Achievement Unlocked

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Anal-curious man gets a new toy and reaches a longtime goal.
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My dick size, erect, is 7 1/2 inches long and 2 1/4 inches wide. That's around 5 1/2 inches around the shaft, if you know your algebra.

I don't say this to brag. Only because it's important to know for later. In every other way, I'm a pretty average guy.

Sure, most guys are straight. I'm not. Most guys don't like taking it up the ass, or, at least, they imagine they wouldn't like it. I do.

I've never actually had sex with another penis-haver. What I have is a very indulgent partner who isn't big on open relationships, but she is willing to finger me and fuck me with toys to my prostate's content.

I discovered anal pleasure early on. Before my first partnered experience (college), long before I came out as bi (30s). Almost as soon as I started masturbating, I was putting makeshift toys in my ass.

Since coming out, I've amassed a modest collection of proper anal toys. A lovely S-shaped prostate stimulator. A small butt plug, 4 inches long, 1 1/4 wide. A medium butt plug, 5 1/2 inches long, 1.6 wide.

And a large butt plug, 5 1/2 inches long, 2 1/3 wide, if you can believe that. It looks big as a god damn fist.

The small plug is easy peasy, lemon squeezy. The medium one is a lot. Enough to be a persistent distraction when shopping for groceries or doing chores around the house. I tried the big one once. Never again.

What I always wanted was a dildo. A nice one. Posable, heavy, fleshy exterior, hard interior. Suction cup, harness friendly They come in a variety of flesh colors. I think the brown ones are especially pretty.

Most importantly, I wanted it to be the same size as me--7 1/2 inches long and 2 1/4 inches wide.

See, I want to be able to take a dick from a man who's at least as equipped as I am. Not that there's a realistic chance of man-on-man loving in my future. But I want to know that it's physically possible.

(The most erotic things in our sex lives isn't the people we're with or the acts we perform. It's the ideas in our heads.)

I'm not entirely sure why I imagine it being someone my size. Maybe because I want to be able to fuck a man balls-deep, and being able to take as much as I can give seems like a reasonable bargain. Only fair.

Or maybe it's that my own penis is the only one I have regular access to, therefore it dictates my idea of what a reasonable penis would be like. Again, I'm not entirely sure why. And it probably doesn't matter.

I've just always wanted a dildo. And today, I bought one.

There's a sex shop in my old hometown that I used to go to all the time. Since moving, I haven't been to a sex shop, even though there's one here in town that I pass at least a couple times a week.

I was out running errands, I had a little extra spending cash in my pocket. I saw the sign coming up in the distance. I guess today was the day, because I pulled in and went inside.

It was a little corny--low lighting, fucky R&B on the stereo. But the clerk was nice. A stylish college age woman, dark hair, dark dress, lots of belts. She offered help without judgment. That's a good skill.

I wasn't specifically there for a dildo, at least, not at the outset. I had a few potential items on my shopping list. Another butt plug. A thicker prostate toy. A pair of red open-back lace boyshort panties.

(I'm the kind of bi guy who likes gender-bendy clothes and LOVES women's underwear. You have to pick something with decent coverage so your balls don't fall out.)

I just kept coming back to the dildos. A whole wall of them. Realistic dildos. PVC dildos. Metal dildos. Glass dildos. Assorted shapes, sizes, and colors. Vibrating dildos. Curved dildos. Double-ended dildos.

And in the middle, there it was. A row of three of them, all the same size--7 1/2 inches and thick. Veins, balls, glans. A cute pinkish brown one, not unlike my dick, a devastatingly handsome dark brown one...

And, between them, like the special guest in the middle of a tender threesome, was the tannish brown cock of my dreams.

I made another circuit around the store, just to make damn sure that this was going to be my purchase for today. I walked casually, and I realized I was concealing excitement. I couldn't get it out of my mind.

At the counter, the clerk asked me if I needed any condoms or lube. I told her no, that I was all set. It was true. There was a drawer waiting for me back home with rows of condoms and lubes of every kind.

She rang me up. (Yes, she was cute. No, I didn't flirt. They get enough of that shit.) I left with my new prize and managed to get through my other errands. I may have left an item or three off the grocery list.

I was home alone all day. Ideal for testing a new toy, with solitude and time to spare. Mind you, I wasn't horny. Nothing had happened to turn me off, but being busy with chores doesn't exactly turn me on.

But maybe that's a good thing. When you're horny, you can make errors in judgment. It's hard to be careful, harder to be clinical. I took off my pants and panties and daubed my asshole with a bead of coconut lube.

I smeared the small butt plug with lube, held my breath, exhaled, and pushed it in. My sphincter widened obediently around the fat part of it and the flared base landed home in the dark between my asscheeks.

I was impatient to keep going, but this would have to be it for now. It had been a while, and it wouldn't do to injure myself. I pulled my panties back up, then my pants, and set about putting groceries away.

Going about daily tasks with a plug in is a lovely feeling. Like being a little bit drunk, or a little bit high. A fullness, a constant awareness of your body, little micro movements with every footstep.

When I was sure I was thoroughly comfortable with the small plug, I decided it was time to switch it out for the medium one. I went to the bathroom, reached behind, pulled at the base. It slid right out.

Pulling a toy out of your ass feels not unlike taking a shit. And sure enough, there were a few particles of matter on the very tip of it. In case anyone hasn't tried anal before, a speck of shit is no big deal.

(To quote Jessica Stoya, a titan among sex workers: "You're going to poop's house, and you can't really get mad if they're home.")

I sat on the toilet to relieve myself as best I could to avoid further issues. Things came out easily, as they do when you're starting to loosen up. Sorry for the graphic imagery. But bodies do what bodies do.

I cleaned myself thoroughly, went to the bedroom, lubed up again, inserted the second butt plug. It was almost bad. There was no pain, but there was a warning. I very carefully pushed, and it went in.

At 5.5 inches long and over an inch and a half wide, this one filled me enough that there would be no household chores in the coming minutes and hours. It was just too big; the distraction would be too great.

I'm no beginner. But remember, it had been a while. And your body is the one in charge!

I felt so full. It can be a little hard to breathe when your ass is taking as much as it feels like it can take. I put my clothes back on, came downstairs, sat down gingerly, and started typing this document.

I hit about 500 words. ("I was out running errands, I had a little extra spending cash in my pocket, and I guess today was the day.") That's when I decided my asshole was about as relaxed as it would get.

I started in the bathroom. I pulled the butt plug out slowly, trying to breathe normally as the fattest part of it slid through the powerful clutches of my anus. The rest passed easily. Its surface was spotless.

I went to the bedroom. I took the big plastic package out of the black shopping bag. The packaging, to my surprise, popped open easily. I held the thing in my hand. It felt gloriously thick, spongey, and heavy.

I tried posing it. It curved this way, curved that way, straightened out, stayed however I put it. I ran my fingers over the veins, put the head of it up close to my face, sighted down the shaft, sniffed it.

I put my mouth on it. I pushed the head of it to the back of my throat until it threatened my gag reflex. I bobbed my head, did my best with my lips and tongue to soften this amateur blowjob for my ersatz lover.

This isn't a review. I'm not going to name the product. Let's just say I was already a satisfied customer.

Then it was time.

I rolled a condom onto it. I lubed it up, positioned the head of it against my asshole, pushed, and... nothing. It flat-out refused to go in. I repositioned myself, tried again, and still, no penetration.

Finally, I stuck it to the floor. The suction cup worked like a charm. It stayed put, pointing skyward. I lowered myself onto it. It must have been the angle. It went in with unexpected ease, filling me pleasantly.

It was in up to a few inches. I unstuck it from the floor, stood up, bent over, pushed it in further. Using my fingers like calipers, I estimated it was most of the way in, just an inch or so of it to go.

That's where it stopped. It didn't hurt. I just couldn't get it to go in any further. I would push, it would flex this way and that, but no further progress. I wondered if 6 1/2 inches was all I could take.

Then I spread my feet, relaxed my core, exhaled slowly, tried to relieve my body of as much tension as possible. I pushed one more time. There it went, all the way. Balls resting right up against my taint.

Angles. Relaxation. That's all it was. I'll remember that forever, no matter the pole, no matter the hole. Our bodies can do so much more than we think. And how we do it matters a lot.

Remember, I wasn't horny. (Again, for the best.) This was just an experiment, a successful one at that. And even if I wasn't horny, I was very excited. This was a personal best, my anal training goal achieved.

I got out my phone and opened the camera to commemorate the occasion. I put the camera on the floor, stood over it, and recorded video as I slowly withdrew the thing, inch by electrifying inch, out of my body.

I'm watching the video now. My skin is flushed, my expression overwhelmed with sensation. My wobbling dick isn't quite erect, but it's full, my foreskin pointing somewhere off camera like an arrow.

The dildo emerges with the slowness of a striptease. First, the balls come away from me, then the first inch or so, then the base of the condom. A hand's width of shaft, then the head falls away from me.

I wouldn't say I look happy, or satisfied, any of the cliches. It's actually better than that. I look bewildered, dazed, my eyes fogged and my face and body utterly stripped of performance. My 100% natural self.

I had taken it all. I'd also learned something new about my body. That's a wonderful thing about sex, solo or partnered. There's no limit to the things you learn your body can do, if you just give them a try.

I threw away the condom, cleaned the dildo, cleaned myself. I took a picture of my hand clutching the toy, an imitation handjob. In my hand, it looks uncannily like my own dick, like my daily ritual masturbation.

I'm still buzzing from my accomplishment. My ass is still tingling and tender. I can't wait to use this thing while I jack off. While I use my magic wand. While I fuck. I want it in me, balls deep, when I come.

And, next time I have the cash, I'm going to get a bigger dildo.

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