Adventure of Rekka Ch. 09

"Hah, if it shuts you up I'll give it a try, facing her claws will be easier than listening to you," Julius said with a laugh, reaching for the flagon the barkeep brought over. The man had felt a little like his old self merely mentioning his past as a soldier. He'd have whipped the shit out of Bill the moment he'd looked at him funny in those days.

The men spent a little more time enjoying their drinks while trading stories of their married life and children. Julius was actually smiling as they left. As they approached the house Bill pointed out as his new home he became serious. Squaring his shoulders he approached the door. Before he got there it swung open and Kendra stepped out, looking at him with concern.

"Hello, my wife," Julius greeted her as Bill had coached. Her breath hitched, giving him an uncertain smile. Julius hesitated, then coming to a decision he stepped close and wrapped her in a hug.

"Oh, Julius, my husband," She breathed out, clutching him with surprised delight. Julius hugged her tighter, cursing his years of stupidity. She looked over his shoulder at Bill, tears in her eyes, grateful with every bone in her body.

Bill touched his forehead before waving two fingers towards her in return, saluting her with an easy smile. He figured she'd move heaven and hell for him if he asked now. Turning he headed towards his own home, a bounce in his step.

A blur of giggling hellpups caught his attention heading for the quarry to scare the hell out of the workers there. Immediately he sprinted towards his house, unlacing the neck of the locally made shirt he now wore and loosening his belt.

Flinging open the door and stepping inside he faced his nude wife, growling her need. She wasn't wearing her pouch of tobacco. Kicking the door closed, he met her attack. She jumped into his arms with a snarl, kissing him with a fierceness he'd not experienced before. Carrying her to the bedroom, he ripped her from him and flung her onto the bed. She landed on all fours, glaring at him with mad intensity as she growled.

She finally spoke, her snarled words filled with dark promise.

"You're not leaving until we have one of our own."

"You're goddamn right I'm not, you better be ready for this," Bill riposted, tearing off clothes.

With a roar he leapt at her. Baring her fangs she rose to meet him.

-

Someone was pounding at the door, shaking it in its frame. Bill snarled, peeling himself from Rekka's back, they'd been getting in a quick nap before going another few rounds. It had only been four days and he was enraged someone had interrupted them so soon. He didn't bother to dress, hoping his nudity would aid the screaming fury he was readying to chase them away. Snatching open his door he leaned out to tear into them.

"My roof better be on fire you fu-!" he yelled at an impressive pair of tits inches from his face.

He scowled, disliking his rant being cut short and raising his eyes to see Tabitha looking down at him, a rare smile on her face.

If it had been anyone else he would have spartan kicked them across the street. He thought of at least giving it a try, but ultimately knew it would be like kicking a bank vault.

Larry leaned around Tabby to look him over. Bill resembled the madman everyone assumed he was. His hair was sticking up in all directions, wild bloodshot eyes red with exhaustion, and his haggard face now sported several days growth of beard. The man was covered in an impressive array of scratches and bite marks, some fresh, some healing. A lesser man might have bled out, but Bill was a survivor.

"Jesus, man. How haven't you two died of dehydration yet?" Larry asked.

"Used the washing bowl. Ran out yesterday. Figure we can go another three days before things get desperate," Bill answered distractedly, looking into the bedroom and thinking about just slamming the door in their faces.

"Yeah, well, you'd better get dressed. The dwarves are ready to negotiate. Hell, they were ready two days ago but no one dared to interrupt you two. Kendra said it would be suicidal," Larry explained. "We're only here because those fuckers are threatening to set the powder off if you don't come talk to them, something's got them agitated and they won't listen to me."

Bill considered telling them the dwarves were welcome to explode themselves. If he was sure the result wouldn't disturb his time with Rekka he would have said just that. Scowling, he nodded at Larry and shut the door.

"Rekka, I gotta go take care of those fucking dwarves. They're gonna set off the fucking powder unless I go talk to them," Bill snapped, furious.

"Tell em to fuckin' do it then!" Rekka complained, sitting up in bed with her own scowl.

"I would, but it might kill everyone and that would be just as fucking irritating," Bill explained, pulling on his clothes.

"Fine. Kill em when you've lied enough to get em out. Then come back to bed. Bring some water," Rekka replied, flopping onto her pillow and crossing her arms to glare at him.

"Gonna sweet talk those stubby fuckers outta there and punt them over the damn walls," Bill promised, stalking out of the room.

-

"Right, what do these assholes want?" Bill asked as he pulled his head out of the cold water in the horse trough he spotted on their way to the workshop. Smoothing back his hair he was calming down a bit as the exhaustion hit him like a freight train. Without Rekka around to keep his attention he felt like he was ready to collapse.

"Nobody knows, they refuse to speak with anyone else, they think I'm lying when I tell them I can do all the negotiating," Larry said, frustrated he couldn't get into the workshop.

The night they'd taken the town the dwarves had decided they needed a little insurance to keep their chastity intact. They'd hustled all the powder from the building designed to safely store it and funnel any unwanted explosions harmlessly into the air. Stuffing it in with them in their workshop, they'd refused to leave and threatened to set it off if anyone came near them. They hoped rescue would arrive before their supply of food and alcohol dried up.

No rescue had come. The food had run out a week ago, but the alcohol had finally run out and they were growing desperate, ready to negotiate.

Bill hadn't even bothered to negotiate with them, he didn't really care and told them it was his plan to destroy the powder anyway. It would have been a non-issue but Scipio had explained the dwarves were as fond of a good smoke as he was, and someone had let slip how the stuff could be used. He'd patiently waited for this day to end the standoff, but now he had better things to do.

Larry had been trying to talk them out the entire time, he was dying to get into that workshop. The barkeep had a dwarven made hammer and barrel tap that was of better quality than anything made of metal he'd seen so far.

"Ok, sorry if I'm too pissed to deal with this and they blow us all to hell," Bill growled, stalking towards the workshop door.

"You can hold right there, you damned lankey," a surprisingly mellow voice called out.

Bill rolled his eyes and kept walking until he was only a few feet away from the cracked open door and angry eyes visible at about waist level. He'd originally been terribly amused to learn the dwarves of this world did not conform to the expectations of his own. They didn't have any accents from anywhere in Britain, or even the general area of europe. They spoke like they'd stepped out of Gone with the Wind. Antebellum gentleman dwarves. Originally he'd thought Colonel Sanders was hiding in there with them, until the barkeep had assured him that he was the dwarven supervisor.

"Well bless your heart, you're finally ready to talk," Bill snarled, pulling out the big guns with that greeting. Maybe he shouldn't have gone for the throat like that, but the dwarf was lucky he hadn't just kicked in the door to find out who was faster with the matches.

The door rattled with rage, and Bill was almost certain they were about to retaliate with an explosion. After a few seconds of outraged whispering the eyes returned to the door crack to glare death at him.

"You are no gentleman, sir. In fact I am certain you are a scoundrel," the eyes accused.

"Yeah," Bill agreed. "Now what do you want so I can get back to my wife? Hell, just come out, I'll be fucking thrilled to have you out of my town. I'll tell them to leave you alone."

"Now, now. As you are perfectly aware, we would be violated within the hour by any passing she-devil. Despite your promise that your ladies are capable of restraining themselves long enough for my colleagues and I to extricate ourselves from this den of iniquity, we would only find ourselves in the selfsame circumstances we have so resolutely endeavored to avoid," the dwarf elucidated.

"Sounds like a personal problem. I'm not walking you home, I just want you out of my hair," Bill snapped.

"Well, perhaps we two can arrive at a mutually beneficial accord. As I am without doubt you have been made aware, we dwarfs are well sought after craftsmen of singular excellence. The fruits of our industry surpasses all competitors, despite what lies you may have been told by any and all disreputable elf charlatans," the dwarf said, "I hope you'll excuse my fervor, I do strive to refrain from besmirching those not in my presence, but the callow elven hornswogglers unfailingly arouse my ire."

Bill rolled his eyes. "Yeah? C'mon, get to the damn point. I'm in a rush. If you continue to squander my time I will be left no other recourse but to demand satisfaction from you, sir."

He'd decided to fight fire with fire.

"Now now, let us proceed without reckless haste. I simply desired to demonstrate how my fellows and I might be of value. If you were to guarantee some form of immunity from these voracious madams, we would be quite pleased indeed to continue our vocation for you good sir," the dwarf explained. "Assuming, of course, we come to some arrangement pertaining to our well merited recompense, you see."

Bill sighed. "Right, you got it," he muttered. "You! Go get the barkeep, and fuckin' run," Bill yelled, pointing at a rubbernecking soldier. The man took off at speed towards the tavern.

Minutes later the confused barkeep followed the soldier back, wringing his hands with anxiety as he approached Bill.

"Alright, explain that necklace you're wearing," Bill ordered, waving to indicate the dwarf behind the door.

"Oh! Sure. Hello, Bjorn. Anyone who wears the yellow is considered off limits by the women so we can do our jobs without being interrupted, and I've been left alone this whole time," the man explained, happy he wasn't in trouble. Bill knew better than to abuse the man, he was almost certainly more popular than him.

Bill thanked the man and waved him away back to the tavern. He was sure the red oni had slipped behind the bar as soon as the man left. The barkeep had been given authority to chase her out with a broom, and the woman was too easygoing to take offense. She appeared to have some affection for the man that supplied her liquor in any case.

"You see? C'mon out, I don't care what your salary was. Double it, money is meaningless to me. We'll set you up with a yellow stripe and you can get back to your hi-ho-hi-ho'ing."

The door rattled with anger again, but the dwarf finally let out the calming breath of someone who'd gotten a raise.

"We are in agreement, sir. We may settle the issue of our wages at a more convenient hour," the dwarf said, "In the meantime, my associates and I will retire to the tavern, there is an appalling lack of bourbon within the premises."

Bill shrugged, walking away to speak with Larry.

"Alright, when you get them all out of there drag them behind the shed and shoot them," Bill ordered quietly.

"Yeah, right. I'm pulling a mutiny, captain's gone mad. They're going to be my assistants, I want them making tools to spec," Larry replied, eager to explore the workshop.

"Please yourself, I'm off to please myself," Bill said, then paused to look at Larry with a focused gaze

"Start making more guns. Arm the centaurs first. We'll need cannons, mines, you name it. If you can knock a nuke together with hammer and anvil you have my blessing. Anything you can think of," Bill ordered.

"What? I thought that was exactly what you wanted to avoid, what changed your mind?" Larry asked. Despite his words his mind was already going over weapons of mass destruction he might be able to cobble together with black powder and steel.

"Kids," Bill replied, jogging away.

Larry was confused until he considered Tabby walking to meet him, understanding the man's thoughts with sudden clarity. His mind was soon filled with the need for overwhelming firepower.

"You! Drop a barrel of water off at my door, wrap up some dried meat. Cheese and bread. Anything you can put together that will keep," Bill snapped the order at two orcs and their current boytoys, not smart enough to make themselves scarce. They dashed off to comply, the wild look in his eyes accepting no objections.

Turning the corner towards his house Bill nearly slammed into Helena, who reared back on her hind legs in surprise. Felix patted her back reassuringly.

"Oh! I am sorry, Bill. I did not expect to see you there."

"No problem, Helena. Felix. If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to Rekka," Bill replied, not able to snap at the gentle unicorn even at his worst.

"Oh, wait. Would you mind? I've got a bunch of bites and scratches, and I surely could use a pick me up," Bill requested, stopping in his tracks.

"Certainly! I am more than happy to assist you," Helena responded, pleased to be able to help a friend. There were less calls for her abilities now that most everyone had been educated by her very direct friends. She brought her hands up and held them over Bill's shoulders, flinching back with a gasp.

"Bill! I am surprised you are able to stand! You are absolutely exhausted," Helena cried.

Bill just shrugged it off, he was tired but duty called. She gave him a deeply concerned look before closing her eyes and singing her song of health.

"Whew, thanks Helena! See you guys in a couple weeks maybe," Bill yelled over his shoulder, already running towards his home, pulling off and tossing his shirt away without a care.

"Um, Helena.. It might have been better for everyone if you didn't encourage him like that.." Felix said. He was surprised to feel anything but relief that Bill was making himself scarce, but as the man was the only one with a desire to lead the town he expected things may soon begin to fall apart.

"Oh dear. I do not like to see anyone in pain, but perhaps you are right.."

-

Someone was knocking on their door again. Bill's eyes flew open before narrowing with anger. It had only been just over a week, surely another emergency couldn't have cropped up in that time. He was going to have to hurt someone to put an end to these interruptions. Then again, he and Rekka did seem to be calming down a bit. They were starting to get around three hours of solid sleep between marathon bouts of olympic level intercourse.

"I guess I'll only kill them a little bit," Bill muttered, holding Rekka to his chest as he pulled himself to his feet. They had ended up on the floor again. Looking at the bed he saw the reason, a thick oaken leg had lost the battle. Now the entire bed slumped to one side, making a ramp to their current position. Bill carefully laid Rekka down at an angle she wouldn't find easy to roll off. She turned her head to look at him with one eye.

"Kill em a little for me, sugar," she mumbled, snuggling into the blanket.

Bill nodded, pulling on his jeans and making his way to the door. Something about the knocking made him want to make an attempt at decency. Pulling open the door and leaning out he found no one in sight. His rage began filtering back in.

"If someone's ding-dong-ditching me they're going to find themselves in a world of hurt," Bill snarled, looking down the street for any guilty parties.

"Um, Mister Bill?" a timorous voice asked from below him.

Bill looked down in surprise, spotting a nervous Melody gazing up at him with large soulful eyes. Quickly he stepped back so he wasn't looming over her threateningly, scanning his vocabulary so as not to say anything he'd regret later. The sweet kobold was simply too darling to allow his default state of an asshole to take over. He found swearing at and around Helena a far easier task.

"Good morning, Melody. How are things?" Bill asked, pleased no profanities had slipped past his filters.

"Good morning Mister Bill! Things are very good today, no one has tried to take over the town at all! Ever since Missus Kendra, Tabitha, and Sarah explained the.. um.. situation to everyone, and Missus Helena put them back together," Melody replied happily, her tail swishing at the air.

"Glad to hear it. What, uh, did you need from me?" Bill asked, thankful that Kendra was settling in nicely. Maybe he'd taught the rest of them a little responsibility by ignoring his own.

"Oh! Mister Servius asked me to get you, though I'm not sure why. He's waiting for you right over there," Melody replied, waving at the man.

Bill scowled at him, clearly the quartermaster had the survival instincts of a particularly tenacious rodent.

"That was a rotten trick, Cy, you couldn't have been sure I wasn't a complete.. bad person," Bill yelled, his internal thesaurus failing to find any other words that might not upset the little woman. The man simply shrugged with a shameless grin, clearly he believed no one was that big an asshole.

"Thank you, Melody. You're a good girl," Bill said, smiling as her tail blurred.

"Thank you, Mister Bill! Oh thank you! I hope you have a wonderful day!" Melody gushed, waving as she skipped back to the sounds of Dulius roaring at clumsy mamono in the training yard. Bill waited until she was far enough away before turning and glaring death at Cyrus.

"Ok, you fucking piece of shit, what the fucking fuck did you fucking want?" Bill yelled, waving the man forward. He'd started to feel intensely uncomfortable holding back around Melody.

Bill and Cyrus normally got along very well. Bill was pleased to find there was someone who already had the job of keeping track of supplies. Cyrus was delighted to find a boss that had no interest in checking the books, and was now well on his way to an early retirement. A great deal of wealth had fallen prey to his ledger's wily columns and his villainous abacus since the wages were no longer being paid.

"What, we run out of food? Oh shit, it's the booze isn't it. Has Red sobered up? Why didn't you get me earlier?" Bill said, panicked at the thought of her facing a sober reality and going on a rampage. He'd have to put her down like 'ol Yeller.

"No, no, no! Plenty of food if you like meat and anything the ladies can scrounge up from the forest. Not to mention Summer's garden. At some point we will have to consider trade or larger scale agriculture, you know. That is if you're planning this to be a long term insurrection," the man explained, happy to turn his coat for the chance at more embezzlement. "No, it's the opposite. We're due for resupply any day now. I've been putting off bothering you for quite some time, you know," he scolded.

"Good idea, you probably wouldn't have survived it yesterday. Happy news with the resupply. Don't suppose they'd be willing to drop the stuff off outside the walls and head back without taking a look inside? We might be able to fool them into keeping us well stocked for a while that way," Bill asked, finding the idea of his enemies keeping his rebellion healthy and well fed an amusing one.

"Not a chance, I'm afraid. They're not only bringing supplies and wages, there will be quite a few soldiers and laborers with them. Under less insane circumstances we rotate soldiers and workmen every few months, so that they can visit the brothels, spend their wages, perhaps see their families," Cyrus replied.