Advice from the Internet

I'm posting this story for a friend of mine, who doesn't want to post it under her own profile. She swears every word is true. I have my doubts. It's more likely that none of it is true. Her name is Sarah and her husband is Jake. She's insanely jealous of other women and fearful of Jake cheating on her, but at the same time she harbors a smoldering fantasy of him having sex with other women. The fantasy and the fear are linked in her mind, but she doesn't know how to reconcile them. She turns to the internet for advice.

Attempting to put some of the advice into action, she struggles with her own feelings, but also finds her husband's attitudes are an unexpected obstacle.

If you don't like anal, this story is not for you, as anal sex figures prominently in it.

Also, be forewarned: it's a fairly long tale. Around 14 pages.

Chapter 1 - I turn to the internet for advice

I needed advice, but there was no way I could ask my parents, or any of my relatives or friends, about my shameful problem. Not only would I be hideously embarrassed, it would freak them out. I didn't have a therapist, although I definitely could benefit from therapy. I'm not religious so I didn't have a priest to talk to. And I couldn't ask my husband, because it concerns him. So I did the only obvious and logical thing: I posted about it anonymously on the internet! I made a profile on Reddit and posted on the relationship advice subreddit. I used a throw-away account to maintain my privacy, and I marked my post NSFW. It took me hours to write it as I obsessed over every word. Here is my post (in italics), which I realize now was overly long and rambling:

I (29F) have been married to my husband (31M) for 2 years. Before that we dated for 2 years then lived together for 1. We have a great relationship, and we're talking about starting a family. But I married out of my league. He's handsome, strong, fit, charismatic, hot, hung, and sexy. He could have any woman he wants. I don't know why he chose me. I'm rather plain and ordinary. From the very beginning I've been certain he would leave me someday for someone sexier and better looking. He swears he loves me, but I still get insecure, jealous, suspicious, and clingy.

But - this is so embarrassing! - I also secretly fantasize about him screwing other women. When we're making love, I always cum quicker and harder if I'm thinking about him with another girl. When I masturbate it's the only thing that gets me over the top. But when I'm not turned on, the thought of him with someone else still makes me sick to my stomach. If he ever cheated on me, I'd be devastated.

Last night is a good example of my craziness. We had dinner out. The hostess was young, cute, and friendly. She was wearing a short skirt, a revealing top, and heels. Hubby smiled and chatted with her while we waited for our table to be ready. I got a knot in my stomach and my heart raced. I felt feverish. As we followed her to our table I was sure my husband's eyes must have been glued to her sexy, swaying hips. My vision blurred. After we were seated I struggled to put her out of my mind. Somehow I relaxed and made conversation through dinner, even though whenever the hostess passed by our table she would smile at hubby and I would feel my face getting hot. It happened again when we were leaving and hubby said goodbye to her at the front door.

On the ride home I slouched silently in the passenger seat, brooding. I wondered how he could ever resist someone like her, given the opportunity. Trembling, I imagined him meeting her in secret, then leaving me for her. But then as I imagined them having sex - her on her back, with her legs spread and her knees pinned down to the bed on both sides of her, and she's screaming his name - I suddenly flipped from panicked to extremely horny. By the time we got home my panties were drenched. As soon as we got in the door, I stripped off my clothes and dragged him into the bedroom.

Both the fear and the fantasy are getting more intense over time. It seems like the stronger my fantasy becomes, the more afraid I am of him cheating. And the more afraid I am of him cheating, the stronger my fantasy becomes. The fear is irrational. He's extremely loyal. Why do I obsess about it? Even though nobody knows about it, I feel humiliated. I haven't told him about any of this. I'm afraid of what might happen.

I need to get a grip on this before I go insane and wreck my marriage. Do I dare tell my husband? What should I do?

I posted it right before going to bed. When I checked it in the morning there were already dozens of comments, and replies to the comments, and further replies to those. During the next few days, the comments poured in until there were like, hundreds! Many said I should share my fantasy with my husband, but be clear that it was just a fantasy. Some said we should role play, or experiment with it through dirty talk. Others said I should keep my fantasy to myself but continue to enjoy it secretly. Many said I needed therapy. Some said I needed to find Jesus. One said I should cheat on my husband - it would make me less fearful of him cheating on me. A few recommended we try threesomes.

I seriously considered most of the responses. The role play idea sounded interesting. But how would that work? What would I do, tell hubby "pretend I'm someone else", while we have the same sex we always have? I didn't see any point in that.

The dirty talk suggestion seemed more straightforward. I could tease him with talk of him fucking other women. Would I do it during sex? Or while we were just having dinner or in the car? Or via text message? But it's not his fantasy, it's mine, so maybe it would land with a dull thud. Also, how would that address my dreadful anxiety of him cheating on me? It wouldn't.

All the advice offered so far seemed like dead ends.

Then one morning I checked my phone right after hubby left for work, and there was a long, bizarre new comment that was just plain ludicrous. At first I rejected it out of hand, figuring they were just an internet troll. Here is what it said (in italics). BTW, It took me a while to figure out that OP is Reddit lingo for Original Poster (i.e. me).

OP, you must confront both your fear and your fantasy head-on, or you will always be a slave to them. Your fear of your husband cheating will turn to distrust. Jealousy will become a cancer eating away at your marriage. You will never be able to suppress your fantasy and it will consume you. When you are with your husband you are focused on the fantasy in your head instead of being present in the moment with him. This is an unseen wedge between you that will slowly but steadily drive you apart.

If you face your fears and conquer them, you will come to view your fantasy as a gift for you and your husband. You will achieve a level of trust and intimacy with him much greater than you have experienced. Your jealousy will be vanquished and your realized fantasy will be a fuel that drives your love for each other to greater and greater heights.

This is what you need to do: You must find a woman who is younger, prettier, and sexier than you, and objectively better than you in every way. You must arrange for her to have sex with your husband while you watch. You must acknowledge and honor her obvious superiority. She can be submissive to him, but not to you.

This is not a threesome. You are not a participant. You are there to observe and assist only. As you watch them enjoy each other, you will feel a lot of conflicting emotions. Lean into them. They are all valid. You will feel jealous. You will likely feel humiliated. By accepting your humiliation, and embracing it, you will free yourself from it. For example, you can demonstrate that you understand and accept your subservient role by cleaning them orally after they finish.

You should also arrange for him to have sex with her when you aren't present. You won't have confronted your emotions fully until you find yourself waiting at home alone, knowing that your husband is with her.

Of course, you can't just spring this on your husband out of the blue. You need to be completely honest with him about everything. You need to talk to him about it in advance, agree on what you both expect, plan it, and execute it together.

Good luck! This will be very difficult for you to do, but you can find the courage. Your marriage and the rest of your life is at stake. Follow my advice and you will find clarity, confidence, serenity, and equilibrium.

Please post an update here. Also you should post about your experience on one of the cuckquean subreddits.

As I said, I rejected this pompous and preposterous advice out of hand. I assumed it was just a troll, using my post as an opportunity to put his own perverted fantasy online at my expense. I imagined some fat old guy wanking with one hand as he typed it with the other. But there was one small item at the end that piqued my curiosity. What was a cuckquean and why were there subreddits about it? I decided it wouldn't hurt to check it out.

First of all, I assumed my troll had misspelled it, that it was actually cuckqueen. I was wrong. It is actually spelled -ean. And I discovered there are several subreddits devoted to the topic, all NSFW, where I learned that a cuckquean is a woman whose husband has sex with other women, with her knowledge and consent. She's the female equivalent of a cuckold. But while a cuckold is a cuck, for short, a cuckquean can be either a cuck or a quean for short.

I also learned that the husband's side piece is called a cuckcake, or cake for short. And it seems like, as with a cuckold, the cuckquean is often, but not always, subject to humiliation, disrespect, or contempt by the cake. I wasn't sure that appealed to me. But, it did address my insecurities and feelings of inadequacy head on. I needed to think about that aspect of it. Also, I liked the word cake in this context. It's cute.

I realized my panties were getting wet as I read on my phone about cuckqueans and cuckcakes.

Having scrolled through these various subreddits, most of which were just racy memes and porn clips, I still had a lot of questions, so I turned to google and found lots of websites, blogs, books, and porn videos about cuckqueaning. Who knew? Well, apparently lots of people, but not me. And I imagined that none of my friends, relatives, or acquaintances did either. This was a whole new world that I was completely unaware of.

Of course, I knew something about swinging, polyamory, and ethical non-monogamy. It never appealed to me. I never had any desire to have sex with anyone other than my husband. But this cuckquean subcategory seemed like maybe it was for women like me. Maybe I had found my people! In any case, it was a relief to know that I wasn't the only one with these feelings.

I went back to reread the crazy reply to my post more closely. I noticed my troll's user name was u/Quean_Bea. That sounded like they may not be a dirty old man after all. Maybe my troll was female, and not a troll at all. I thought about PMing them, but chickened out.

I'd spent the entire morning and part of the afternoon online on my phone learning about queans and cakes, and ended up looking at more porn in a few hours than I had ever seen in my whole life. My mind was filled with images of wives guiding their husband's cocks into their cake's pussies and asses, cleaning them both up afterwards, and getting them both ready for a second round. Hubby was at work, and I was horny as fuck. The whole morning had passed and I hadn't left the bedroom, except to use the en-suite bathroom. Even then I was scrolling on my phone as I sat on the pot, I was so engrossed.

I decided to take the rest of the day off as well. As a successful self-employed artist, I was free to do so. And since this was Monday, I would have four more days to catch up on the week's work. At least, that was my rationale.

I got out my (seldom used) Hitachi magic wand and a big silicone dildo, laid down on the bed, and masturbated while I replayed lurid variations of quean_bea's instructions, and what I'd just seen on the internet, in my imagination over and over again. Eventually, after more orgasms than I could count, I was exhausted. And I was hungry. I had skipped breakfast and lunch and didn't even realize it.

I'd also discovered so much more in my browsing today than cuckqueans and cuckcakes. My eyes were also opened to other variations in human sexuality that I was completely unaware of. I began to think that, maybe, I wasn't such a weirdo after all.

I had a quick snack, and took a shower. Enjoying the hot water, I felt strangely energized and motivated. Could I actually do it? Could I really find a hot, young, sexy cuckcake for my husband to fuck? Who could it possibly be? It might take a lot of time to arrange. But I could take the initial steps and see where they might lead, couldn't I? If realizing my fantasy could really vanquish my fears, it would be a double win, right? And I could always back out if I changed my mind before it went too far.

Getting out of the shower I looked at myself in the mirror. I would never be as cute as I hoped our cake would be, when I found her. My breasts were smaller than hers would be. My tummy wasn't as flat as hers. Her pubic hair wouldn't be a thick, dark, unruly bush like mine. I pulled at my thin, stringy, shoulder-length plain brown hair. Our cake would have luxurious, beautiful, radiant hair. And beautiful, sparkling eyes. And a wide, captivating smile.

I realized that I needed to put more effort into my appearance and try to be sexier for my super-sexy husband. He deserved better than I had been giving him.

So I got back in the shower, got out my razor, and shaved my legs and armpits silky smooth. Then I shaved my bush down to a narrow landing strip. I had never removed anywhere near as much hair before, and it made me feel sexy. I started to feel horny again.

After my shower, I put away my toys, put on a form-fitting flower-print sundress, a little bit of makeup, and some perfume. Then I put together a really nice dinner, to have it ready for hubby when he got home. He would be surprised to find me wearing makeup and perfume, and something other than my usual jeans and tee shirt, without it being a special occasion.

Chapter 2 - I resolve to be a better wife.

When hubby walked in the front door, I threw myself at him, wrapped my arms around him and smothered him with kisses. Then, as he was taking off his shoes, I got a beer from the fridge, opened it, and handed it to him. (We don't wear our outdoor shoes in the house.) "I made one of your favorites for dinner tonight. It's almost ready," I said.

"What is this all about?" He replied, confusion written all over his face.

"I decided I'm going to be a better wife, and I'm going to do things every day to show you how much I love you," I said, with a big smile.

"Really! You just decided this?" he asked, looking worried.

"Yes, just today. Don't worry, it's a good thing."

"A good thing," he repeated, looking unconvinced.

"But, before dinner, can I give you a quick blow job?"

"Now? Really?"

"Yes, right now. I want to get on my knees right now and suck your cock."

"Who are you? And what have you done with my wife?" he asked, studying my face.

"I am your wife, like it or not," I replied, pouting.

"I do like it!" he said, smiling. "And I like that dress, and the perfume." He took a swig of the beer I'd handed him. "But it's a bit of a surprise is all."

I knelt on the floor in front of him, right there in our entryway, unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants and pushed them down around his ankles, along with his underpants. His cock was starting to harden as I tickled it with my tongue and wrapped my lips around the head.

He didn't say anything. He just watched me. He was still holding the beer bottle.

As I sucked on his member in my usual desultory fashion, I thought, if I'm going to let hubby be with someone else, I can't have him thinking how badly I suck in comparison. I'd have to step up my game. So after sucking on his knob for a minute, I tried to take it into my throat. Of course I gagged. I always did. So I never tried. This would need to change, starting now. So I kept trying, going just to my limit, backing off and then trying again.

Taking his rigid cock out of my mouth and holding it between my fingers, I looked up into his eyes. "Honey, I want to give you a beejay every day until I overcome my gag reflex. Okay? Will you let me?" I pleaded.

"Are you sure you didn't fall and hit your head or something? You're like a different person," he responded.

"I just want to be a better wife. Much better than I have been," I said.

"You've been a wonderful wife," he replied.

"Well you ain't seen nothin' yet!" I said, softly.

While attempting to deepthroat his big, hard cock, I was looking up into his eyes and thinking, if I'm going to eat his cum out of another girl's pussy, I had better develop a taste for it. Cum, that is. I almost never let him cum in my mouth. And when I did, I always spit it out right away and rinsed as soon as possible. Spitters are quitters, right? I remember someone saying it back when I was in school. At the time I shrugged it off. I knew it's unacceptable and I did it anyway. Starting now, this would have to change too!

Hubby put his beer down on the little table by our front door, next to the key dish and the mail. I fondled his balls with both hands and tickled them and tugged at them while imagining that the big hard cock in my mouth would someday be in our cake's pussy. I started moaning as I gagged on his cock. As I got more and more aroused, I realized that I was gagging less. Maybe being crazy horny suppresses my gag reflex? I put one hand under my dress and pressed my panties against my swollen clit. Instantly I came. Hard. Twitching, and moaning around his throbbing cock.

It pushed him over the edge. He put his hands on my head, which I never let him do before, and he ejaculated in my mouth. The first couple blasts went straight down my esophagus and I never tasted them. But I pulled back a little and soon my tongue was bathed in cum. It had the same taste and texture as always, but this time I told myself I was going to like it. And, you know what? It really wasn't that bad. I even kind of liked it a little bit. It proves what a change in attitude can do.

"Yum!" I exclaimed with a huge grin, after opening my mouth to show him and then making a show of swallowing.

"You didn't used to like it," he said.

"I changed my mind," I replied.

"You changed your mind?" he asked, incredulous.

"Well, I changed my attitude," I replied.

"Well, thank you! That was really great," he said.

"It was my pleasure," I said, truthfully.

He looked at me like I had two heads.

"What's the matter?" I squeaked. "Was I too pushy?"

"No, no, not at all," he replied, scratching his head. "It's just that, well, you're not the same person today that you were this morning. It's a little unnerving, because I don't know why. But I think I like this version of you."

"I'm sorry to be unnerving," I said, pouting. Maybe I needed to slow my roll. I decided I better change the subject. "Pull your pants up and come to the table. I'm going to serve dinner in the dining room for a change."

During dinner, we chatted about his work, and some other things that I don't recall. But mostly I just looked at him while he talked and I thought about how lucky I am. Also, I thought about cakes. Where and how would I find a suitable cake?

As we were finishing up, I asked him "Can I give you another BJ?"