Alex - The Novella

Arjun glared at her. I hid a smile behind my hand.

"They have been in there for almost an hour. The doctors," Mira informed us.

"That's... concerning," I murmured under my breath.

Mira's face was red again and she seemed to be breathing heavily. I frowned. "What's wrong?"

She waved my question away. "It's fine. Just a cramp."

It sure didn't look like "just a cramp".

The door to the ward opened and the doctors filed out. Arjun took his place next to his mom. The rest of us hung back. Alex took my hand in hers and I gave her a quick squeeze.

Whatever the doctors said, it wasn't good. I watched as Mrs Shankar squared her shoulders and nodded. Arjun put his arm around his mother, repeating 'it will be okay'. The look on the doctors' faces assured the rest of us that it wouldn't be.

"You can see him now but not too many people at once. He needs his rest."

Mrs Shankar nodded and swiped tears off her face. She gestured toward Alex. "Come. He's waiting."

"I'll be right here," I promised Alex. She nodded, her face just a mask of stoicism. As the family filed in, she looked back at me. I hoped the smile on my face was reassuring.

I exhaled deeply when the door closed.

"It must be difficult being caught in the middle of someone else's family drama."

Mira's voice caught me by surprise. I'd assumed she'd gone in with the others but she was still seated behind me.

"Why aren't you in there?" I asked.

"Oh, I told Arjun I'll stay out here. Too many people make me claustrophobic."

I raised an eyebrow. "Mira, you've been flushing on and off for the past twenty minutes. Are you okay?"

"Yes," she insisted, her fingers digging into the armrest of the plastic chair.

I placed my hand on hers. "Mira, is the baby coming?"

She didn't respond - I think she couldn't respond. She simply breathed in and out with one hand clasped over her tummy.

Then she nodded.

"My water broke a couple of hours ago in the bathroom," she said through clenched teeth. "But I wanted to be here for Alex. I wanted to know everything was okay before the baby comes."

I glanced briefly at the door to the ward. So far, I heard no yelling. That seemed like a good sign.

"Mira, I need to get you to a delivery room. Or a nurse. Can you just stay put?" I asked, pushing the hair out of her eyes. "You'll be okay if I leave you for two minutes?"

She nodded. "Don't tell Arjun yet. Just let him deal with all that first. Okay?"

"I promise," I said, turning on my strappy heels and running as quickly as could to the nearest nurses' station.

A lone nurse stood behind the desk, manning two phone lines. She looked up briefly and held up a finger.

"No, I don't have a second. Please, someone's having a baby. You have to get her to a maternity ward or something. Her water broke a while ago."

"Please hold," the nurse chirped into the two headsets. "When the water break?"

My mind raced. "A couple of hours ago. Her contractions seem to be getting closer together, though. I know she's had at least three in the past twenty minutes."

"Okay." The nurse hit a few buttons and hung up. "I just call for replacement. Go back to your friend and make sure she breathe evenly. Like this." She demonstrated Lamaze breathing. "I get the wheelchair."

I nodded and raced back, almost tripping on the stupid heels I just had to pair with the outfit. Mira was bent over, her face pale now.

I dropped to my knees again. "Mira, how far apart are the contractions?"

"A few minutes."

"Okay. You're okay; you'll be fine. A nurse is coming to get you. I need you to breathe, okay? In and out. Deeply. Like this." I simulated what the nurse had done. But Mira shook her head.

"It hurts. It really hurts!"

I grabbed her hand and winced as she gripped me tightly. "Mira, look at me. Focus on me."

Her head shot up, her eyes glazed over with pain. At the back of my mind, I had to admit that even in the midst of labor, with the threat of a human being crawling out of her at any moment, Mira was still stunning.

"Now, breathe with me. Just focus on me."

I managed to get her to do the Lamaze breathing. She lasted four rounds.

"My gyno's information is in my purse. Call her."

"Uh..." I wasn't an expert in this area but I was pretty sure the doctor wouldn't be getting here before the kid. Still, I said, 'sure' and ruffled through her bag.

The nurse finally came around the corner with a wheelchair and a doctor in tow. Relief trickled through me.

"Ma'am, we need to take you to the theatre to do a quick initial assessment. Let me help you into the chair, okay?"

It took two of us to get Mira into the wheelchair. She landed with a heavy thump, her hand still grasping mine as she gave the doctor her details. I handed him the card and the little booklet I'd found in Mira's bag.

The nurse cooed encouragements to Mira as she wheeled her to the theatre. With a backward glance at the door to the ward, I followed the trio, my hand still tightly clasped in Mira's.

It took us almost fifteen minutes to get to the theatre. By the time Mira was wheeled in, she was screaming. A couple more nurses helped her out of her maternity dress and into a hospital gown. A pinkish substance I wished I hadn't seen trickled down her thigh.

I took her hand again as she lay on the table. Several contraptions were already hooked up to her. The doctor was explaining the various devices but I doubted she could hear him over all the screaming she was doing.

The doctor - by now, he'd introduced himself as the on-call doctor, Dr. Lim - slid on gloves and examined Mira. His brows rose.

"What!" I yelled over the screams, panicked.

"She's very close to delivering the baby. We have to prepare for delivery soon. Don't worry, the baby is in a good position."

A nurse sidled up to me, Mira's baby booklet in her hand. She pointed at Arjun's name. "The husband where?" she asked.

"Get him, get him, get him," Mira panted before another scream tore through her.

"I..." I really didn't want to leave her. She seemed to know that. She put on her bravest face and even attempted a smile.

"I'm fine, Cady. Just get him quickly. Please."

I nodded and backed away quickly, nearly tripping over the stupid heels again. Frustrated, I jerked them off and broke off in a run through the maze of white walls. Getting to the theatre had taken us fifteen minutes. I made it back to the ward in under three, cursing myself for not taking Alex up on her offer to train at the gym. More than one staff member had yelled at me along the way for running like a lunatic.

On hindsight, I could've probably gotten a nurse at reception to buzz the ward, but I'd never been the best 'think on your feet' kind of person.

I barreled through the door of the ward without knocking, red-faced and bare-footed. I probably looked a sight. I tried to catch my breath but wheezed instead, clutching my side. It was all very attractive.

Everyone had frozen the moment I barged in. Alex was standing next to her father's hospital bed, her mother's gold cross necklace dangling from her fingers. I shot her a quizzical look before turning to Arjun.

"Mira's having the baby. You have to hurry. Seriously," I reiterated when he didn't move. "You need to move now. The doctor said she needs to start pushing soon. I'm sure you'll want to be there for that. Theatre 4C in building B."

That seemed to snap Arjun out of his daze. He pushed past me, Arvin on his tail. Mrs Shankar grabbed her purse and patted her husband's calf before following her sons. Then it was just Alex, her father and I in the ward.

I needed to sit down. There was a stitch kicking off in my side and my thighs were screaming. Also, throwing up seemed like a viable option.

Alex turned away from me and let the gold necklace coil on the beige bedside table. Her father simply stared at me. His fingers were trembling. He looked frail but his gaze was piercing.

Alex reached out and pulled me towards her.

"Pa, this is Cady."

"It's nice to meet you, sir," I said, perhaps a little hesitantly. He hadn't blinked in well over a minute.

Then he turned to Alex. "So all of it was really a lie?"

She didn't meet his gaze. "Yes. I'm sorry. I just didn't want to disappoint you... again."

When he didn't say anything, she continued. "Pa, I'm doing a writing internship - you always said I'd make a good writer, remember? I work for a London magazine - can you imagine that? It's like a dream come true. And I've found love, Pa. Real love, like you and Ma have." Her arm tightened around my shoulder. "This is Cady. She's a teacher."

My breath caught as I stared up at her. She meant every word she said - that much was obvious. A burst of warmth - nothing to do with the stitches this time - spread through me. I reached up and interlaced my fingers with hers. I knew there was a stupid smile on my face.

Her father looked between us as though we were aliens. Then he said, "Thank you for helping Mira."

My smiled faltered. Alex's arm dropped from my shoulder. She ran a hand through her hair, her mother's hairpin flying across the room. Tears of frustration were already welling in her eyes.

"That's it?!" she asked her father.

"I don't know what you expect me to say, Amala. None of this is normal. I tried to help you but you're beyond help. I see that now."

"I don't need help, Pa!" she yelled. "I just need..."

She didn't finish her sentence. Instead, she shook her head and walked out of the room.

She'd already crossed half the hallway when I caught up with her. She was struggling with the buttons on the shirt that her mother had done up to her neck.

"Let me help," I said, but she backed away. The hurt must've shown in my eyes because she apologized immediately.

"I - I just need some time, Cay. Please."

She barely stopped to get the words out.

I stood there in my bare feet, in the middle of an empty hallway, watching the elevator doors close on her, those infernal fucking phones at reception ringing off the hook.

Chapter Fourteen

Mira's baby girl weighed in at 3.1 kilograms and measured 49 centimeters. And she was perfect in every way, just like her mother. I saw the newborn only briefly as she was being wheeled out for observation but there was no denying that she would soon look exactly like her mother.

My heart was heavy as I entered the theatre to retrieve my shoes, trying my very best not to be noticed by anyone. The family was crowded around the new mother, and I thought - I really did! - that I would get away with crouching down, extending my arm into the room, retrieving my shoes, and getting home to sort my feelings out. But when is life ever so kind?

My shoes were nowhere near where I'd left them by the door. Trust me, I felt around enough to know. Instead, a quick peep into the room showed that someone had stacked the heels neatly next to a chair... all the way across the room.

I sighed and stood, girding my loins to face the family again.

As soon as I stepped into the room, Mira called me over to her.

"I don't mean to interrupt. I just needed to get my shoes," I said, still edging towards them.

"Come here. I need to thank you."

I reluctantly walked over to her side and slid in between the wall and Mrs Shankar. Mira grasped my hand.

"Did you see her?" she asked, her throat raw from all the screaming. "They didn't let me hold her for more than a few minutes."

"I saw her," I said. "She's beautiful, Mira, just like you. And she's all pink and healthy. She's got a good set of lungs on her, too."

"Thank you for being here today. I don't know what I would have done otherwise."

"I'm sure you would've been fine. I'm very happy for you, Mira. You, too, Arjun." I glanced at him briefly but he was staring down at his wife with such a look of adoration that it was hard for me to remember why I should heartily dislike him.

"I was reading about your people last night," Mira said, her cheeks suddenly ruddy. "I wanted to know more about the... lifestyle. Do you think you and Alex will have a baby? I know you can do that now."

I choked on my own spit and I'm sure Mrs Shankar took great pleasure in slapping me on the back. Hard. All eyes on the room were on me by that point as I tried to collect myself.

"Um..." I stammered awkwardly. "We've only been together for a few months. And Alex is barely 19. I don't even know if Singapore allows things like that. But maybe we'll think about it in the future."

It seemed like the safest answer. And it made Mira smile.

"Where is Alex?"

"She wasn't feeling too good," I lied. This was a woman who put off going to the delivery room so that Alex could have some time with her family. I wasn't about to tell her about the shitshow and upset her. "She went home. But she'll be back to see you and the baby. Don't you worry about that. You just get your strength back."

I don't think she bought it but she laid her head back on her pillow. A nurse came into the room to let us know it was time to move Mira to the recovery room.

Gratefully, I moved away from the family and slipped my heels back on. My thighs protested in agony.

"I'll walk with you," Arvin offered. I wanted to turn him down - I really needed time in my own head - but he seemed like he needed to talk. So I waved goodbye to Mira and let him walk me to the carpark.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out. I really wanted Alex and Pa to... reconcile in some way after all this time."

"You know what?" I said as I jabbed the button for the elevator. "I really did, too. So did Mira. But I guess it's just not in the cards for her."

"Do you think there's anything I can do to help?"

We stepped into the elevator. "Honestly? I don't know. Maybe give her a call tomorrow?"

He nodded. "I'll give you my number, too. Please call if you ever need anything."

Despite everything, I was touched. "Thank you, Arvin. That's very nice of you."

"I have a lot to make up for," he murmured under his breath but I heard it anyway.

We said goodbye in the parking lot. I walked around in a bit of a daze, having forgotten exactly where I'd parked. My last moments with Alex replayed on a loop in my head. The sheer pain in her eyes would likely haunt me for a long, long time. But it was the way she'd backed away from me that truly scarred me.

I finally found my little Nissan and slid into it, letting my aching head rest against the steering wheel. Then, and only then, did I let the tears out.

*

I worried my nails to stubs in the apartment, replaying the moment she'd walked away in my mind. I need some time, she'd said. My head understood it but my heart said different. It had been almost 8 hours, well past midnight, and she hadn't even texted to say she was okay.

I checked my phone again and threw it across the couch when the home screen remained blank. This was torture.

Heart in my throat, I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. There was only so much passivity I could endure before I began to choke on it.

She'd told me on our first date that she went to "her spot" at the beach to think. It seemed only natural to check it out before bothering Daniel and the others.

Twenty minutes later, as I saw her lean form spread across the ledge where we'd had our first kiss, my heart rate seemed to go back to normal.

She's okay. I needed to repeat it before I believed it.

Her eyes were closed as I walked over and knelt beside her. My navy blouse sat in a neat pile at her feet. She laid there in only her grey sports bra and jeans.

"Hey." I tried to come up with words that could encapsulate how worried I'd been over the past few hours. Nothing seemed to truly fit. "I thought you might be here," I said instead.

Her eyes flickered open but they stared past me at the stars. "I needed some time to think. I'm sorry I didn't call."

"I understand." Did I?

She didn't say anything for minutes, so I pushed forward. "Mira had a baby girl. She's all pink and perfect."

"Is she?" Alex smiled, finally looking at me.

"Yeah. Mira asked where you were. I said we'd visit soon."

"Okay."

"Hey, you want to hear something funny?" I asked as I took the pressure off my knees and sat down cross-legged next to her.

"Sure."

"Apparently, Mira's been reading up about lesbian lifestyles. She said she wanted to know more about it. And just as she was thanking me for helping her today, in front of your whole family, she asked if we'd ever have a baby."

I thought Alex would laugh with me. I really did. But instead, she stared at me, her gaze intense and unwavering.

"What did you say?"

"I, uh, I said that we've only been going out a few months and that you're way too young for all that and that Singapore doesn't allow same-sex adoption or-"

"Come here," she interrupted, unfolding her hands from behind her head. I set my purse down and slid into the warm little nook her body makes for me.

I felt her fingers in my hair and at the side of my temple. It was ages before she said: "Look at the stars, Cay. They're so beautiful here. You don't get to see them this way in the city."

The sky was pitch dark with tiny hints of silver glinting behind passing clouds. Alex was quiet and I was content just to be near her, feeling her arms around me. We lay there in silence for a while. After the day we'd both had, the simple comfort of lying in each other's arms under the stars seemed like the best kind of therapy.

"I think I'm like one of those stars," she said a while later.

"What do you mean?"

"You can't really see how brightly they shine until you leave the city." She turned to me, her face barely an inch from mine. "I think I need to leave this city, Cay."

My eyes widened. "Are you sure?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

She nodded, her forehead brushing mine. "It's too painful. They're never going to accept me. I gave up on that hope years ago but I thought the process of dying might have changed the old man."

"Where are you going to go?"

"We," she corrected. "We can go wherever you think is best."

I smiled and pressed a kiss to her lips. "I'd love to show you New York."

"I'd like that. What about work?"

"I haven't signed the contract yet. It shouldn't be too hard to get out of it."

She trailed her knuckles down my bare arm.

"New York gives us more options than we have now," she said, her eyes searching mine.

She placed a palm on the small of my back and pulled me closer to her. Slowly, deliberately, she took my lips in a kiss meant to heal, to promise. Her fingers trailed over the exposed skin between my top and shorts. I trembled slightly as she deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue against mine. Every cell in my body stood at attention, waiting for the next surge of pleasure from her touch.

She pulled away slowly and pressed her forehead against mine. "One day, baby," she whispered, and I understood the promise that it was.

We lay in the darkness, basking in the promise of tomorrow.

THE END

A sneak peak at Maya, my work in progress. You've met Maya in Alex's painful recollections. The two meet again while Maya is studying in NYC. This is her (and Gray's) story.

NYC

When I turned the corner towards Expresso later that afternoon, a loud shriek almost made me drop my cigarette. I watched Maya, who had her schoolbooks fanned out on the patio table she occupied, jump up from her seat and throw her arms around a poor soul in a bone-crushing hug. The poor soul in question didn't seem to mind, though. She hugged Maya right back, an unmistakable grin on her face.