All Comments on 'After the Day'

First of all, this is not a story, but a short scene with no build-up, no narrative and with two nameless, faceless people about whom we know nothing and care not at all. What are their names? Are they young, old, married, having an affair? Where are they and why? All we know are the genitally specific sex acts these anonymous characters are performing. It's like watching the middle of some porn movie clip.

I know this "I/You" thing is very trendy, but it's really bad form. I'm being told I'm doing things that not only I'm not doing, but might actually find to be a turn-off. We know nothing about how the "you" person feels, thinks or what she wants unless the "I" person is a mind-reader.

Then you break from that and refer to the "you" person as "her".

"I lift her head and sit up, kissing her fiercely as I cup her face in my hands."

"What's wrong?" you whisper?" - No question mark there.

I love this. Don’t need a name or a face. Imagination fills those blanks in for me. Perfect.