All Comments on 'A Working Marriage'

It's ok if it's short. It was a fine first effort and you told it well. Ronnie W.

Very good story that moved well. I enjoyed it and will look for your next write. thank you.

A wonderful effort.

Like your first effort. And that is one hell of a closing line. Great impact in its own way.

I think this is super. Very nice to see this image of marriage - both the real life issues of time, space and energy and also the possibility of sizzling, loving sex inside a committed relationship. It is both realistic and exciting.

Well plotted written and a good positive image of marriage. I wish we had mor eof this but I am encouraged by the latest entries...

Sir, may I have more, please?

Regards

You design a good scene: the small arguments, the distance, and come up with a nice way to wrap them together in a scene by leaving the answer to the question to the last line.

If you want to make this kind of set up longer, you can add detail. This kind of story is essentially plot. If you add detail - what is she doing, looking at as she watches dishes, what's on the counter, etc. - then this could become a longer story. If you add more elements - that is, open it up so you see him at work, her outside the home - then it's a book.

Adding details takes a lot of imaginative effort. I suggest writing out the scene and then going over it a few times to identify places where you can expand.

Well done. You can tell they have not done this sort of thing before--she is not sure what is happening, yet she trusts him. That is really cool. Looking forward to other stories. JimDinMN