Advice from the Internet

As I sat there, I started thinking about my conversation last night with Jake. If women all over the world could take huge cocks and giant dildos up their butts, I should be able to get my husband's weiner in mine. Where there's a will, there's a way, I mumbled to myself aloud. So I pulled out my phone and started researching on the web about how to have anal sex. I read web pages and blogs, watched porn, and listened to a podcast. Four hours later, I was hungry and horny, and I had an idea. The idea originated with some of the Reddit comments about role playing my fantasy, but this idea put a different and convenient twist on it.

I drove to a nearby fast food drive-through for some lunch, then to an adult toy store that I had driven past often but never stopped. I expected it to be dark and dingy inside but it was clean and brightly lit. A young couple was browsing in the back of the store. A skinny middle-aged woman with blue hair and lots of tattoos and piercings was behind the counter. She welcomed me as I entered and said if I had any questions to let her know. I said yes in fact, I did have questions. I wanted some things to prepare me for anal sex with my husband, but I didn't know where to start. I figured I needed a butt plug, an enema kit, and some lube. (This information was gleaned from my morning's web browsing.) I left with three different sized silicone butt plugs, a simple enema bulb, a more complicated enema bag kit, and three kinds of lube in three different sizes in a black plastic bag.

Then I drove to the mall and went to a small boutique that sold racy clothes and lingerie. I tried on a white miniskirt with a wide faux patent leather belt and a big gaudy buckle, a white crop top, and some white boots that came to just below the knee. I also found a white sequined clutch to go with it. I wouldn't be caught dead in this getup! Not even at Halloween! But as I looked at myself in the mirror in the dressing room, I had to admit, it was a pretty sexy Halloween costume. And the only one who was going to see it was hubby. I added a wide choker necklace and some big hoop earrings, bought it all and took it back to my studio along with my bag of goodies from the sex toy shop.

At my studio I made sure the door was locked, I put the bag with the clothing in the closet, and I took my purchases from the sex toy store into the restroom. I pulled off my jeans and my panties, and studied the enema bulb. I'd never used one before. I ran water in the sink to get what I thought might be the right lukewarm temperature, filled the bulb, squatted and tried to insert the nozzle into my butt. It didn't go in. Too dry. So I applied some spittle to my butthole and the nozzle and it slipped in! Squeezing the bulb, I felt the warm water filling my rectum. It was an odd feeling, but pleasant, actually. When I expelled it into the toilet, it came out clean. Maybe this whole step was unnecessary, I thought to myself.

Then I laid out the three butt plugs on the counter. The little one was blue. At its widest point it was about one and a half times as wide as the width across my middle finger, with a much smaller neck. The medium one was black and a little bigger around than a tealight. The big one was red, and not as big around as a beer bottle or a soda can, but almost. Maybe the same diameter as a billiard ball? I couldn't imagine getting that thing in my butt. It looked huge. The neck was bigger than the widest part of the little one. But the chick with blue hair and tattoos had assured me I would be able to do it, with some practice and warmup.

I lubed up the small butt plug, squatted down, and slowly worked it into my ass. Following the chick's instructions I took it slow, and pushed out like I was trying to poop. To my surprise I didn't feel any pain or discomfort at all as it slipped right in and my sphincter clamped tight around the narrow part. "Not so bad, after all!" I thought to myself. I pulled my panties and jeans back on and went out into the studio to see if I could get any work done with a butt plug in my ass.

I put on a P-100 mask to protect me from the silica dust in dry glazes, and concentrated really hard on mixing up some glazes for the porcelain pussies. When they were ready I took off the mask. The sensations in my ass were distracting as fuck. Plus, I could feel my panties getting soaked. Ass and pussy must be connected, I surmised.

I tried to ignore the distracting sensations in my ass and pussy as I painted the clay yonis with the glazes. I made them as realistic as I could, so it was time consuming. When I was done the pussies varied from white and pale pink to dark red and brown. Each one was unique. I was quite satisfied with the way they turned out.

As I was putting on the last finishing touches, I realized that the plug in my ass was feeling so comfortable that I hardly noticed it. I wondered what the medium sized one would feel like.

I went back to the bathroom, removed the small plug, and then lubed and inserted the medium one. It took some patience and pressure, but eventually it slipped in and my asshole closed tight around the neck. Wow! It stretched me quite a bit more than the small one. There's no way I could have gotten it in me if I hadn't warmed up first with the little one. It had an oblong base that was large enough to keep the plug from slipping all the way in, but narrow enough to nestle comfortably between my butt cheeks when I pulled my panties and jeans back on. I sensed the weight of the plug in my ass as I walked back out into the studio, where I looked at the clock and was shocked to see what time it was. It was well past my usual departure time.

I quickly programmed the kiln and put the pussies in it for their glaze firing overnight. I wondered if anyone might actually buy the silly things. There's no way I would dare to sell them at open studios. Did I have enough moxie to display them in a gallery? Maybe. But not under my real name. Then I grabbed my car keys and headed out the door.

On the drive home I was acutely aware of the plug stretching my ass. I felt it move subtly as I worked the gas, brake, and clutch pedals. I was enjoying the sensations and a sense of naughtiness and adventure.

When I arrived home, Jake was already there. I felt the plug filling my ass as I walked from the car to the front door. I also noticed that my panties were soaked.

Jake met me at the door. I gave him a big hug and a long kiss. He returned the gesture half-heartedly. He seemed cold and distant.

I broke away and backed up a few feet. "What's the matter, honey?" I asked.

He looked away and fidgeted, clearly uncomfortable.

"What? Tell me!" I insisted.

"Well, I told Billy about your sudden enthusiasm for BJs and dirty talk and, you know, how you've been... different all of a sudden," he said, now looking into my eyes. Then he looked down at the floor.

"Billy," I said, matter-of-factly, waiting for him to continue. I didn't care for Billy a whole lot.

"Yes, Billy. Well, um, he said that when a married woman suddenly starts busting out new moves in the bedroom, it usually means she's having an affair."

"What?" I squealed. "That's nonsense! What does he know?"

Jake just shrugged and looked into my eyes.

"Okay, that may be true for some women, but not for me," I protested. My heart was beating fast, and I was still aware of the plug in my butt. My hands felt sweaty.

Jake didn't say anything. I rolled my hands up into fists and pressed them into my hips as I faced him defiantly.

"So you think I'm having an affair? Really?" I asked, angrily.

"Maybe I just need some reassurance," he said softly. "Your transformation over the past few days is jolting. Can't you see that?" His distress showed in his eyes.

"Yes, I suppose I can," I admitted, softening. "I can see how it might be disconcerting for you. Look, honey, I'm not having an affair. I've never so much as touched another man, or even looked at one that way, since we met. Or a woman for that matter." I stepped forward and took his hands in mine, and looked into his eyes. "The thought never occurred to me. I have the most amazing, perfect, wonderful husband. You are everything I want. I don't want anyone else, and I can't imagine wanting anyone else."

"I'm sorry for doubting you," he said, putting his arms around me. But I'm not sure he was convinced. If I were a cheater, I would be a liar too, right?

"I'm sorry for, uh, I don't know. What could I do differently?" I asked.

"Well, maybe you could give me an insight into what's going on inside that pretty head of yours, that is bringing about these new interests you have," he replied.

"Okay, I'll try," I said. "I'm not sure I understand it myself. But I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you too," he responded. "I'm sorry I brought it up this way."

"No, I'm glad you did," I mumbled, pulling away and putting my hand on his chest. I was feeling completely at a loss for what to say, but I had to say something. "Honey, I would never have an affair, but I would understand if you did," I whispered, immediately wishing I could unsay it.

"What the hell does that mean?" he yelped.

"I mean, I know you never would, because you are faithful and loyal and honorable. But if you did, you would be justified and I would understand it," I replied. In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

"Justified? How do you figure?"

"Because you are so handsome, and strong, and charismatic, and sexy, and kind, and funny. And you have a nice, big perfect cock that works like a charm and you know how to use it. You could have almost any girl you want. But you settled for drab, little old me. You deserve to have better. You deserve to have"

Jake stopped me by putting his index finger on my lips and whispering "Shush! That's crazy talk!"

"No, it's not," I whispered back. "It's the truth, and you know it."

"You are anything but drab! And I chose you because I love you. And I love being with you."

"I'm not beautiful or stylish or elegant or sexy or alluring like, you know, like women who are. You have to acknowledge that. I have no idea how I got so lucky."

"It's not luck. I liked you from the moment we met. You're smart and thoughtful and creative and kind and caring and fun and I just enjoy being with you all the time."

"You didn't say pretty or sexy," I pointed out.

"You're beautiful to me," he replied.

"Love is blind," I retorted.

"Would you please stop?!" he pleaded.

I felt a desperate need to change the subject. I needed time to regroup - to get my thoughts in order before I said something I'd really regret. I already regretted blurting out what I already said. Also, I was really hungry.

"Would you like to have dinner out tonight? It's getting kinda late to make something at home," I asked.

"Yes, I'd love to have dinner out tonight. You can pick the place," he said.

"Let's go to the Via Veneto," I said. This was our favorite place and the one I mentioned in my Reddit post. We went there often enough that it felt almost like eating at home. Now I had a decision to make. Should I go to dinner with a buttplug in my butt? It might be a fun adventure, but I had to deal with Jake's concerns first and foremost. "Give me a minute to get ready and we'll go right away," I said.

I went upstairs, changed from my jeans and tee shirt to a casual dress, and took the plug out of my butt. I washed it thoroughly and put it in the back of my sock drawer. My butthole felt strangely soft and loose, but by the time I climbed into Jake's truck it felt normal again.

When we got to the restaurant, the hostess I described in my Reddit post was on duty! She looked sexy as fuck, in a tight, short, low-cut sheath dress, high-heel wedge sandals, and long, dangling, faux-diamond earrings. Her glossy brunette hair was put up in a fancy bun. When she greeted us at the hostess station, my heart fluttered. I stared at her soft, kissable lips as she talked to the customers ahead of us. I imagined them kissing Jake's lips. I imagined them wrapped around Jake's cock. I squeezed Jake's arm. When he looked at me I smiled.

When she left to show the other customers to their table, I was mesmerized by her swaying hips, her narrow waist, and her perfect ankles. How could she walk so steadily in those heels? I would sprain my ankle for sure. When she returned I watched her perky teen breasts bouncing under the thin fabric, and marveled at her exquisite young face. We were next in line. Jake was businesslike when he said "A table for two, please."

As she gathered up our menus, I smiled at her and asked, "What's your name, honey?"

"Mallory," she replied, with a smile that could melt a glacier.

"I like your dress. I wish I could wear something like that," I said.

"Thank you. I just bought it yesterday. This is my first time wearing it." she replied. "There's no wait for your table, please follow me."

As she led us to a booth in the back, Jake followed me as I watched Mallory's hips swaying seductively. As we walked I turned back momentarily and smiled at him, stumbling over my own feet in the process. Only by the grace of god did I avoid landing hard on the floor.

After we sat down facing each other, he asked me "what was that about?"

I leaned forward and said "Hips don't lie."

"What?" Jake replied, confused.

"Mallory! Don't you think she's hot? Those hips!"

"She's only like, seventeen!" he objected.

"I'm pretty sure she's eighteen," I said.

"Same difference," he said.

"But she's really cute and sexy, don't you think?" I asked, rubbing his leg under the table with my foot.

"Yes, I suppose so," he admitted.

"And eighteen is fair game. Wouldn't you like to dip your dipstick in her dipstick tube?" I asked, quietly, so nearby diners wouldn't hear, even though the background noise in the restaurant was pretty loud.

Jake just laughed and sat back in his seat.

"Why are you laughing?" I pouted.

"Just the way you said it, is all." He replied, still laughing. "Where do you come up with these expressions?"

I just sat back and pouted some more.

"Sarah, sweetie, why are you doing this?" he asked, leaning forward with his arms on the table.

"You asked me to give you an insight into what's going on inside my head, right?"

"This is what's going on inside your head?" he asked, now looking very concerned.

We were interrupted by the waiter coming to take our orders. Jake ordered a beer and cioppino. I ordered a glass of red wine and veggie lasagna. When the waiter left, Jake sat back, crossed his arms, and said "so tell me why you are perving on the hostess."

"Mallory," I said. "Her name is Mallory."

"Okay, why exactly are you perving on Mallory?"

"Look, honey," I began, then paused, trying to decide how much I dared to say. If I disclosed everything now it could blow up spectacularly in my face. I had better go slow, but I couldn't sweep it all back under the rug either. Things had progressed too far.

"Honey," I started again, "You said it yesterday, I've always been the jealous type. Every time another girl looks at you or comes near you, the green eyed monster appears. But I've realized that's not healthy. It's not good for me or for our relationship. So I've decided not to be that way. It's not easy, but I'm making progress." I swallowed hard before continuing. "And I've realized that if you fucked someone else prettier than me and sexier than me, I'd be okay with it."

"You'd be okay with it?" he asked, startled. "Are you shitting me?"

"I'm not shitting you. I've accepted it," I said, knowing full well that was a huge understatement.

Just then the waiter brought our drinks and said our food would be up shortly. That's one thing we like about this place, the service is always quick, even on busy nights. As he left our table, Mallory sashayed past taking some people to their table. She flashed us a warm smile as she passed by.

"She really is a hottie!" I remarked.

"Knock it off, will you?" Jake objected, rolling his eyes.

"Okay," I grumbled.

"Look," he said, his voice rising. "I don't want to fuck Mallory or anyone else."

"Shhh, people are listening," I said, looking around to see if anyone was.

"Then maybe we should talk about this later, at home," Jake said.

"You're probably right," I replied, taking a sip of my wine. "I'm famished. It's hard to have difficult discussions on an empty stomach. I hope our food is here soon."

Jake mercifully changed the subject and for the rest of the meal we talked about his work, various things that happened during his day, current events, and what our friends were up to on social media. Mallory passed by occasionally, and I know Jake noticed me checking her out. But she wasn't at the hostess station to say goodbye to when we left.

On the ride home, Jake listened quietly to the ball game on the radio, while jumbled thoughts swirled around in my inebriated brain, on account of the three glasses of wine I had with dinner. I thought about how I'd felt earlier in the day walking about with a buttplug stretching my anus, and I fantasized about Jake making out with Mallory. I imagined them kissing and fondling each other, while slowly removing each other's clothes. I imagined I was spying on them through a window, and touching myself while they did it.

By the time we arrived home my panties were drenched and my clit was throbbing. I begged Jake to take me upstairs and sink his hard cock into me, and he obliged.

Chapter 4 - I pretend to be an outsourced anal fuckbuddy for my husband

The third day in a row, I awoke to find Jake staring at me. But this time he was dressed and standing at the side of the bed. "Hi, lover!" I gushed. "You were wonderful last night! Are you waiting for your morning BJ?"

"No, I need to leave for work soon," he replied.

"You can't leave until I suck you off, but I need to pee first. I'll make it quick," I said, darting into the bathroom and sitting down on the toilet.

"Really, I don't want to be late," he said.

"Why not? What's so all-fired important about being on time today?" I asked, peeing as fast as I could. "Come in here with me, please?"

Jake came into the bathroom. I grabbed his belt buckle and pulled him toward me while I was still peeing. "Okay, make it quick," he snapped.

I undid his fly and the top button. Pulling his underpants down and letting the elastic snap up behind his balls, I sucked his half-hard cock into my mouth. It swiftly became rock hard as I furiously tried to deepthroat it and fondled his balls. "Come on baby, give it to me!" I begged. "I want it!"

It only took a few minutes until he was bathing my tongue with his hot spunk. While his cock was spurting I pulled it out of my month and let it spray my face. Three good blasts on my eyes, nose and forehead, but there was still plenty of it in my mouth. I opened my mouth wide and stuck out my tongue to show him, then swallowed it.

I never let him come on my face before. I always considered it degrading, as well as messy. I'm not sure what changed. Maybe because I saw it in the porn I watched yesterday, when I was researching how to have anal sex. Today I wanted to be a sexy porn star for my hubby.

I could feel the gooey spunk clinging to my face as I pushed his softening penis back into his pants and zipped them up. "Thank you, honey! You're the best husband ever! You can go along to work now. You don't have to kiss me goodbye," I gushed, smiling up into his astonished eyes.

"You really are a different person, all of a sudden," he said, shaking his head. "I don't know what to make of it."

"You didn't like it?" I replied. "I did it because I love you. And I'm having fun doing it. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing's wrong with it. It's just a lot to wrap my mind around in a short time," he answered. "I really do need to go now," he added.