All Comments on 'Admired Across the Pool'

good start

Why are you using double quotation marks in this story but single in your other stories? Be consistent.

"She couldn't hold off any longer the Orgasm came from all over her body with a tremble then a gushing explosion all over the woman's face. She looked up with glee. Her face glistening with love juice." In one paragraph you describe the actions of two women but refer to both of them as she. Identify who is doing what for the reader. And, of course, the lack of punctuation and misunderstanding of pronouns and what gets capitalized is an issue, same as your other stories.

Thanks. I have more of the Ibiza trip in the pipeline.

Thanks for your feedback. I will make a conscious effort to clean up my grammar for future submissions.

Double quotes are correct for spoken dialogue. Single for private thoughts. Don't try to change that part back.

Meanwhile the husband is an idiot, and his wife is a skank. So, not sure why it's worth proofreading anyway.

Just more British Cuckery Ridiculous

Very nice! Looks like the husband may get cucked by a woman instead of a man. Once my wife licked her first pussy she was hooked and is now bi-sexual. We also hope Cara will have an experience with a man while they are on vacation. We always like to see a wife corrupted!

Excellent, wifey learning to enjoy pussy, good plan for older, pervy couples, wife gives her pussy to her girlfriends, shares her mouth between hubby and girls, husband gets her ass, it's not adultery if your wife fucks girls.