All Comments on 'Alena's Game Ch. 18'

Sorry about the publishing delay... for some reason it got stuck in the approvals queue. Hope it's a fitting end and also a good beginning to the next part of the story arc

Just really love all 18 chapters, and the Descriptions of sexual Interactions, had me rereading them over a couple of time, even though some were Quite brutal And I loved every single 1 of them. After it was what they both wanted and needed so Desperately..

Fantastic series. I have a big soft spot for Quinn, after all of this, and I'm looking forward to seeing him and Cassie in the next series.

So quiet reader here, for the last 10 parts or so. I already spoke in length about how I perceived what you wrote. In chapter 1 and later chapter 8. I actually read further just because I was interested if there was actually any light at the end and because of your comment in chapter 1. About how it might be possibe that not the dominant one actually has the power. My conclusion is, that it was always Alena who had the power. Classic D/s relationship but with more abuse than normal. I actually think that the whole story was textbook psychology depiction of an abusive relationship and how you condition the person to stay in that relationship. I mean, Alena admitted exactly to that. Thats the really sad part in my opinion. But finally it ended and I hope that Cassies story will be better, or atleast less abusive, cruel and dark as this one.

You really have no reason to apologise.

This story is superbly written: it rapidly had me hooked and I've followed it all the way.

It is a finely crafted work. Your 'fetish' of grammar and punctuation is particularly welcome!

Many thanks indeed.

I followed the whole thing even though it was pretty harsh at times. Alena comes across as a bit of a sociopath. I think if you put in more loving scenes between the harsh ones and showed her worrying about where she screwed up more, it would have been recieved better. Quinn was written well. Overall enjoyed it.

I loved it!

I read a comment saying that Alena had the power, and in the same breath said it was classical phycological writing...

I disagree...

The sub ALWAYS have the power!

And the one could argue about things missing and stuff...

Yes - i would have liked a wider social context - i wish that the loving side was more emphasized - i would have been grateful to have seen a more explicit aftercare...

But all that is just a detail given the sublime effort that's been made to create this piece...

I was enthralled from the beginning to the end, and I'm going to read "the continuation"

A dark and depressing story of coercive control. It's not fdom, just abuse.

Not sure what some of the reviewers are thinking as this is an outstanding series of works. You have a finger on the pulse of a true submissive. The way you portray the love between the two, the journey each takes for each other and for themselves, and the ultimate twist of Quinn's loss of his love and domme, is truly brilliant.

One of the most engrossing tales I have read on Litorotica. I laughed, teared up, hated, and was elated in the trip these two were in. The ending pulled it all together and gave me closure. What a ride!

What a depressing story this has been, I shan't be reading anything more of yours.

A beautifully written, captivating story. A roller coaster ride for those of us who don’t quite understand this lifestyle. I am much better off after reading this intriguing, personal adventure. I hope it is all fiction!

Read to the end, sort of appeals that in the end Karma brought this borderline sociopath the pain she deserved in the end. I’ve been is a DS relationship and this was more a take of coercion, manipulation and abuse. Where a supposedly loving partner set out to break her partner, using his love of her and conditioning together her kicks.

Great read but harrowing at times, the husbands now so broken there’s no escape from his conditioning. The therapist did t do much to help him really.

Wow - A truly amazing piece of work.

I've read all of the Alena series and what an incredible journey you've taken us on. Whilst I appreciate that it's only a work of fiction, the plot was very feasible and realistic. This all could happen, which made the story even more compelling. I found myself totally captivated by the emotions that Quinn was experiencing, leaving me to replay the scenes in my mind long after I'd finished reading each chapter - the mark of a first class work. It's been 5 stars all the way for every chapter.

There were a few minor errors, but the detail, pace and grammar were excellent. My only reservation was that eventually he would have realised that Alena was only ever bluffing with the torturous scenarios that were played out, and the powerful mind games would eventually diminish and have have less impact if the series was to go any further. Just once Alena needed to carry out her ultimate threat, to demonstrate that she was truly free and no longer needed Quinn for her pleasure. Quinn would have been genuinely broken by this, and the journey of rebuilding a new relationship under Alena's control would have been both emotional and interesting. Maybe Quinn with his time in his car 'safe space' which was mentioned in a latter chapter of Alena's Games, made an impulsive emotional decision and moved out of the family home? Alena would have had to work hard to prove her love for him, even if again it was only another buff, but not confessed until after their relationship had broken down? ...Just a thought, but it's difficult to improve on perfection.

Thank you for making the effort and produce such an incredible read.

I owe you an apology. I’ve not given you the 5 stars you deserve for each chapter of this brilliant piece of work because so many times I simply forgot it in my haste to click the link to the next chapter. Every chapter in this story is worth all 5 stars. This is magnificent on so many levels and should be a published novella (novel – not sure how long it taps out at). You should be getting paid handsomely for the craftmanship of this piece. Haunting, chilling, intimate, intensely erotic. It certainly pushed a lot of my buttons and went even further, deeper on others. Many times, I had to put my tablet down and then carried your last chapter in my thoughts until I could pick my tablet back up again and continue.

Where to begin? The characters are wonderful, hateful, interesting and charming – that perfect slice of humanity that you’ve tapped into to light up both protagonists like a rainbow. I hated Alena for being so cruel and then was gut punched when she dropped the veil and showed such tenderness towards Quinn. And she was everyman’s fantasy of the unrelenting strict dominant. Quinn was me in so many ways and like him, I struggle with the masculine stereotype vs. the submissive worm. He’s conflicted for the entire story arc but it – she – just pulls him deeper, pulls him along while he pulls her along in a dance where the lead changes subtly from one moment to the next. I loved these two and will miss them both dearly.

The constant realization that Alena has passed on hangs like a dark cloud over what could be her obituary, as told through their actions by Quinn. His love for her is never questioned, especially by his actions, even as he’s questioning himself. As cruel and nasty as she is to him, she’s a tragic figure that tugs at your heart in her moments of vulnerability.

You capture, albeit the power of consensual non-consensual power play. The most powerful realization is when your partner, the one you love like no other, wants to do terrible nasty things to you and you know that you want her to. I despise “topping from the bottom”, when the submissive ultimately has control of the dynamic and the dominant is merely acting out the submissives. All of my experience has come from a CNC perspective – once the gift of submission is given, the submissive truly is incapable of altering the dynamic, unless the safeword is used. Of course, this is my particular kink and not everyone’s, as witness to some of the disparaging comments you’ve received from those who are offended at a piece of fantasy literature. The intensity of Alena’s dominance and Quinn’s submission is one of the most erotic relationships I’ve read, definitely up in the top three pieces I’ve read on the subject of CNC.

To conclude: just a brilliant piece of work, truly a masterpiece. I’ve read the Wonderland series out of sequence and now I’ve got to go back and do it the right way. Please, if you ever take the (well earned) plunge and publish, post your link in your bibliography. I’ll gladly support your writing. Thanks so much for sharing!!!

@ToranAllaires thank you for taking the time to comment so extensively. I'm glad that you found the characters to be believable even though their activities are extreme. The intention was to explore the power exchange and the trust between the two of them, even to the end, as you say: the subtle dance where each takes the lead from time to time as they go further into the unknown. I've enjoyed writing this book - it was a challenge at times - and I hope it shows in the writing. As for publishing, that seems a big step, so for now it's just going to stay here.

@heartfeltman I'll leave this comment waiting for you as you work your way through to the end. Thank you for the kind words. I hope the ending was fitting for the build-up.

@oneagainst, this has been a pleasure.

This is my first experience with your writing, and I recognize there's a particular universe in which these lives collide. I will most certainly continue. I have become emotionally invested in the lives of these people, and there were hints of other dynamics that I was not aware of (Cassie/Lilly). There was even a particular plot point that completely had me fooled, and you clearly understand how wonderful that is for the reader.

It was brilliant, but I couldn't handle the sad undertone. It played too much on my darkest fears. The bereavement element I just felt wasn't needed in my honest opinion. I'd loved to have read a version with that edited out.

The writing is good, maybe too good, very graphic, painful and balls-shrinking. Figure that's why I can't finish it.

I believe I'm too vanilla for this whole humiliation submission relationship. Not kink-shaming to anyone into this.

4 for the story and writing, cheers.

Incredible, but sad too. Reader ToranAllaires wrote a brilliant analysis. That in itself speaks to the quality of the writing and story-telling.

Mit Tränen in den Augen, danke....