wankers their jollies.

/

Way to damn long for what it was.... As I said on Part 1, he needed to come clean with Bill and then let Bill see Darren sent video's. If nothing then post them all on the web - then walk away from the slut, but to endure this - where were the marriage counselors?

/

2*, Hooyah

While the fundamentals of writing deserve a better score than I can give it, the overall plot is so confused, misguided and just wrong that it defies explanation. It's feels like two different types of stories were mashed together in the bottom of shit pile and somehow it all came up roses. The start was all the pain of the standard cheating wife tale and it somehow morphed into a weird blend of revenge and reconciliation.

I think the writer has potential, but needs to find direction to succeed. Whether it is fair or not, LW is a tough audience and it gets even tougher if you try to please every faction of that audience.

There were too many long sex scenes that didn't add to the story

Try not to use the word "stuff" three times in the same sentence. -3-

With all that occurred, all the honesty they discussed, sue never explained her sizable private account. And he’s supposed to trust her?

Great life story but a bit fairey tale

Really, after 4-5months of videos, he had enough to get mom declared unfit, especially in a God fearin’ State like Texas, and get a divorce on mental cruelty.

Too long. Nicely written but too long

Enjoyed this storey very much, very well written. A very good ending. Hope you write more stories.

More tranney stories , no man fuck the kids could ever accept a situation his wife put him threw she became a skank of the worst kind .. Having children means you set examples , she has put herself into the realm of the dark she will never return , it is now part of her being. This is not a bad tooth to be pulled, it's a life changer . These writers have to have some assemblage of normalcy , Looks like only losers' are writing these stories , same job description same wife types with twisted ego and a touch of depravity. Is it the time's , I am not a Muslim but if a wife did what she did to me in my prime years I would be in jail . Where to American orientated values , there is never religion back-drop in ant of these stories. There has to be a re-evaluation on content. 'An out of the story from beginning to end should be required' . Standards should be set . goals!

Well, this was a RAAC story to end all RAAC stories and, if they can't get any better than this, I HOPE, HOPE, HOPE it does end them all. Just looking at this from the woman's perspective: here we have a guy who screwed up - literally. Not good. And his punishment by his loving wife? Bring down all hell onto him. She turned from postpartum depressed wife to the slut from hell. And yet our idiot hero can't seem to realize this despicable excuse for a wife is a GOD-AWFUL PERSON! And so he tries to get back and she screws up again, and he tries to get back to her, and she ... you get it. And, in the end HE RECONCILES WITH THE SLUT! I suppose he got what he earned, but not what he deserved. And loving Suzie? She had an entire bakery of cakes and ATE THEM TOO! Truly, truly awful, and a colossal miss of situation and honest human reactions. BTW, you really to learn that the objects of prepositions are objective pronouns! (ME, NOT I!). 1 star seems generous.

The author overshot the mark when he set the depths of the wife's disrespect and cruelty toward her husband in the aftermath of his episode of infidelity. There was no possibility of a healthy, justifiable reconciliation given how atrociously she conducted herself. Thanks for trying, Raulmerez1. Better luck next time.

2**

Really well written, author has genuine writing skills. Well developed characters. Having said that, completely unbelievable plot, all revolting characters except for Amanda. Dad was probably the worst character.

Keep writing, you’re good, but maybe take a step back and think about reality. Wimp to Rambo after a single phone call? Nope, it doesn’t work like that.

Cheers

I was hoping Chase would end up with Jan. Oh well. I cheated on my wife after our son was born. She didn’t want anything to do with sex, so I cheated one time. Things were never the same. We did split but worked hard to get back together. Eventually I was ducked by her as she cheated on me. I was in a bad place to allow it to go on. We probably would have divorced but she came down with cancer and died. I wish I had made better choices in how I treated her, so I take half the responsibilities for all that happened. Hindsight. Any it was good reading even if was over the top in abuse.

This is one fucked up couple... they deserve each other.

The story was a little all over the place. I think your original concept was all right but you went all over the place. I do not envision a reconciliation between them as infidelity runs rampant. Non the less keep writing you had some great sections in your stories.

I am ready to read more of your work. Good ending, their marriage and relationship will probably work out, but you left it open. That is how life is.

Personally, I think the story was too long. I found myself skipping scenes and trying to follow just the main plot. Your story; your end, but realistically there is no way a one drunken one night indiscretion, triggered by sickness in the wife in a man deprived of sex, can be equaled to the sexual deviations and abjections she allowed herself to be involved with. Seeking a revenge many years after the husband's infidelity is not revenge, it's an excuse to embrace a behavior. The truth is she wanted to be unfaithful and experiment with multiple-partner sex outside the marriage and found herself a man willing to take her there and beyond. No love survives so many sexually depraved events like that. No psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor, priest, or mental health worker can cure "slutiness" or promiscuity. Same way nobody can cure homosexuality. Sluts and promiscuous people like homosexuals are born that way. It isn't a sickness, it's a sexual preference. With the vast amount of pictures and videos he legally gathered showing her depraved behavior, Chase had more than a good chance in court of getting to be legally the primary or even the sole caretaker of those girls, he was willing to sacrifice so much. Your sex scenes were were good and showed passion and creativity. You have potential as a writer. Start with shorter stories. Thanks for the story, the effort and the time it took to write it.

I enjoyed the story. Hope, there will be more.

Excellent Story - interesting people

Your didn’t follow the standard formulas and took unexpected turns

An interesting fantasy. However, I can't imagine any taking a wife back after the hell that bitch put him through.

Epilogue: everyone got AIDS, chlamydia, herpes, and candida.

What the hell was wrong with Chase? Cheated on is bad, the wife is crazy, yet Chase seems directionless. Move on Chase, it is not the first divorce to occur.

Very good writing technique. Keep writing and ignore the bashers. You put a lot into characters and plot and sex scene description.

Try a shorter story next

The amount of anonymous posters here should tell you that you wrote a RAAC cucky boy jerkoff story. These cowardly fucks fawn over this shit.

So you want an honest take on your initial offering? Despite its length, you did write anything special. This crazy slutwife revenge has been done a few times here. You though made the husband more of a pathetic excuse for manhood. You followed the same tired guidelines that so many others have done.

None of your chapters got a +4 rating, maybe write about a husband with testicular fortitude and self respect in dealing with a mental slutwife. These RAAC cucky boys have enough shit to beat off their skin tag sized dicks....

Had potential, but isn't anything special

What a pathetic man.

Wow… was there anyway to make him cuckier still ? It’s almost as if the MC cherishes the degradations and humiliations heaped on him… loves the feeling of being a cuck.. a wimp.. and revels in feeling sorry for himself each time his cum soaked slut comes home!!!

If these stories don't do anything more than me you think, that;s a good thing.

Your story punched me in the gut, doubled me over, and drew tears from my eyes. It was so real and raw. It was unlike any story I've read on this site. While I myself would not likely choose many of the same responses, it felt like I was truly looking over the shoulder of a dramatic horror show. Mission accomplished dear author!

Quite a rollercoaster. I could see it going the BTB way but I am glad it went towards reconciliation.

What can I say, I like happy endings.

good lord how could he stay as long as he did let alone keep her! Such a used whore and how did she not get diseased?

How could this guy ever touch her again after what happened in the beginning. She tells him she's going to screw this Darren and if he doesn't accept it she's going to ruin his life, take his daughters away marry Darren and he'll be the father, she takes his gun, cuts off his funds (don't know how she did that when he owns his own company, oh yeah they were going to take his company away then she screws half the county in every orifice she has with how many guys and he takes her back? She must have every STD there is. I wouldn't touch her with some other guys dick let alone mine. Makes no sense but I didn't write the story'

I came to this story via a BTB story someone wrote in reaction or his own version of your story “A wife’s revenge 01” because he was so angry after reading the first part. I did not get that angry but I’ll admit it became a very haunting story but in the back of my mind I knew it was a BTB and just had to bide my time and this bitch WILL be BURNED it was just a matter of when. But it turned out as a RAAC (Reconciliation at all cost) story – disappointing. But … YOUR STORY -YOUR RIGHT. If this really your first story, then you are a very good writer and the future augurs very well for you if you keep it up. I think you’ll be a writer to watch in future. I believe in the adage “He who criticizes must have the heart to help – and criticism should never reach a point where it becomes totally negative for that helps no one.” It seems that you stretched the last part (Part 3.) it is as if you needed to cross all the T’s and dot all the I’s. This story could have been told 20 pages shorter. There is a technique that many writers use. The have an Epilogue at the end and in it they sum up and bring the story to a close very quickly. You do not have to know and understand all that’s going in the minds of our protagonist and antagonist. It belabours the point. It is as if you constantly tried to tell us how sorry she was for what she did to him It was not only humiliating but downright torturous. We know that. Now get to the point – let him burn her and move on. But no – you had to let him have his fun as well and explore other women including the 18-year old very sexy babysitter to rub her nose in it because it seems that he had to have experienced and do things to his new partners so it makes sense when he does it to her even if it was a revenge fuck. By all accounts it seems their sex-life was very ordinary very bland! But … all and all a very enjoyable read. Keep it up! 4-Stars!

Bullshit! First he has one indiscretion, and she goes out and fucks the whole county ,over and over again. Two, there is no way she is not loaded with STDs. No one should go near her until she has seen a doctor two or three times. Third, she keeps telling him she loves him when she doesn't even know the meaning of those words. Fourth, she is not broken, she's trashed , not repairable, no matter how much she thinks she can reform. Fifth, at some point she will do it again, and this time he will be destoried. They have already had a threesome, but you did not give us details of the event, leaving it open for a few more chapters. Point being that soon Lois may move in, everything is fine for a while, then the girls want a girl"s night out, and here we go again. No, she totaled herself, going back to 'asshole' time after time, being gangbanged more times than she can remember, and be clean?? As I said before, 'bullshit' we are not as dumb as your boy, and we are not just talking crabs or gono, we're talking serious disease. I know I could go on and on, but this is just a story, right? What bothers me is your belief that they could reconcile, after what she had done.

XYZ

Good story, excellent writing, but he should have married Jan and give her children...

Can't give very high marks. Long twisted tale that bordered on the unbelievable. Man or woman, who would ever trust again. Especially the part about coming home after her nights out and saying "I love you". Sorry. It's your story, and I hope some people liked it, because you do have talent as an author, but I just felt like at the end it was a waste of my time.

"Do you think I'm such a slut" Yes one that even a completely pathetic emasculated septic tank as our MC wouldn't touch with an hiv infected cock with several rubbers on. Just having children as side characters near filth like those two, especially her is dripping fresh pus.

ZEROZEROZERO. Worst most tedious boring pathetic pitiful imbecilic cuck slut monstrocity ever. Could do nothing but skim to the end to give this review.

You're a good writer, but your moral values are skewed.

Good story line but dragged out too long. Wife fucks then comes home and declares her love for Chase?

Couple should have gone their separate ways & Chase should have made Jan his new love! Keep writing, please!

Long pathetic and psychotic tale of two mentally challenged fuckups in their own version of a dysfunctional marriage. Do I need to say more? Sound like an interesting story? Draw your own conclusions.

I just found it by accident. In your introduction, you asked for advice. Those that thought it was too long are right -- it could have been tightened up a lot. You need to consider how others will read your sentences. Often, you have two phrases that are indeed connected, but the way you write them results in a run-on sentence that is hard to understand. Keep them simple; "this happened, and that happened". Or make two sentences. I liked the story overall and gave it a 4, so don't get discouraged. Microsoft grammar and spell check will find some of your errors, but a live editor is the best route. I have been a writer all of my life (I'm 78) and I still have my wife (a language arts teacher) read my work as I progress. Most of what I write is technical, so if she can understand what I write, I have been successful. During my 9 years of higher education, I took courses in English literature, creative writing, business communication and Technical writing. Shifting gears to use the correct style for a contract (for instance GM requires the "Chicago Technical Style" to conform with corporate requirements, the Japanese have another style, and our American engineering publications require a very different style; oh, and the US Government and the United Nations require very demanding styles) makes my life interesting, but also keeps me, and the readers, from being disappointed or bored). Your writing needs to have a simple, grammatical style . Stay away from padding sentences with extra words and phrases that are not necessary. This kind of writing requires shorter sentences, simpler words, correct grammar and punctuation. Period. You don't know your audience, so shoot for a middle ground between Short and choppy and long-winded. Best of luck -- I look forward to seeing your work.

Ditto

I don't know about this story. I read it all the way thru (typos and all), and waited to comment at the end. I really didn't care for the first 2 pages or first half of chapter one (part of it seemed too far fetched, especially her revenge part of it , complete with the PI and her boss), but with the introduction of Candy (Jan), it got better. I really liked chapter 2, and chapter 3. As an optimist, I felt some of it could happen. Jan getting called in to replace Jillian while she help[ed take care of her dad was a nice way to help her get her life together (the chance that Jan asked for). I really hoped she would have been in more of chapter 2 and 3 other than a barely mention. I think if she had been introduced to Susie, she might have been able to give Susie some insights into what she's feeling (BTDT survived it). It might have helped having a woman's perspective on that. As for Lois, she just wanted to get laid by a real lover (especially after her divorce), and after hearing Susie's stories about Chase, she wanted to find out if he was as good as she said he was.

It bouncing around so much I found myself going back a paragraph or 2 to to under stand what was being said or happened. The part of Darrel and Tony surviving the crash and fire seemed a little far fetched, and odd, unless it wasn't much of an embankment that they drove down to reach the river. Shouldn't the video of the fight been able to keep them locked up longer than it did? Especially since they had weapons and could have killed him. It's still assault even if they used the butt of the gun. It was also premeditated since they took the gun with them (found in the rear seat of the burning car), as the video showed them taking it out of the car with plans to use it.

I really did like chapters 2 and 3 though, as they were really well written, and most of the action happened in it.

It wasn't the usual "Loving Wives" Cuckold story that is normally found here, and didn't follow the standard format like all of the other Cuckold stories. Yes it was a cuckold story, but with a twist that the wife wasn't in control of her actions, and actually enjoyed some of it, even if it was taken too far. Some very original thinking and writing was involved in it, that probably won't be seen in another story for quite some time.

At least there were no Army Rangers, Navy Seals, Ninjas or any other special forces types used or hurt in this story (like so many others). That alone made it probable, not necessarily believable in reality, but it could happen. I've seen stranger things happen in real life.

I want to personally Thank You for writing it and sharing it with us. I'm also going to favorite it, so I can read it again.

The right ing is generally good but the author twists the main characters in totally unbelievable directions. Her actions are so unbelievably over the top that no sane husband could ever respect, trust or love her again. After all that, what husband would ever entertain bondage fantasies with her? Come on!

What a weakling

Rantings from the rubber room.

Mental health is no joke but what she did deserves nothing less than a divorce. Yes, the hubby fucked up 1st, but what she did was way beyond anything he did and divorce should've been the only option.

"People make stupid choices." So do authors. Another weak, needy, unprincipled cuck of LW husband character... how "original". "Mental health" claims usually ARE a joke, but trying to use them as an excuse in this story for a RAAC is without question a joke. No man would take the slut back, and IRL it would be obvious she's an unfit mother. The cuck's father is also written as a cunt of a man. Writing this as a RAAC is morally tone death and utterly divorced from reality.

The story is well written but it would be a cold day in hell to take the wife back. I would have used the videos to prove she was an unfit mother and kicked her to the curb after making sure both sides of the family received their copies

For me, the most difficult part to believe was excusing the cruelty the wife chose to exhibit. The defense of, " it wasnt me. I couldn't control myself." Is beyond weak. SHE made decisions to be hatefully evil and cruel. Her boss just took it up s couple notches and she held on for the ride.

He cheated and then confessed.... if she really believes he'd been having sex with Emily all Summer, why would she think he was so screwy that he'd get away with it for months and *then* come home, smelling of booze and sex, and confess...? Does she really think she married an idiot...?

And she'd been having sex for months *before* deciding to RUB his nose in it... to *intentionally* humiliate him...

And she says they hired the P.I. to keep an eye on him, to ensure he didn't off himself. If he'd decided to hang himself, he'd have been long dead before the P.I. could have prevented it. And what if he opted to jump from a bridge or building? To run a car into a bridge?

What a hateful bitch to *know* she'd already done more than him *before* humiliating him or doing something she actually thought stood a chance of causing him to kill himself.

Any *person* who wouldn't immediately hate her it's damaged goods. I'd have left her on the floor when they dropped her off. Would have been sending all of those videos to friends and family.

Read like it was written on meth. Too many moving parts, and a plotline that screams along with no rhythm or readability. This is a good story but needs a giant edit, some compaction of scenes and a few characters either merged or eliminated. Chaotic is the best word to describe it. Good story, but too convoluted. 3/5.

I managed to get through the story only to see if it ended in the forgone conclusion you set up in the first chapter..Reasonably well written and could have been really enjoyable if you tried to be realistic to make the story plausible. You have got to understand that you can't expect your readers to except and believe that a real life husband would do the things your character(husband) did and more importantly did not do. That made reading hard. The ending is totally unbelievable and unrealistic you actually tanked whatever was good about your writing. Try to make your fiction realistic in any future stories. It allows readers to read it easier, hence enjoy it more. A famous fiction writer once wrote. Fiction does not work unless it's believable to the reader even though knowing it is fiction. Gave you 2 stars first chapter. This ending

earned 0 stars,it's simply not believable. JZK

Agree with others; a well written story. However, why on earth would anyone continue to open the messages and follow links sent from Darren? After the first one (surprise) I wouldn't look at any of the messages.

Feel like Jan could have had a larger role in the reconciliation. Believe Jan and Susie should have been introduced to each other at some point. Felt like Jan just fell completely out of the story.

What about therapy for both Chase and Susie?

Was Darren ever prosecuted for his assault on Chase? Was surprised there wasn't more about that episode.

Would have thrown Dad out of the house when he started to tell me to "grow a pair".

In the end the RAAC was not believable to me. After all the cuckold texts, videos, etc., reconciling is just not believable.

mfj

Too many emotions with each of the two main characters. One moment I felt empathy for him, soon after for her. A real roller coaster ride. But the ending, beyond expectations, just was not as I expected.

Nope . The only thing here is that someone writing it might think they built a plot . Nobody with any self worth would survive together. This was pur sewage while they poured rotted puss in each other wounds because they loved each other. The foul stench of the two of them particularly her . She got burned out that is why she quit just like any othjer burned out old junkie . So unrealistic that two humans could treat each other worse than human child trafficers and pretend they love each other.

You need to highlight their sickness not pretend they should or could raise spawn. The thick layers of stupid skin just aren't possible.

Rambling, circumvoluting nonsense. Sometimes, a story just needs to..... end. Edit this down to 15K words and walk away.

My god! I can only say thank god the writer stopped writing! I hope he killer himself. Poor guy was mentally o deranged! The story that he wrote shows just how badly his mind was fucked up!! God please give his soul some peace now!

I'm glad it worked out for them...but i couldn't/wouldn't have been able to forgive her for that level of disrespect...what did she do with the hotwife tattoo...cuz that's gonna have creeps hitting on her ad nauseam

Very very bad story like shit.

this is one of the most pitiful stories i have, ever, read. why did you make him such a wimp? he spent more time apologizing than he did breathing. he makes her mad & she calls darren. how stupid can one guy be? what happened to all the money she took out of their joint accounts. there was no,real, explanation of how she got $20,000 in a savings account.

i just hate wimps. that last stunt she pulled by calling darren would have been the last straw for me. i hope he likes sleeping with one eye open.

The ending is like a person who, having gotten rid of AIDS, asks to be re-infected. Insanity writ large.

You desperately need an editor.

And one of the MCs Jan who was such an important part is completely written out of the last part. Not good enough

Ilyen nincs a világon se ,amikor egy kétgyermekes család anya bandarobbanással szexel rengeteg férfival ,totál részegen hozzák haza a férfiak,mindezt hónapokon át teszi és végül a férje és ő úsznak a boldogságban és kivirágzott szerelmük fényében ! Mi a biztosíték ,hogy nem folytatja Sue a bandázó szexet!? Ez undorító ,méltatlan befejezés!!!

Weak man who got played got a slut in return and happy about it. It's a cuck story.

These two getting back to gather is insane. First, the wife was the perfect wife and mother until her husband cheated, and then she went full-blown Martian Slut Ray. To call this worthless drivel is to impugn the worthlessness of legitimate worthless drivel.

Weak as piss - both the MC and the author! How could anyone write such crap that flies in the face of any reality.

Thiswas one of those super pathetic stories. Not a single redeeming quality to anyone. i actually feel for the kids...

But then what can u expect from a latino cuck writer... who only grew up watching his mom get fucked 24 ways each day by differnt men? He grew up considering it normal!,

Well written, could have been shorter and still been well written. I am ok when a couple gets back together and save their marriage.i am divorced twice and I have no regrets of parting with each woman . I would never have trusted her again and sure as hell never ended up with her. Yes I as really disappointed in your ending.

Second reading, moved from 3 to 4 stars.

Absolute pond scum. This writer should be so glad, this site needs many more cuck writer and this author has joined the ranks. Unbelievable race and our super duper mc totally overlooked how wifey was screwing her boss way before the events recounted here. Utter drivel.

I'm sorry, but there's no way anyone with any self respect would get back with that girl. And the dad encouraging them to get back together as well is unrealistic as all hell. Why the hell would anyone want their son to get back with someone who did that?

great story. good plot, good timing and the story held me from start to finish, five plus stars.

I could not finish this story. Way too much rambling on. She did more than was acceptable, no self respecting man/ husband would take the abuse she piled on him. All the surveillance photo should be sent to all her contacts and burn the bitch. Divorce would be the only option. Story is way too long and repetitive.

Cum dump 789, cuck 1...and then takes her back. Please!!!!

No way anyone could get back with that cum dump unless you wanted AIDS.

Well written, but, not taking that into my bed again. Why the fuck didn't he do to Darren what he did the last day of the first day and repeatedly also no freaking way she didn't infect his ass.

The whole story is very good. The building of characters, the plot, everything. This last part was somehow disappointing. It just felt inconsistent with the previous parts. However, I can't imagine how to do it better if I want reconsolidation.

and another thing, Why was Darren not in hospital or jail?

This is my second rime around. I reread it. To tell you the truth I could hardly remember. When I got to the end I read my reaction to this story and I must say I still agree with my first comments as anonymous. And I agree because I saod first time around that you’re a very good writer. I concur because you ARE. I understand the story better the next time around. There were doubt in both their minds and only through honesty could they go forward. And by living together again they could face their problems as a team. Thanks for writing and sharing! I’m from South Africa!

Guy was a sucker and pussy I would have dumped that cunt really fast !

I have to agree with all the comments, first off I don't care if u r the wife or husband there is no way that is going to happen, after the first set of pics and or video Mom and Dad are.getting them to see what kind of a girl they raised, and then when his dad told him to grow a pair lol I would definitely showed him then and say what would you do Dad, and for threatening about taking the kids, I don't think there is a court in this country that after seeing pics and videos would ever.give her custody of anything Just my opinion

why does he apologize over and over again? Tell her once and for all that he will never trust her ass again and as long as he wants to stay with her for the sex that is how it will be. However, he should have dumped her ass long ago.

Things get complicated when people stray. The author embraced those complexities, explored them realistically, and came to a strongly happy ending with a couple knowing they had always been in love. I enjoyed it very much.

What happen to the evidence he was gathering? The cloned phone? He would have known What was going on with her friends, Brian and Darren. That was my issue with this Chapter.

Two of the worst despicables I've ever read... both totally irredeemable characters to the core... I can only think of that old saying, "it takes one to know one"... the writer definitely knows his characters... intimately... yet, except for some grammatical errors, I can't fault the excellent writing style.

Completely unbelievable, but we’ll written.

Start hiding assets

...but totally unbelievable.

A solid proofread would reduce the number of incomplete sentences, spelling and grammar boo-boos. A strong editorial review would improve character inconsistencies, unrealistic logic threads, and plot pacing. BTW, loading up the last chapter with long, detailed, gratuitous sex scenes does not improve the flow or story line.

Meanwhile, videos that have been taken by "someone" and mysteriously edited instantaneously so they can be shared with the cuck are illogical. First, while possibly satisfying Darren's desire to dominate and crush the cuck, actually simply become a legal liability for Darren. Rather than adding the illegal assault on Tony and Darren, Chase already has a slam-dunk sexual harassment case for Federal prosecution. Civil suit to follow... Finally, if anyone was dumped on my doorstep covered with and leaking cum while obviously alcohol or drug impaired, I would simply dial 911. Let the legal machine deal with it.

RAAC under the circumstances laid out here, with basically zero likable MCs, seems a bit of fantasy.

Thanks to Raulmerez1 for joining the volunteer author ranks and for weathering the storm of criticism by commentors like me. I enjoyed trying to pull an interesting story out of a complex first submission. You show great potential!

Keep 'em comin'!

I really don't understand how he could be so clueless as to not have her tested for STD's. Then he goes ahead and has unprotected sex with her. Then he has unprotected sex with Lois and the babysitter, potentially exposing both of them to disease. And yes, as others have said, when the wife threatened him with all hell if he left her.. I would let her know the contents of all the sex downloads from her boss were being sent to everyone she knows. Then i would be filing a morals clause lawsuit against Darren's business. Oh well. It's fiction and i appreciate your work and sharing with us. Just some things to think about next time.

Well, it's a lovely little fairy tale. Thank you for sharing it with us. Unfortunately, it would be easier to believe in a fairy tale with dragons and ogres than it was to watch this plot play out. She just went to damn far. The phone calls and videos she helped Darren send to hubby were clearly meant to inflict maximum pain and humiliation. Yeah, she claims that was mostly Darren's idea, that she really wanted to stop it all early on. If she is so weak that she can be forced by an outsider to do something that cruel and hurtful to someone she claims to love, how can you possibly trust her? The thing is, I don't buy her story. She wanted Chase hurt and humiliated in the worst possible way and she went above and beyond to insure that it happened.

She did everything to hurt him short of getting pregnant with a black kid. Probably would have added another level to their problems. But would have been interesting how they would have handled her pregnancy if it was Darren’s.

Great story about two totally screwed up people who would be better off not knowing each other let alone being married with children.