All Comments on 'After the Gym'

This is written like it's by someone who has never had sex, or even talked to a woman for that matter.

I swear I’m not trying to be offensive but this story comes across as having a very naive perspective, are you even old enough to be reading porn let alone having sex?

I know it probably does feel offensive but it’s just the impression I got from your writing style. The actions seem implausible, mechanical, forced and pretty clumsy unless the character himself is sexually inept? Honestly the way you describe the mauling of her body isn’t likely to get a woman to squirt, the majority of women aren’t masochistic you’re more likely to get a knee to the balls if you actually do bite a woman’s nipples. Most people don’t use clinical terms to describe their anatomy unless they’re talking to a medical professional, even though you used other generic slang terminology too. The range of what this guy managed to achieve in one night is impressive, I hate to burst your bubble but real people generally clean up after sex instead of; “leaving them cum drenched as we fell asleep”.

It’s not as though you wrote anything sickeningly gross, they’re all perfectly reasonable healthy normal sexual activities, the way it was presented seemed really rushed and implausible, or as though you were working your way through a checklist of sexual acts?

Again I sincerely apologise because even though it’s not what I intended I can see that my feedback is harsh and could easily be seen as mocking. I admire your courage in actually submitting stories, I haven’t even done that yet. Best of luck with your writing.

Tess (UK)

I heard that if you to many cars you get really bad indigestion, belch a lot and exhaust a lot of smelly gas out the rear end.