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All Comments on 'Alice Ch. 01'

by arkwrights06

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AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Doesn't do anything for me.

Too many grammatical mistakes for my liking. Are you sure you posted the edited version? Sentence construction is positively awful, wrong choice of word, apostrophes for plural and so on. If this is definitive, change your editor, PDQ.

Too little development, dire description of sex and naive choice of words.

1 star. Some of your previous stories are 10 times better.

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