All Comments on 'After Game Orgy'

Nice first start. Would like a little more description of the characters. There is so much going on but all the people meld together. Please keep writing

Overall, nice idea, but there was too much going on in this story. Too many people. Made it too busy and hard to keep up with.

Written by a robot.

Poorly written, too many characters

Agree with LitWarrior that there’s too much going on. Maybe try a couple or threesome next and tell us first some background character history. Why are they a couple. Really watch the verb tenses as the errors are a distraction requiring the reader to stop and think about what you are trying to describe. But write another story, just don’t bite of more than you can chew.