Alex - The Novella

I stood there, wondering if they'd mind if I got into the car and drove off. This seemed like something Alex had to deal with herself. But I stayed. I wanted to be there if Alex needed me.

"What did you expect, 'na? I didn't see any of you sticking up for me!" she exploded, drawing concerned looks from passers by.

Arvin's face was pained. "What could I do? I..."

I watched as the siblings tried to push the blame around. It was a whole lot of coulda, woulda, shouldas. They were starting to attract a small crowd. A Malay family stood in the background, the kids sucking on candy as they watched the fight.

I held up my hand. "Guys. Now is not the time. You're both here to see your dad. Visiting hours end soon. You need to get your butts in there." I turned to Alex. "You - you are just buying time so you don't have to go in there and face your fears."

They looked at each other and back at me. Alex looked frustrated and guilty at the same time. Arvin looked away as though he were ashamed of himself.

"You're right," she said finally, coming forward to press a kiss on my cheek. "We'll go."

"I'm sorry," Arvin said suddenly, still unable to look his sister in the eye.

I got back in the car and watched as the pair entered the building. Arvin seemed to be chattering away again but Alex had her arms crossed.

I sighed, turning the key in the ignition. There were certain battles I wouldn't be able to fight for her.

Chapter Thirteen

I was wasting time at a food court when I got a text from Alex an hour later. Shopping bags littered my feet but anxiety still churned my stomach. I tapped my foot nervously on the tiled floor as I read the text.

Where are you? My oldest brother wants to have a chat over dinner. I'd like you to be there.

I bit my lip. The last thing I wanted to do was upset people with my presence.

Are you sure? I don't want it to be a problem.

The response was instantaneous.

It won't. It's 23 Sin Ming Avenue. How long will you be?

I begrudgingly picked up the slew of bags around me, mentally girding my loins for a confrontational evening.

20 minutes, I think. Shouldn't be much traffic. I'll text you if I get lost.

Her response made me smile. I hadn't gotten used to us exchanging those three little words yet.

Okay, babe. I love you.

*

I sat outside the veritable mansion and gawked at the three-story structure. It was a beautiful home nestled in the corner of a quiet street. A curved driveway with lush bougainvillea lined on one side greeted me as the electric iron gates buzzed open. I glanced down woefully at my cut-off jeans shorts and the Cotton On tee that had seen better days.

Good luck, Cady.

A heavily pregnant yet extremely petite lady waited on the end of the driveway, waving at me with one hand placed lovingly on her belly. She was pale - paler than I was after my rigorous tanning schedule - and had very striking features. Her eyes were a lovely amber that I noticed even 10 feet away. I waved back hesitantly as I parked the car behind a swanky Mercedes.

As I turned the ignition off, she rushed forward and popped open the car door. My mind immediately screamed a warning: Too Friendly! I fought the urge to recoil and instead focused on putting one foot after the other and getting out of the car.

"You must be Cady," she smiled widely, extending her hand. "I'm Mira, Alex's sister-in-law. Arjun's wife."

I shook her hand, wondering where in the world Alex was.

"Nice to meet you. You have a beautiful home."

"Thank you. I loved it at first. But you know what? Now there's too many stairs!" We'd just started up the porch steps. She clung to the railing for support and I grasped her upper arms to help her up.

She released a long breath at the top of the short flight of stairs. "Thank you. The doctor says any day now." She patted her belly. "We are hopeful."

She spoke with a very thick Indian accent, much unlike the locals here.

"Where in the States are you from?" she asked as an older lady, presumably the maid, came forward with two iced drinks. "Alex told me you are a teacher."

I accepted the cool drink and took a sip. "I'm from New York, born and raised. I studied in Sheffield for a bit before I moved to Singapore."

"Ah, that's nice." She lowered herself into plush chair and gestured for me to do the same. "A friend of the family is doing her Masters at Columbia next year."

"Cool," I said noncommittally, looking around at the elaborate Indian deco and rich carpeting and the giant TV that could easily double as a movie theatre screen. I felt the first spark of anger in my belly when I realized that these people - these selfish, ignorant bigots - had thrown Alex out of the house with nothing when they had all this!

The cloying scent of joss sticks didn't really help my mood.

Mira followed my gaze. "The men are in the office."

My eyes snapped back to her. She quickly clarified. "Not to say that Alex is a man in any way. It's just... something I am used to saying." She looked back down at her drink.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "Maybe I should see her. I think she asked me to come here for a reason."

"Oh, of course." She set her drink on a corner table and tried to rise from her chair. Despite my reservations, I helped her up. Karma and all that.

She led us down a hallway of colorful cloth paintings to a closed door. We could hear raised voices behind it. One of which was unmistakably Alex.

When no one responded to Mira's knock, she pushed the door in. Alex stood across from her oldest brother, I assumed. Her second brother, Arvin, had curled himself into a couch in the corner, obscured by the mahogany shelves that lined the walls, floor to ceiling. The look on his face indicated he didn't want to be anywhere near the situation.

The resemblance between Alex and her oldest brother was striking. Both stood at 5'9 with similar builds. Their profiles, with their slightly too-long noses and thick bottom lips, were uncannily similar. Unlike their mother and brother, both of them had darker, russet skin.

Neither of them had noticed Mira and I walking in.

"Why is it so hard for you to be normal? You always have to do things your way. You're so selfish! Have you ever thought about your family? Our image?"

Alex ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know why I bother talking to you when you don't listen, 'na. This is who I am! I can't change that. Tie me up in a sari and send me to church every goddamn day and I'll still be this person."

"Why can't you just pretend, huh? Until Appa goes. You know he has very little time left. Make him happy! That's all we ask, Amala."

"You're not listening to me..."

"...because all I hear is the sound of a child trying to justify her stupid decisions! Would it kill you to pretend for a few days? I'm not asking you to change yourself - God forbid!"

Alex looked like she was on the verge of frustrated tears. I felt my blood boil.

"Look," I interjected, and three very surprised heads turned towards me. "Alex has had to give up everything to be who she is. Why should she 'pretend'," I spat the word at him, "for even a second so all of you can feel comfortable in your hetero world? If you can't see what a loyal, kind, sweet and loving person she really is because she's gay, that's your goddamn problem!"

I really hadn't meant to yell. It went against every conflict resolution seminar I'd attended. But years of defending Charm against pricks in high school (this was before she'd had her growth spurt) were hard to shake. The words just seemed to tumble out of me.

Arjun crossed his arms and looked at me. "And who are you to poke your nose into our family business?"

"She's my girlfriend." Alex hadn't even hesitated. Arjun muttered a string of words in Tamil and look upwards as though he were praying for patience.

Mira appeared from behind me and bustled into the room. "We are all a little tense right now. Arjun, sit down before you give yourself a stroke - I'm not raising this baby alone. Let's all talk about this like adults."

Heavily pregnant and barely over five feet, Mira seemed to command everyone's attention without even raising her voice.

Alex spoke first. "Anni, you need to sit down. You shouldn't be walking around so much."

Arjun moved from his desk chair and Mira lowered herself into it carefully. Alex and I sat on a plush tub chair that faced the desk. Arvin didn't move from his hideaway corner.

"Now," Mira said, leaning back in her seat. "No more shouting. It's bad for the baby."

We were duly chastised.

"I don't know what my husband has said to upset you but I wanted you here for a reason, Alex."

"You wanted me here?"

Mira nodded. "We don't know each other. Actually, I didn't even know Arjun had a sister until we got married." She looked pointedly at her husband. "After which he learned a lesson about keeping secrets from his wife.

"Anyway," she continued. "When I heard what they'd done to you, I was so upset. I refused to believe that people could be so heartless. You were a child." She placed her palm on her baby bump, caressing it lovingly. "I refuse to believe that if my child were a little different, this family would shun it, too."

Arjun started to reassure her but she held up a hand. "No more, Arjun. You've done enough here."

"Anni, I'm fine. I survived. I'm doing well now." Alex grasped my hand in both of hers.

Mira eyes drifted down to our joined hands. She smiled. "I know. But this family has to right a wrong. Whether you forgive these fools for their behavior... I don't care. But your..." she said a string of words in Tamil, "shouldn't be what my child is born into."

Alex leaned in and whispered, "It's like bad karma."

Arjun retrieved a folder from his desk and carelessly slapped it onto the mahogany table. The look he received from his wife was withering.

Mira picked up the folder and flipped through it. "Your legal name is still Amala?"

Alex frowned. "Yes, but..."

Mira set the folder down on the desk with the open pages facing up. "Arjun is buying you out."

She picked up a fountain pen and placed it on top of the papers.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Out of what?"

"Your inheritance, ponnu. You were born into this family and you have every right to it."

Alex laughed. "Legally, I don't."

Mira eyed her husband again. "Yes, well, there shouldn't be legality between family. This man here doesn't seem to know that. Always so fast with the lawyer talk."

Arjun remained silent - I assumed this was uncharacteristic of him.

"So, here. This is yours. It's non-negotiable. You take it or we put it in an account and let it gather dust until you claim it. This is your birthright, Alex. Take it. Use it. Go to University. Buy a house. Whatever you want."

Alex didn't move. Instead, she said, "I don't want it."

Mira sat back in her chair again and placed her interlaced fingers over her belly. I felt like I was in a very warped, very ethnic version of Godfather.

"Then what do you want?" Mira asked.

Alex's hands tightened around mine. Her voice almost broke as she said, "I want my family."

I felt tears threatening as I swallowed the lump in my throat. Mira rose from her chair, chastising her husband in what sounded like, 'look what you've done'. She waddled over and took Alex's face in her hands.

"You have me," she said. "And you'll have this baby. We're your family."

"So am I, Amala." Arvin finally chirped up from his corner. "I know there's nothing I can say to make up for everything. I should've protected you... I'm your older brother. But I let them chase you out. I'm so sorry."

He came forward and knelt in front of her, placing his head in her lap. I moved away to let them have their moment. A small smile tugged at my lips but it quickly faded as Arjun walked out of the study.

Alex watched her brother leave but Mira told her to ignore her husband. "You still have family, Alex. Believe that. People like my husband and your parents may never understand your... leanings. I'm not even sure if I do. But you have a right to be in this family. So here."

She plucked the folder from the desk and thrust it Alex's hand. "Take it. It's yours. It's been signed. We want to do this for you."

I followed Arjun out of the study. I'm not even sure what compelled me to. He was in the kitchen, leaning against a counter, sipping a glass of water.

"What is your problem?" I snapped. He almost dropped the glass in surprise.

"What?"

"What is your problem? Why can't you accept Alex for who she is? Why is it so wrong for her to live her life as an openly lesbian woman?"

He cringed. "Don't use that word. I hate it."

"What word?" I prodded. "Lesbian?"

"Yes."

I snorted. "That's just one part of her, Arjun. Even if you disagree with one facet of who she is, there's so much more to love. Why can't you look past the one thing you disagree with?"

He said nothing.

"We're just people, Arjun," I said softly, hoping beyond hope that I could get through to him in some small way.

He turned away from me and poured the excess water down the sink. "You know," he said with his back still turned, "When my mother told me about you after she visited your apartment, I did a background check on you. You've got a clean record. Good schools, privileged life, boyfriends of good social standing. You've never done anything even remotely wrong. It would be a real pity if that should change."

"What?" I asked, genuinely baffled by the change in direction of the conversation.

"'Sapphic teacher seduces student' - sounds like a good headline, doesn't it?"

It took a few seconds for me to properly understand what he was saying. "You're disgusting!" I gasped when it finally dawned on me.

"Make Amala take the money and leave us alone. My wife will finally be happy and leave me in peace."

Before words of outrage could tumble out of me, a voice behind me said, "If you say another word, your wife will kill you."

I turned to find Mira standing in the doorway, a look of murderous rage across her face. She looked directly at me.

"Alex is in the office with Arvin. Please don't repeat what my husband just said. I truly want her to be happy." She took a deep breath. "I will deal with him. You deal with her."

With a withering backward glance, I left the kitchen.

*

Half an hour later, parked at a McDonald's drive-thru, I still pondered if I should tell Alex about what had happened in the kitchen. I nibbled the end of the plastic McFlurry spoon as Alex tucked into her McSpicy.

"It's just so good," she moaned. A splotch of mayo clung to her nose.

"Here," I said, wiping the mayo away with a napkin. "I don't have to ask if you're enjoying that."

She dropped the half-eaten burger into the box and wiped her hands. "Yeah, I just really felt like I needed it. It's been a day and a half. And then some."

"So... what are you going to do?"

"About what?"

"Your dad, the money... any of it."

She sighed and took a sip of her milkshake. "I'm still going to see my dad, no matter what my brother thinks. I waited for over an hour today but Pa was completely out of it. As for the money, I haven't decided yet."

"How much is it?" I asked hesitantly.

She shrugged. "I haven't looked. Does it matter?"

"May I?" I asked, indicating the folder on top of the dashboard.

She nodded. I flipped through it quickly. The amount the family offered her wasn't a surprise. But there was a lot of legal jargon.

"It's a lot of money, Alex. You should have a lawyer look through it."

She shrugged again. "I don't really care. If you want to take it to a lawyer, you can."

She hesitated before saying, "But... it was kind of nice today, wasn't it? Mira's so sweet. They were only dating when I left home... I hadn't even met her before... I didn't realize she cared so much. It's really all I ever wanted."

I ran my knuckles over her cheek. "You have me, too."

"I know," she said. "And believe it or not, at least you're part of the family in some small way now."

I frowned. "What?! That's the last thing I would get from that little shouting fest today. Why would you say that?"

"They were all shouting in English, weren't they?"

"Oh."

Chapter Thirteen

My gut clenched the next day when Alex told me she'd like me to be in the hospital with her. I wanted to be there, truly, but I knew the kind of problems my presence would cause. I'd hoped that today would be the day that she'd reconcile things with her dad. But it looked less and less likely as we walked through the stark white halls.

She was wearing yet another one of my tops - a navy blue one this time. Her short hair was tied back into the tiniest bun imaginable and she wore a pair of stud earrings. I hadn't even known she had her ears pierced until this morning.

I think she was intentionally de-gaying in the hopes that this meeting would be as painless as possible. I didn't blame her for it, but I highly doubted a pretty top and a pair of earrings was going to cut it. It was the way she carried herself - the swagger, the way she spoke - all of it was going to be hard to mask.

When we reached the floor where her dad's ward was, we found the family gathered outside. The floor was quiet, save for the whir of the air conditioning and the cacophony of several phones ringing simultaneously.

Her mother was the first to spot us. Mrs Shankar's gaze passed over me - I was dressed in a black pleated skirt, a lightweight white tee and black strappy heels - and a look of resignation settled over her face. She looked exhausted, as though she hadn't slept for days. Stray strands of hair had fallen away from the severe knot at the nape of her neck. Her eyes were red-rimmed.

"How is he?" Alex asked her mother.

"How do you think, Amala? He's dying. The doctors are in there with him now. They kicked us out. Why he needs five doctors, I'll never know." She swiped the back of her hand over her forehead. "He wants to see you."

"Okay. We'll wait."

I saw Mira waving a few seats down and walked towards her. If possible, she looked even bigger today. Her face was red and puffy.

"Are you okay?" I asked, taking a seat next to her, crossing my legs. The two brothers lounged against the wall opposite us.

"Fine, thank you," she said with a tilt of her chin. I followed her gaze and saw Alex standing rigidly with her hands behind her back as her mother did up the buttons of her blouse so that her sports bra didn't show. Her facial muscles twitched as Mrs Shankar withdrew a pin from her bun and twisted Alex's fringe into a little poofy puff of hair. I would've laughed if we were anywhere but in a hospital waiting to see my girlfriend's dying father.

Mrs Shankar said something too low for Mira or I to hear, but Alex nodded, her face stoic. She reached back and unclasped the gold cross that hung around her neck, slipping it under the soft collar of Alex's top and letting it fall against her chest.

More words we couldn't hear. Mira and I exchanged bewildered glances before Alex took a seat next to me.

"You all right?" I asked her. She only nodded.

"You look nice, Amala." This, surprisingly, came from Arjun, who offered her a small smile. Alex stared at her brother, a mixture of shock and apprehension on her face. Then she sat back in the plastic waiting chair and propped an Oxford-clad foot on her knee.