Alex - The Novella

Alex appeared in the doorway of the bedroom, a towel thrown over her shoulder and her headphones around her neck.

"I'm going for a shower. Care to join?"

I bit my lip as a shrill stream of words sounded from my headphones. Alex's brows shot up. "Who's that?"

"Her mother." The answer was crystal clear.

Alex looked terrified. "But I just..." She slid the towel around her torso. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Did she see everything?"

"Kinda," I said at the same time my mom interjected with, "Totally."

Alex looked like she was starting to panic. I set the headphones down and moved out of camera range, pushing Alex into the bedroom.

"Don't panic," I said.

"How can I not panic? My girlfriend's mother just saw me naked!" She threw off the towel and ruffled through her drawer - yes, she had a whole drawer here now - for shorts and a tee.

"Alex." My voice was as calm as it could be. "I told you my mom's a hippie. I'm sure she's seen everything in her day."

"But it's still weird." She tugged on her shorts.

I held out a hand. "Come with me."

"But I don't want to."

"Well, you could either come meet her now or be embarrassed for the next few weeks. It's up to you."

She very reluctantly let me drag her back to my desk. Mom was still there, sipping her morning coffee, waiting for me. I pushed Alex down onto the overstuffed desk chair and perched on her thighs. Her arm rested lightly on my waist.

I reached out and unplugged the headphone jack.

"Mom, this is Alex."

Mom set her coffee cup down - it was the really cute mug that said 'Don't be fooled, this may be wine' that I'd gotten her when she received her 1 year chip at AA - and gave Alex a little wave.

"How are you, Alex?"

"I'm fine, Ms. Summers. And you?"

"Good, thank you. Please call me Maggie. I need to get to work soon but I wanted to meet you. Since we're so well acquainted already." And she winked into the camera. My mother winked at my girlfriend. I felt my face heat.

"Mom!"

"I'm sorry about that," Alex said sheepishly. "I didn't realize you were there."

"Well, for what it's worth, you have a beautiful body."

"Mom!" My cheeks were now bright red. This was starting to feel like another embarrassing junior high moment.

"Thanks, Maggie." Alex laughed a little uncomfortably.

"So." Mom set down her coffee mug and was suddenly all business. "How did you two meet? What do you do? Is this why you suddenly decided to stay in Singapore?"

"Well," Alex started. "Cady was my teacher in Junior College. I'm doing an internship with a magazine. And yes, I'm the reason why she's here. Sorry."

Mom looked taken aback. "Wait. Cady, you were her teacher? Oh, my god. Have I raised some kind of pervert?"

I gasped in outrage and Alex just laughed. There was a wicked twinkle in her eye. "You have no idea. She basically stalked me for two years and blackmailed me with terrible grades if I didn't go out with her."

"Cady!" My mother looked horrified.

"Alex!" I slapped her on the shoulder, shocked by her bold-faced lie. I struggled to get off her lap but she pulled me even closer and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"I'm just kidding. Really. We didn't date until after I graduated."

"Oh, thank god! Cady, why didn't you just tell me all of this before?"

"Well," I squirmed. "It was really new and special and I wanted to see where it went first."

"Oh, honey. I really should be upset with you for keeping all of this from me. But I'm just happy to see you so happy. Alex, keep my baby safe, okay? It's hard when she's so far away."

"I'll try my very best."

Mom checked her watch. "Well, I've gotta run. My dream job awaits." She rolled her eyes. After she'd gotten her one-year chip at AA, she'd taken a retail job at Macy's. She hated it but hadn't found any place better that would hire her. It's been three years. Plus, it wasn't like she had to worry about bills or anything. Nana's alimony checks took care of that.

"It was nice to meet you," Alex said as I waved goodbye.

Both of us leaned back in the chair and sighed as the FaceTime screen disappeared.

"So, what did you think?" I interlaced my fingers with hers and stroked the little veins on the back of her hand.

"Your mother's lovely, Cay. You two look so much alike."

I winced. "It's always weird when people say that. But then again, I'd rather look like her than a stranger I've never met."

She brushed her lips against mine. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "Don't be. I've made my peace with it." I paused, broaching a subject we'd avoided for the last month or so. "What about you? Do you look like..."

She stood and set me on my feet. "How about that shower now?"

She pressed a quick kiss to my lips before disappearing into the bedroom. I watched her go, feeling like I'd somehow overstepped a line and she'd - literally - put me in my place.

After what Jack had told me and what Daniel had alluded to a month ago, I'd tried - without actually prying - to get Alex to open up about her past. All she'd ever said about her family was that her parents were dicks. And that was on our first date. Since then, every time I brought up the subject, she'd find an excuse to avoid it altogether.

Yes, I was concerned. Cliché as it sounded, her past was the final piece of the puzzle.

Those first few months with Alex were an experience. I'd never been so comfortable sharing my space and my body with anyone before. Charm had advised that a relationship with a woman had its good and bad sides. So far, I'd only seen the good.

I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being taken care of. We were just so innately in tune with each other that it was uncanny and a little jarring for someone who'd never felt anything like it before. But it didn't take long to get used to.

We were making love one weekend when Alex slid up my body and cuddled me close. I was still reeling with the aftershocks when she kissed my neck and murmured, "Your period is due."

"Is that really your idea of dirty talk?" I asked, panting. "How would you even know that?"

She kissed me deeply and I tasted myself on her - something I never thought I'd get used to.

"You taste different, baby." That was all she said.

True enough, there it was the next day. And Alex came home from work with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a six-pack of Snickers.

I think I may have fallen in love with her (again) that day.

But it was also the little things. Sharing a space with her, watching her do mundane things like shave or cook or hunch over her laptop with a frown - all of it seemed to be a part of my life now.

"You're merging," Charm said over FaceTime the next day.

"We are not!" I insisted. "What does that mean anyway? It doesn't sound good."

Charm rolled her eyes. "It's when you basically become the same person."

"That's gross. No, Charm, we're not 'becoming the same person'. I just like that we work so well together."

"Merging," Charm said in a singsong voice.

"Stop it. You never, ever told me it could feel so good to be with a girl, babe. I feel like you held out on me for fifteen years."

Charm raised an eyebrow, turning over in bed. It was just after 7AM back home. Her short hair was mussed and the navy blue sheets barely covered her as she moved around the bed, stark naked. "I recall that I offered first-hand instruction but you turned me down."

"Really? You want to go there now?"

She shrugged. "Just sayin'. You know what, though? You look majorly happy, Cee. Like the kind of happy that makes me want to punch you in the face."

I laughed. "You always were a jealous bitch."

"Perhaps. But I also think you held out for the one woman who truly makes you happy."

"So all this is not a normal lesbian thing? I've wondered, you know."

Charm laughed and reached for the cigarettes on her bedside table. "Not my relationships, anyway. Mostly, it's just a lot bickering and 'why don't you have time for me' and 'why can't I keep some stuff here' and 'you came twice so you do me now'. It's not the best."

I rolled my eyes. "I feel like that's a pretty negative view of relationships in general. I wonder why you're still single."

Charm lit up her Marlboro Reds; she'd been smoking them since high school. Correction - she used to smoke Marlboro Blacks but when they were discontinued, she'd grouched for months and settled for Reds instead. I wasn't a big fan of either.

Alex smoked a menthol brand sometimes but she wasn't a heavy smoker. She especially wasn't a heavy smoker when I hid her pack and slapped a nicotine patch on her. She usually grumbled for a bit but I had distractions of my own to keep her occupied.

"You know your sheets are going to stink," I commented, watching her take another deep drag.

Charm shrugged. "Anyway, are you even going to come back for a visit this year?"

I bit my lip. "I don't know. Don't get me wrong - I want to. I just don't think we can afford it right now."

"Jesus - we can't afford it? What did I say about merging?"

I tsked. "It's not merging. It's called being respectful of what your other half can afford. I'd offer to pay for it but knowing Alex, she won't take a cent."

"See - there's your first problem. Money. You make way more than she does."

I raised a brow. "Are you just trying to start trouble between Alex and I because your love life is shit?"

Charm fell back on the bed. "Maybe," she muttered.

"Well, it's not going to work. We'll just visit next year or something. You can still feel my love over FaceTime, can't you?"

I blew her a kiss with dramatically puckered lips. I may even have batted my lashes.

"And... that's all the action I'll be getting today," she said, stubbing out her cigarette with a mock sigh.

"Well, I don't think I can say the same."

"Bye, bitch," she growled into the camera.

*

As it turned out, the initial fib I'd told my mother wasn't totally wrong. After teaching in the Singapore public school system for three years, my skills seemed to be in high demand in the International School sector. A few weeks after sending out my resume, I received a call back from a school that had the reputation of being rather hoity-toity. Which meant big bucks... hopefully!

Everything seemed to be falling into place. Alex had eventually decided not to apply for University just yet, although her A Level scores had been good enough for it. Instead, she'd gotten an internship as a Staff Writer for a start up magazine in London - she worked for them three days a week on the UK's national minimum wage and had gotten a part-time job at Starbucks for the other three. Despite the crazy hours, she seemed happy doing something she loved.

It was the height of summer - well, it was summer all year round in Singapore, but June was always especially hot - and I stretched out by the pool at the condo, flipping through a local magazine. It always surprised me how many ads there were about skin lightening. All my life, I'd been chasing the sun with a bottle of Hawaiian Tropic to avoid having pasty skin.

I turned over on the lounge chair and unclasped the bikini top, letting the sun scorch my skin with nothing in the way. The sun was unrelenting and the humidity got to my head pretty quickly.

I awoke a couple of hours later when a cool-ish breeze blew across my back. The sun was just beginning to set. I groggily checked my phone. Several missed FaceTimes from my mum, worried that I hadn't called her before she started work. I winced as I dropped her a quick message to let her know I hadn't been murdered.

A message from Alex, asking what I wanted for dinner. And a message from Charm, asking how I was.

I re-clasped the top, grabbed my stuff and headed for the elevator. Sleeping in the sun usually made me quite dazed and this time was no different. I tried to collect myself as I headed up to the apartment but a yawn caught me as I lifted the keys to the door. I was already looking forward to a quiet evening in with Alex and a movie. It was her turn to pick tonight and I really hoped she picked one of those ridiculous Tamil movies that had heroes flying about in action scenes. Those were always unbelievably entertaining. Plus, I was beginning to pick up on some of the language.

"Miss Summers, I presume?"

I jerked around, startled by the sharp voice, and dropped my keys. They fell with a clatter on the tile. An older Indian lady stood at the other end of the hallway, her eyes obscured by cat-eye designer shades.

I reached down for the keys and pushed a few strands of hair out of my face. "Uh, yes?"

She took a few steps forward, towering over me in her wedged heels. She raised her shades, her eyes taking me in from head to toe. I tugged at the halter strap of my bikini and hugged the towel closer to my chest.

"I'm here to see my daughter. Is she here?"

The confusion must've shown on my face. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I'm Amala's mother. I need to see her."

The little metal feet of my unexpected guest's Prada bag clanged loudly as she set it down on the coffee table.

"Would you like something to drink?" I asked as she took a seat on the couch.

"No, thank you. You Americans don't know how to make tea," she replied, casually slipping off her sunglasses and placing them in her purse, as though she hadn't just insulted a whole continent.

"Right," I said. "I'll be right back."

I ducked into the bedroom and dialed Alex's mobile. Straight to voicemail. I tried again. When that didn't work, I dropped her several panicked messages. Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

I slipped a t-shirt over my head and tried to calm down. She's just a person. You've been through this. She's just like any other aggressive parent at a parent-teacher conference. Breathe. I laid a hand on my stomach and tried to get my breathing under control.

When I felt somewhat collected, I quickly tied my hair into top knot and secured it with a clip. This is my place. She's my guest. I'm in control.

The thought calmed me down a little.

When I exited the bedroom, she was not where I'd left her. Instead, she was standing by the mantle with a picture frame in her hand. I knew what she was looking at - it was Alex and I at the Red Dot gathering. Daniel had taken a candid shot of us with Alex's lips pressed to my forehead. I had a stupidly happy smile of my face.

She was staring at it so intently that she didn't even notice I was in the room. I cleared my throat. She hastily put the picture back and turned away, raising her fingers to her face as though she were wiping tears from her eyes.

"Uh, ma'am. Like I said, Alex is at work today but she'll be home soon. Would you like to come by another time? I can ask her when she has a day off and..."

"No," she said, sitting back down on the couch. "I'll wait."

So much for me being in control!

"On second thought, I will have a cup of tea. Two teabags, please. Milk and sugar."

I was grateful not to be in the same room with her - my mind was a bubbling cauldron of worry, anxiety and pain. Nothing could possibly go right if Alex walked in the front door and saw her mother. She never spoke about her family, and after what Jack had told me, I was sure there was a really good reason for it.

I took as long as I could to make the tea, checking my phone constantly to see if Alex had replied. Nothing.

"Here you go," I said, setting a small tray in front of... "I didn't get your name."

"Mrs Shankar." Right. So it looked like I wouldn't be on a first name basis with her mom.

"Enjoy your tea."

We sat in silence for what seemed like forever. Mrs Shankar stirred her tea, tapping the spoon against the mug repeatedly. She finally took a sip and rested the saucer on her lap. I studied her as she sipped but I couldn't find an ounce of similarity between her and her daughter. From her lighter skin tone, snobbish behavior and the small gold cross around her neck, she was every bit the polar opposite of Alex.

"So, what do you do?" she asked after eons.

"I'm a teacher."

"I see. And what do you teach?"

"English and Creative Writing."

"Very good," she said, as though she were mulling the information over.

I checked my phone yet again. Still nothing from Alex. It was almost seven thirty; she should've been home by now.

"I was a teacher once," Mrs Shankar said, cutting into my panicked thoughts.

That surprised me. "Really? What did you teach?"

"I taught English as well." She looked down at her cup.

"Why did you quit?"

A sad smile played around her lips. "It was the 80s, my dear. When I had my first son, my husband's family expected me to stay at home and look after him. So I did."

"And you never went back to teaching?"

She shook her head. "There are certain things expected of us and these things, we should do without question. I see that there are only women in your family."

The change of topic threw me. She indicated a picture on my corner table. It was a picture of my Nana, mom and I on the front steps of the townhouse Nana had acquired in her second divorce. I loved that picture. Everyone always commented that the three of us looked like sisters but we'd never looked more so than in that shot. We'd gotten a passer-by to take it for us after a day of shopping. Nana sat between my knees and I was hugging her from behind. Mom had her head on Nana's lap. The trees were just starting to turn for autumn. It was the summer before I'd left for University in Sheffield.

"Yes, it's just the three of us," I murmured, trying to get past the lump in my throat.

"What about your father?" she asked pointedly.

What could I say? That my mother's a hippie who got knocked up after a wild night at a MJ concert? That I didn't even know who my father was? Unlikely.

"He's not in my life," I said instead.

She seemed to consider my response. "Do you think the lack of men in your life is the cause of your affliction?"

I'd just taken a great gulp of air to set her straight about what she claimed to be an 'affliction' when I heard keys in the door seconds before Alex's voice came across.

"Hi, baby. Sorry I'm late. My phone..."

Mrs Shankar set her saucer down and stood. The shock on Alex's face was abundantly evident. I walked over to her and took the grocery bags and backpack from her.

"I'll leave you two alone."

"No," Alex said, her gaze hardening. "Stay."

I looked at her and then back at her mother.

Mrs Shankar said something in Tamil but Alex shook her head.

"You're not going to shut her out. Cady's my girlfriend. Say whatever you want but she's staying right here."

A look of disgust crept across her mother's face at the word 'girlfriend'. But she took a deep breath and seemed to collect herself.

"I need you to come with me."

"Why?" Alex crossed her arms, her stance rather aggressive. "I have papers to prove that I don't belong in your family anymore. Why should I go anywhere with you?"

I placed my hand on her bicep in what I hoped was a calming move. Mrs Shankar looked away almost guiltily. But Alex wasn't done.

"Haven't you done enough? You threw me out when you disagreed with my life choices. When all your therapists and prayers and money couldn't change who I am. I was sixteen!" Her voice cracked. "You were ashamed of me. You still are - look at you! You come into my partner's home and knowing you, probably intimidated her, and now what? What do you want?"

Alex was breathing heavily.

Still looking away, Mrs Shankar said, "Your father's in hospital. He wants to see you."