After the End Ch. 12

"You wouldn't stop me, would you," he said knowingly, reading my reaction.

"No, I wouldn't." But then, it was difficult to think of anything I would stop him from doing.

It was a relief when he finally pulled the toy free, yet somehow my need intensified. Thankfully, he didn't delay any further. He finished stripping, then he positioned me on knees and elbows and worked into me from behind.

"Oh, yes, thank you," I groaned when he reached full penetration.

God, it was amazing to have real pressure in my anal canal after so much unsatisfactory nudging from the plug. Avery's rock-hard rod slid smoothly against every nerve ending and granted all the familiar sensations of bottoming: the tantalizing stimulation, the thrill of vulnerability, the lingering excitement of the forbidden. Plowing into a tight ass was a wonderful experience, but so was being plowed.

He drove into me with serious intent, for once granting what I really wanted. His cock was spurring me toward heights of lust that would have been excruciating if I didn't have the assurance of finally being allowed to dive off the cliff into glorious free-fall.

The rhythmic thrusts against my hyper-activated prostate soon brought me to the edge, even in the absence of other contact.

"I'm about to -- Please can I come?" I begged when the primal impulse grew critical.

"Want you to wait," he told me, and I clenched around him, barely managing not to plead how much longer?

A few more strokes, and he paused to change our positions: he lay on his back and put me on top. This was both excellent and very dangerous. I'd have slightly more control over the anal stimulation, but he'd have complete control of my engorged external organs, which was the much more precarious element when I was required to restrain my climax.

Now he went slowly -- grinding us together, providing decadent pleasure from my inner gland. He pulled my upper body toward him so his lips could caress mine while he moved lazily inside me.

One forefinger and thumb reached for my nipple, adding a new burst of sensation to all the others. He played my overreactive nub exquisitely, with small pinches and presses that sent liquid fire through my veins. I could feel the undertow of orgasm tugging in my core -- a flood of release I could so easily give into.

Instead, I gave in to Avery's will. I let him keep teasing me with hand and mouth and cock, let him keep building the pressure, past what I should have been able to endure. His command held me together, like the surface tension of water that allows a glass to contain more than its volume. My erection strained urgently, and my balls ached with pent-up ejaculate, but I just gripped his shoulders and kissed him like I'd never get another chance.

After a minute, he distanced me a little so he could watch my face. "Look how fucking bad you need it. God, Vik, I love doing this to you -- making you wait, making you take it. Making you give me everything."

I couldn't hold back an embarrassingly loud moan. It was intolerably frustrating, yet in a confusing paradox, singularly satisfying. When someone knew me this well, knew how to stir me up and how long to keep me there, I felt truly...understood. Accepted. Taken care of. The torture transmuted into precious treasure.

I knew what was coming, but that didn't make it any easier when his hand reached for my pulsating rod. He stroked it once: slowly, very loosely, upwards from root to tip.

"Oh Avery..." I groaned, clinging to his shoulders. I fought hard not to let myself be swept away by the wave of delight that surged through me. "I'm so -- so close --"

"Not yet," he smoldered. There was another stroke, excruciatingly soft and tempting. Another wave that threatened to overpower me. "Breathe. I've got you."

I struggled to remember how to fill and empty my lungs: diaphragm contracting, oxygen flowing in; diaphragm relaxing, used air flowing out. His cock was still lodged in my rectum, grinding my inner walls, when he inflicted a third light stroke.

"Relax, Vik," he insisted. "Just enjoy it."

It was too much, but I forced myself to obey -- to loosen the tension and let the waves pass over me. To float on the surface of ecstasy when every cell screamed to bathe in its endless waters.

His fingers kept sliding up my shaft, brushing the corona of my glans, right on the border of what I could tolerate without losing control. I breathed and submitted and rode the waves, while the pressure and the pleasure built to extremes that shouldn't even be possible.

"Avery..." I sighed, utterly abandoned.

"You love it too, don't you?" he asked in that same sultry voice. "Letting me hold you on the edge like this?"

There was no point in denying it. "Yes, yes, I love it..." I love you, I nearly said, the startling words rising unbidden from my depths, but some distant, rational part of my brain stopped me just in time. I had no right to burden him with improper declarations, especially ones I hadn't faced myself.

"You've been so good for me, doctor," Avery said, lust and heartrending affection melting together. He stilled his thrusting and left my cock untouched while he spoke. "Starting now, you have permission to come, just like I promised. But I'm going to give you a choice again."

I pulled in a bracing breath while I processed what that ominous statement might mean.

His nut-brown eyes blazed into mine. "If you choose to come, I won't hold it against you. But if you really want to please me..." He held the bomb another moment before dropping it. "I want you to give up this orgasm too. I want you to choose to deny yourself, after all the edging, all the days you've waited, when you've been right on the brink for so long. It would be the hottest thing you've ever done for me."

I can hardly even describe the firestorm that swept through me. A battle raged between my absolutely imperative need to climax and the equally enormous desire to give Avery whatever he wanted. It was one hundred percent unfair of him to ask this of me when I'd suffered so much and been so close to the end. Incredibly cruel to snatch my freedom away at the last second. Deviously genius, to take even more from me by not requiring it. And yet, the moment he made the request, it became the hottest thing he'd ever done.

He slid his hand up my cock again, and I sobbed his name. I couldn't imagine any situation where I'd be more desperate to let go into the ocean of bliss. But I didn't. Because he didn't want me to.

He resumed massaging his own shaft inside my body. "Which will it be, Vik? Are you going to come?"

I closed my eyes while the storm battered me, but there was only one choice. "No."

It was his turn to groan shamelessly. He pulled me forward again, grabbed my pelvis with both hands, and started pounding into me with urgent force.

"You fucking kill me, do you know that?" he told me in something like a growl. "I'm gonna come so fucking far up your ass."

All I could do was cling to the ledge, and to Avery, and let him have me. His picture-perfect abs tensed rhythmically beneath me while his upper thighs slapped my glutes.

Suddenly his hand closed around my cock. Before I could react, he spoke into my ear.

"Want you to come with me."

Hope bloomed along with the pleasure, but I was afraid to trust it. "But you said -- you wanted --"

"I know." His voice got more strained while his hand started pulling up and down my shaft. "And you gave it to me. Now I want you to have this. Come for me, Vik."

The instant I allowed it, my pelvic muscles began contracting wildly, pumping the semen from its vesicles and burying me in a tsunami of euphoric release. I cried out as the massive current dragged me deep under the surface. At the same time, Avery drove violently into me, pulsing his own climax and painting his cream into my digestive tract.

When we were both completely empty, I collapsed over him, my own ejaculate gluing us together. His arms pulled me in, and I lay boneless, stunned by the speed of my change in fortune.

I didn't have any words. I couldn't have made my jaw work if I did. I drifted where the undertow had deposited me, not trying to sort out the intense emotions. They glimmered around me in aquamarine colors, like rays of sunlight stabbing into fathomless ocean depths. Dazzling and complex, beautiful to the point of pain, but altogether wonderous.

Eventually Avery's voice filtered through the shining waves. "That was incredible."

"Yes." I could generate little more than a whisper. "Thank you."

He stroked my naked back. "You're very welcome."

I didn't want to surface, but after a while we took our trip to the washroom. At least he wasn't leaving until morning. A cold mist was falling outside, but the earthy scent foretold that spring would be upon us sooner than the temperature suggested.

When the lights were out and we'd pulled up the quilt, I fit myself as usual against his lean body. He was quite physically affectionate by nature, and I was grateful for his habit of lying with me on the nights we spent together, whether or not Julian was there. I focused on sensory data -- the rustling of covers, the faint musk of sex, the textures against my skin -- and did my best to ignore the other thoughts. I wouldn't have to deal with those until I was alone.

"If I hadn't let you come, what would you have done?" Avery asked in the darkness beside my head.

"I would have waited until you did."

"What if I'd asked you to wait another whole week?"

"Then I would have had a really long week."

It was quiet a moment before he pronounced, "So hot."

I sighed. To him, it clearly was just a matter of sexual excitement.

"Are you ok?" he asked. "I know I went kind of far."

"I'm ok, Avery." There wasn't anything else to say. If we had that conversation, it would have to include Julian. The three of us would be together again for my birthday in a few days, but it wasn't exactly something I was eager to bring up then. I was hoping the emotional symptoms might resolve on their own, like health symptoms often did.

"You ready to be in your thirties on Friday, like Julian?" he asked next.

Avery wouldn't even turn twenty-six until late May. I knew biologically I was still in the prime of manhood, but I did envy his youth sometimes. As a teenager, I'd always believed I'd be settled with a long-term partner by my mid-twenties, like he was. Instead I was entering my fourth decade alone. Romantically, anyway.

"I suppose I don't have much choice, do I?" I said aloud.

"It's not like you guys are old. But I think it will feel weird to have been an adult for like half my life, when I'm thirty."

"It is a bit bewildering," I agreed.

"Well I think it's going to be a good night for you," he told me cryptically. "So try not to stress about it."

"I'll try." And not only about my age.

February 27 arrived with the first real thaw before spring. Which was something of a misnomer here in Louisiana, where temperatures rarely dropped below zero degrees Celsius for long, even in the coldest months. But the breeze that day was warm instead of cool, with a mellow sweetness that heralded fragrant blossoms and pale green shoots.

Rowan's extra-bright smile and unusually coy mood made it obvious that she was in on the secret Avery had hinted at. Never one for subtlety, she asked with blatantly faked innocence what my plans were that evening. She proceeded to make several unfortunate jokes about my "birthday suit" and "birthday spankings" and whether Avery might show up at the med center with a "birthday present," which was clearly a euphemism for his cock.

The two of them had a rather unusual relationship where they talked openly about sex, including their interest in each other, yet it didn't seem to cause any tension. Somehow I got caught in the crossfire, but I knew she had no malicious intent, so I didn't rise to her bait. Although I hadn't completely avoided blushing the other day when she'd made it perfectly plain that she knew Avery had been fooling around with me in the office, and that my abiding hard-on was visible.

I didn't find out what the mystery plans were until I walked into the main hall that evening to meet Avery and Julian for a drink, and the place erupted in shouts of "Surprise!" I froze in the doorway while a couple dozen of my family, friends, and colleagues grinned and called well wishes. I'd been expecting a quiet night with my two lovers, after the dinner I had earlier with my extended family, and it was a bit unnerving yet unexpectedly moving to be celebrated by so many people.

Avery came to my rescue, taking my arm and leading me toward a table that was laid with cake, spiced nuts, and fermented cider. My siblings and parents were there, and all the medical staff who weren't on duty, and a number of notable community leaders. As one of only two doctors in a sixty mile radius, I was often invited to exclusive social events, so it made sense that they would reciprocate by attending my party, even if I hadn't known about it.

"Did you and Avery organize this?" I asked Julian while his partner was gathering everyone to watch me blow out the candles on my cake. He'd put on the fatigue-green dress shirt I'd given him for Christmas, which highlighted his stunning Hellenistic features. Avery looked just as nice in dark grey, and both were adorned with the matching leather necklaces they always wore.

"Not by ourselves," Julian answered. "Rowan and your family helped. But it was Avery's idea."

"It's very thoughtful of you all. I appreciate it."

Rowan lit the tiny flames, and I made a wish before extinguishing them, to boisterous cheers. I didn't really enjoy the spotlight, but I knew they all just wanted my day to be special. Which it certainly was.

We shared slices of rich pumpkin cake, they toasted my health, and an embarrassing pile of gifts collected for me on the table near the door. Some people played games; I mostly chatted, since each attendee wanted personally to wish me a happy birthday.

I was in good spirits by the time Avery, Julian, and I left for their quarters. Rowan had wrangled several others into helping her clean up so that we didn't have to -- making thinly veiled references to sexual activities she hoped the three of us would engage in, of course.

"You were super surprised, huh?" Avery gushed on the way there. "I was so worried Rowan would give it away. She can keep a secret like a vault, but she gets way too excited when it comes to planning special events."

I couldn't help laughing. "She acted suspicious all day, but not enough for me to figure out specifics."

"Well, happy thirtieth," he told me, reaching an arm briefly across my shoulders. "I hope you had fun."

"I did," I said sincerely. "Couldn't have asked for more."

He shot a glance at Julian, whose expression didn't change. "Might be one or two more things you could ask for," Avery hinted. "But we can talk about that inside."

A nervous thrill traveled my gut. The possibilities for what they might have in store ranged from sweet to spine-chilling. And there was still the matter of that conversation we probably needed to have.

Avery was practically vibrating with anticipation by the time we arrived at their room. I was at least relieved not to find any new torture devices set up.

"Sit down," he directed me, pointing at the bed, then he immediately crawled to sit next to me. "Julian wanted to do this later, but can we please, please tell him now?" He looked up at his partner with adorably beseeching eyes. "I'm too excited."

Julian indulged him with one of those subtle aristocratic smiles. "Alright." He took a seat on the worn quilted bedspread, angled toward Avery and I.

"You tell him -- it was your thing," Avery urged.

The nerves prepared me for action again as Julian focused on me.

"You remember around the solstice, I spoke to someone who I thought might make a good partner for you," he opened.

I nodded, more activity fluttering in my gut. He'd updated me later, explaining vaguely that the other man was unavailable due to a family situation. I'd been disappointed, but it wasn't unexpected. I was used to rejection in my romantic life, after all.

"He let me know this week that he's spoken to his family and made some plans, and he would like to see where things might go with you. And that person is...Gavin Andreassen."

For the second time that night, I was shocked into stillness. The name didn't make sense with the other statements. Gavin's family situation was that he was married with kids. To a wonderful woman.

"But...how...?" I stammered.

Avery, grinning and vibrating again beside me, jumped in before Julian could. He explained in a rush about Gavin's bisexuality, and his history with Julian, and his arrangement with Madelyn, and his decision to stop hiding.

It was all coming together: Julian's questions on the eve of the solstice, encouraging me to share who I was attracted to, even if they appeared straight. How he could know of a potential partner when I didn't. The reason for the secrecy.

"So?!" Avery demanded eagerly. "Are you surprised? Are you happy? Do you want to go out with him?"

Julian laughed and corralled him into a side hug. "Give him a chance to process, babe. It's a lot of information."

"Fine," Avery fake-pouted, but he kept watching me.

"I --" I struggled to get my bearings amidst this whirlwind revelation. Was it really possible that my long-time crush was interested in me too? "Yes. Of course. I'd love to go out with him. This is -- very surprising, and happy."

Avery reached for my hand and closed his fingers around mine. I knew it was for support and friendship and nothing else, but it was still nice.

"We sort of...did a little advance planning," he said, "We told him we would be telling you today, and Gavin invited all three of us to their house on Sunday evening, for tea and stuff. Rowan checked your schedule, and you're off. Julian thought we could do a double date. If you want."

I took a breath to try to slow my abruptly elevated heart rate. I wouldn't have expected a simple tea invitation to make me so nervous. Negotiating the first threesome with Julian had seemed much less fraught than this. I guessed it was because my relationship with these two was always intended to be casual, whereas a potentially serious partnership was riding on this date.

Before I could collect a response, Julian spoke with his usual soothing combination of composure and authority. "Vik, please don't feel obligated to take any action right away. Gavin had two months to consider the possibility, and you just found out he's even available. If you want to think about it, or take more than two days to prepare, he won't be at all put off. It's simply an offer."

It was all feeling a little overwhelming. Whether things ended up working out with Gavin depended on many factors, a number of which weren't easy to contemplate or confront. Like my most shameful deficiencies, long-suppressed fears, and past heartaches. Not to mention present relational dilemmas.

"This is why I wanted to tell him after," Julian noted quietly to his husband. "It probably would have been easier for him if we were in bed and he had more space to think it over."

"It's alright, Julian," I said before Avery could launch into a guilt spiral. "I want to go on Sunday. I'm glad you two will be there. I'm just...nervous. It's been a while since I..." had to face up to whether I'm really partner material, I finished in my head. "It's just been a while," I summarized out loud. "But I'm very, very appreciative of the efforts you've made on my behalf. Thank you, truly." I only hope it wasn't all for nothing.

"Happy to do it," Julian told me. I studied his expression -- clear and kind; unguarded. He had elite-level ability to conceal his emotions, but I didn't sense anything hidden tonight. Given this turn of events, maybe I needed to admit my transgressions sooner rather than later.