Alex and Kat

She wandered into Megan's room. "Mummy?"

"Yeah sweetheart. I'm here."

"What are you doing in there?"

Megan reached out and pulled her onto the covers. "I was feeling lonely, just like you. Alex came in to keep me company."

"Can I keep you company too?" Jess asked.

"You sure can baby." Megan said. You snuggle down while I go to the toilet okay."

Laying on top of the blankets, Jess snuggled beside me. Megan returned in Pjs and pulled Jess into a cuddle.

"You should go to the toilet as well." Megan said softly.

I found another pair of Pjs on the basin. Jess already snuggled around Megan when I climbed back into bed. She stayed in the middle, making Megan giggle. "She's a hell of a chaperone."

I nodded. "Yeah, she has that affect."

The next few days went fast. Megan acting as our tour guide took us to all of the best spots. An amazing few days full of fun and new experiences. In the evenings, we all painted, listened to music. My passion for art burned brighter than ever. Maybe because I had been away from it entirely, but now reignited the flames burned brighter than ever.

Jess as well, seemed to find a connection with the paint brush. There was definitely a talent bubbling away, as yet unfulfilled.

After Jess was asleep, Megan and I made love with a wanton purpose, trying to capture what we lost. Jess, the little devil, she was not going to be left out. She no longer even bothered going into the room that was supposed to be mine.

She climbed over Megan to wriggle and squirm her way under the blankets. The little traitor knew Megan well. She targetted her knowing she wouldn't try to get her to go back to her own bed. Megan simply cuddled her tight, enjoying the closeness.

Our leaving day was upon us before I was ready. We had to go, and it broke my heart. All these years lost, my only payment being Jess. Not that I would ever forgo her.

Megan and I hugged crazily standing beside the car. "Come back Alex, please. Just go home, pack up your shit and come back."

I didn't know what to say... Yes, I wanted to say yes, but I had a life back home as well. A job, friends, family. Strange as it seems, I loved teaching. I adored working with kids. I almost had to wrench Jess from Megan's arms. She didn't want to leave, and she punched and kicked as I strapped her in her car seat.

We were almost in Murchison, a two hour drive from Takaka before Jess stopped crying. We had a quiet lunch, before carrying on our way. At home, Jess was at least talking to me. We slept cuddled together as my mind swirled in a thick mist of confusion. It wasn't even a day and I missed her so much. My heart ached, my tummy in knots.

My mother came for a visit the next day. She looked nervous as she walked in. "Hello love. How did the holiday go?"

"Good, you'll never guess who I bumped into?"

Mum's face dropped, her cheeks pale, sallow. Her eyes showed the guilt.

"How could you Mum. How could you do that to me?"

"It was for your own good Alex. Bloody hell, what sort of life would you have had living with her?"

"A wonderful one. It wasn't just her Mum. I wanted to be an artist. I wanted that."

"Oh please, how could you make any money painting. Do you know how many artists fail? Jesus Christ Alex. Think about it. You would have been ostracised, people pointing the finger. Laughing at you, and at us. What sort of life would it have been?"

"Mum, I hate you right now. I think you should go."

"Why, I haven't even seen Jessica yet. Where is she?"

"Next door playing with her friends."

"That's another thing Alex. You would never have had Jess. I know Kevin, hasn't been much of a husband, but he did give us Jess."

"Yeah, one good thing came out of all this. Christ Mum. You didn't even talk to me, just pushed me into a life I didn't want. I loved, Megan. Do you hear me." I yelled between sobs. "I fucking loved her, I still do."

"No, don't say that. You're not like that. You're just confused my love. Once you get back to school, get into a routine. You'll see. All those thoughts will have evaporated. You'll meet a nice man."

"Like hell I will. I'm... We, Jess and I are going to live with Megan. She's already asked us."

"What, don't be ridiculous. You can't throw everything away for a stupid childish infatuation."

"Weren't you listening Mum. I love her, she loves me. We were meant to be together."

"Oh for the love of god. You're talking like a stupid little girl. Think about Jess for heavens sake. Think about what her life would be like. Laughed at, ridiculed. Don't even think about it young lady."

"Mum, fuck you. Jess, loves Megan, I had to rip her out of Megan's, arms to try and convince her to come home with me."

"Good god all mighty, Alex. Stop behaving like a crazy mixed up girl. You're old enough to know better. You have a career. You're a respected member of the community. You have friends."

"No, we're going. As soon as I can pack everything up. We're moving, I'm going to be with the person who loves me more than anything."

"You're still married Alex. Have you thought about that. Do you think Kevin, will let his daughter grow up in that sort of environment. He'll want custody."

"Then he'll have to fight for it, because I'll never give her up."

Shaking her head in disbelief, mum turned and stormed out to her car. "I can't listen to any more of this gibberish. I'll come back in a few days and we can talk properly. You are not destroying this family because of some silly girlish phase."

"Deal with it Mum. I'm a lesbian, got it. I love, Megan."

With her gone, I flopped back on my sofa. I didn't mean to say all of those things. I hadn't even decided if we would move.

Sitting there though, it started to formulate. Staying seemed untenable. I missed Megan, missed seeing her, feeling her, smelling her. Holding her in my arms, being held. I missed it all.

On a whim, I dialled her number.

"Were you serious. Don't say anything other than yes, or no. I need to know right now."

The phone was silent for what felt like an age. "Yes."

"You're serious?" I asked.

"Alex, I miss you so much. I don't want to be apart. I love you, I want us to be together. To be a family, the three of us. Jesus girl. I miss Jess, so much, I slept in her bed last night, simply because her smell was still there. You have to come back before that smell leaves completely. It's all that I have left."

"Megan, think carefully about the question I'm about to ask. Okay?"

"Yeah, go."

"Would you move down here? I have a job, a house, a life. You could be here with us. Would you move?"

"Yes." Her answer was immediate, no delay, no thinking. "Alex, if that's what you want. I'll be there tomorrow."

I laughed loudly. "You crazy bitch. You'd come down here?"

"Alex, I'd go anywhere. If you and Jess are there, then I want to be there as well. Shit, I can paint anywhere."

"Thanks, that's all I needed to know. Are you defo about Jess, and I moving in with you? I mean I wouldn't have a job, an income."

"Fuck the money." We'll make it work. There are schools here. They all need teachers. You might not of heard, but there's a country wide crisis. Teachers are in short supply."

"What should I do with all my stuff?" I asked.

"Bring it, sell it. Do what you want. Anything you're attached to bring. Sell the rest, but whatever you do. Hurry."

Just like that. My mind was made up. I was going... Then my mind turned to, Jess. What would she say?

That afternoon she got back from the neighbours, and I was already packing.

"Whatcha doing Mummy?"

I patted the bed beside me. "Come and sit baby. I want to talk to you."

She sat nervously. "Sweetheart, how would you feel if we went to live with, Megan?"

I heard her gasp in shock. "Do you mean it Mummy?"

"Yes sweetheart. I am very serious. We won't if you don't want to. This is your decision too."

She smiled. "I want to, I'll miss Nan, but I love, Megan. She's special."

"Yes she is sweetheart. Very special, and I love her as well."

"You do?" She gasped. "You love her?"

"I do baby cakes, I love her with all my heart."

"Is that why you slept with her?"

"Yes, I hate being away from her. I miss her like crazy sweetheart."

"So do I." She replied.

"Then pack your things sweetheart. Anything you want to take we will. Everything else, we will sell."

The school was sad when I handed in my notice.

Mum and Dad, were devastated, but it was Jess, who calmed them down. She talked about how much she loved Megan, and how wonderful the house was.

Dad took it better than Mum. He helped me clean out the house, run the monster garage sale. Mum did come around. She spent every waking moment with Jess. She still hadn't forgiven me, but she loved Jess, and wasn't missing a chance to spend time with her.

As we prepared to drive off. Mum drew me into her arms. "We're going to miss you my love."

"Mum, you have the caravan. You're always going to be welcome to park up and stay with us. It's only two months to Christmas, come and stay with us."

"What about Megan?"

"She'd love to have you stay."

We were barely in the driveway when Megan came running headlong towards the car. Jess, already unbuckling her car seat.

It wasn't all easy. It took me a while to get a job, but I found work as a cleaner, fruit picking. Anything really.

Kevin wasn't entirely happy, but his new girlfriend was pregnant and he wasn't able to take Jess even if he wanted to.

Finally, we had found ourselves. Megan and I, we were so deeply in love. It didn't matter what the world threw at us after that. Nothing was tearing us apart now.