All Comments on 'Alice Home From the Restaurant'

This is my first story anywhere, and I'd like to know what people think of it.

Ended to soon. Please make next chapter longer and describe her better

Alice, I saw your request in the Public Feedback Portal. I would not normally read a Non-consent story like this (raped and enjoying it, which I consider a disgusting fantasy and one I cannot comprehend any woman ever entertaining).

I read it from the viewpoint of assessing the construction and readability rather than a story on the Non-con topic. Its shortness made it a quick and easy read. I also thought it was well constructed for what it was -- a description of the action in a single scene with little introductory information and no outcome described.

There was adequate mix of describing the action and dialogue to illustrate that action, and the first-person narrator's thoughts and emotions were quite well explained. All in all, I thought it was well written for what it was.

If you decide to continue contributing stories on the Literotica site, it could be interesting if you try a longer format with more character development to give the reader more than just a single scene.

And your biog note is totally uninformative. I like to know a little about an author who interests me (or who requests my interest) and other commenters have said similar things to other authors.

In summary, a competent start. If you write in a different category, I could be interested in your stories. If you are really interested in readers commenting on your stories, write a Loving Wives story. LW has the most prolific (and ferocious) commentators on the Literotica site.

Lue

"She knew how long I'd been without and she set me up on a date with her cousin."

Been without what? A date, sex, a night out, some fun? Was she lonely, frustrated, fed up?

" but it seems a bit beyond them it makes all the difference." Sorry, but that doesn't make sense.

There is no engaging of the senses of touch, taste and smell - things necessary in erotica to draw the reader in. What is his voice like? How do his hands feel - warm, cold, sweaty, strong? Is he big, hairy, small, heavy? There's nothing tactile - no touching except the penis/vagina contact.

"I realized how long it had been since a man had looked at me in quite this way." What way? As a victim, as someone he could do whatever he liked with? Does that make her happy? Gratified? How does she know how he's looking at her if she can't see?

So, a stranger attacks her when she comes home, pulls a hood over her head and ties her hands. This excites her. He rapes her but he has a big dick which makes her so turned on she has multiple orgasms. She feels no terror (which I would) and never worries that he might beat or kill her. A large penis conquers all. The end.

I know rape fantasies are very common, but you need to put more detail into this. Take your time and make it a bit longer.

By the time it finished, it sounded like it was NOT a rape.... after this, he tells her, and she is eager for his return?? She seems to be somewhat co-operating...lifting her hips so he can see her ass better.... happily sucking his massive cock to make his next insertion easier...for hi....and listening to his promise to return to "rape" her virgin ass?? This needs enrichment Alice!!